Zatch Bell and the Fanfiction Adventure
by Potentially Insane Fangirl
Summary: It was just an innocent browse through the internet, nobody expected this to happen. Now Zatch and the team must come face to face with something more evil than Zofis, more frightening than Penny, and more perverted than a drunk Folgore. Fanfiction.
1. Zatch's Discovery

**A/N: Seriously, do NOT ask how I came up with this piece of dog-poo. I was bored the other night while doing my math and TA-DA! Here is the result. Hope you guys won't have to gauge out your eyes after reading this. Tell me how it is so I know whether to keep it up or not. **

**I don't own anything, ho-kay!**

* * *

Kiyo sighed as he walked into his room. It had been a long day at school and boy, did he have a lot of homework to do. Setting his large pile of books on the desk besides Zatch's trusty friend, Vulcan 300, he sighed again and stretched out his sore muscles. He then looked upon the action figure made from a Pocky box and chop sticks, causing him to wonder why Zatch wasn't playing with it at that moment. However, any questions he had were quickly answered.

"Hi Kiyo!" The familar cry of that said 6 year old mamodo rang through the room. Zatch, who was sitting in front of Kiyo's computer, grinned merrily at the teenager. Kiyo turned to him and smiled back.

"Hello Zatch, what are you doing?" Kiyo chuckled as he walked over to the cheerful mamodo child.

"Oh, I was just browsing through one of these web sites, Fanfiction dot Net I think it's called." Zatch replied as he turned his attention back to the web site. "It's really cool! People write stories about their favorite shows and books and post it up here."

Kiyo raised his eyebrow and leaned over Zatch to look at the screen. He scanned the site for a minute before straightening up to leave.

"Hmm, looks interesting." He said, although truthfully he couldn't care less.

"It is!" Zatch replied, nodding wildly. Kiyo gave a small laugh and shook his head. "I'm hoping to find some Praying Mantis Joe fanfiction!" Zatch continued, his eyes gleaming with hope. "Although... I'm not sure where I'd find it."

Kiyo hummed, studying the front page of the site quietly.

"I imagine you would go to the Anime and Manga section." he stated after a couple of seconds, pointing to the link the stated boldly, 'ANIME AND MANGA'."

"Right!" Zatch exclaimed with excitement, grabbing the mouse. "Thanks Kiyo! This'll be great!"

Kiyo laughed

"Haha, no problem. I'll be downstars doing my homework. Don't take too long on the computer though, I might have to do some research later.

"No problem-o Kiyo!" Zatch yelled as Kiyo left the room, closing the door behind him. "I won't be too long... Now where was I? Ah yeah! I was checking out the Anime and Manga section. Let's see..."

Unfortunately, it appeared there had yet to be a Praying Mantis Joe section. Disappointed but still determined to explore the site, Zatch continued to read through the selections, reading all the way done to the Z section.

"...You're Under Arrest, Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Zatch Bell... huh?" Zatch paused, reading the name over a couple of times. "Zatch... Bell... wow, that's really weird, this anime has the same name as me. Cool!"

He laughed his signature laugh and clicked on the link.

"Let's see, what are the character names. Zatch, Kiyo, Suzy, Folgore, Kanchome, Brago, Tia... Hey, wait a minute...

His jaw dropped open. No way, it couldn't be. He scrolled through the sections, quickly reading summaries hoping to prove himself wrong. No use, the summaries implied similar situations he and his friends had been through. A coincidence? No, this was too weird... He jumped up from his seat and ran to the door.

"KIYO! KIYO!" He screamed, jumping up and down wildly. "GET BACK UP HERE QUICK!"

Zatch then heard an annoyed grumble and the stomping of feet as he ran back to his chair.

"What is it Zatch?" The slightly annoyed teen said as he walked back into the room.

"Kiyo look!" Zatch exclaimed, jabbing his finger at the screen. " Look, look! I found this anime named after me and all it's characters have the same names as us!"

"Don't be silly Zatch it's just-" Kiyo began as he walked over to the computer. He read through it for a moment. His eyes widened. "W-what?..." he whisped in shock.

"See Kiyo?"

"It's-its just a... a... coincidence." He stuttered, knowing deeply that this was just too weird to be just a coincidence.

"Maybe... but call the guys anyway. They HAVE to see this."

Kiyo hesitated for a moment.

"B-but Megumi and Folgore are probably busy, what with their career and all. And Su-"

"CALL THEM!"

"Okay, Okay! Fine!"

Kiyo sighed and went downstars to phone some of the gang (oh how convenient it was that most of their team members were so coincidentally all in Japan that day). Meanwhile, Zatch decided to take a peek at some of these "oh so awesome" fanfictions.

"Well, er, I might as well look at what people wrote about us. Should be great, I mean, why wouldn't it be?"

And so their fanfiction adventure begins.


	2. The First Fic

**A/N: Any of the fanfiction the characters are reading in this story are totally made up. I wouldn't actually use someone elses work (unless I want a lot of flames). The words in bold italics are the fics the characters are reading. I own nothing. **

* * *

"Kiyo, are you coming?" Zatch yelled impatiently as his reader walked back up the stairs and into his room.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here." Kiyo sighed, obviously slightly annoyed, as he sat down in the chair beside Zatch. Zatch quickly glanced at Kiyo then turned his attention back to the computer screen.

"So, did you call the guys?" The child muttered, clicking at the mouse.

"Yes, Yes, I called a few of them ."

"Good." Zatch said, nodding his head wildly. "They will totally FLIP when they see this."

Kiyo shrugged his shoulders and cocked his head back slightly.

"I still say it's just a coincidence." He murmured to himself.

"Shh, stop talking to yourself, I'm trying to read this story." Zatch hushed Kiyo by waving his hand in his face, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"What are you reading?" Kiyo asked, straining to see the screen.

"Something called 'The Bestest Fic Ever' or something like that."

"Sounds promising." Kiyo mumbled sarcastically, only to be hushed by Zatch again.

"Shh, lemme read."

**_Teh bestest fic ever!_**

**_By Omgimsokewl_**

"Omgimsokewl?" Kiyo butted in. "Egotistical much? And I'm just hoping that "teh" is just a typo."

Zatch shrugged.

_**A/N: LOL HI THERE!1111**_

"What's with all the ones?" Kiyo asked, raising his brow.

_**DIS IZ MY 1ST FIC! LOL!111**_

"Hold it!" Kiyo yelled. "When did 'this' start getting spelled 'd-i-s' and 'is' start getting spelled 'i-z'?"

"I dunno." Zatch shrugged. "Maybe he or she his spelling problems."

_**I RELLY RELLY HOP U LYK IT!11 LOL!1 I NO ITS GONNA BE REEL GOOD!1 LOLOL!1 CAUS IM A REEL GOOD RITER!111 LOL!111 ON WIT DA FIC!1111**_

Kiyo's eye twitched.

_**Ther once was a relly kewl momodo named Zack.**_

"Does it mean me?" Zatch asked. "Cause it's Zatch, not Zack!"

_**zack had a relly-**_

"IT'S ZATCH!"

_**-hawt reeder named keeo.**_

"WHAT?" Kiyo cried out, jumping up from his chair and knocking it to the floor. "That is NOT how you spell me name. And the person won't even use caps!"

"Hey, at least the person actually got the pronunciation to your name right. He, or she, keeps calling me Zack."

_**keeo waz zacks book reeder caus zack had reel kewl spels dat cam from dat reeel kewl awsum fun wickd book. it waz soooooooooooo kewl!111 lol! keeo and zack woud go fite bad guys, cus dey wer kewl lyk dat. dey-**_

"Caps please!" Kiyo yelled. Zatch glared.

"Stop interrupting! You're ruining it."

"RUINING IT!" Kiyo shrieked, causing Zatch to nearly fall out of his chair. "Can it really get any worse?"

"Um... well... no..."

_**kickd total ass all da tym and dat was soooooooo kewl!111 lol!11 :) 1 day kancomay falgare megumee teea suzi and ponygone all cam over 2 dere house. Ponygone said hey dis is kewl we get 2 see ech other (a/n: lol!1 im translating ponys noises 2 englesh!1)**_

"God," Kiyo moaned, holding his head. "first of all, this person keeps spelling all the names wrong, secondly, this person didn't even bother to use quotation marks, and thirdly, THIS PERSON CAN'T EVEN SPELL ENGLISH RIGHT!"

_**yEah i no said kancomay who was eeting candi and geting fater and fater cus he waz greedi and werd.**_

"Although," Kiyo added, smirking. "I'm not gonna criticize that."

_**dey had a relly fun tym wen dis meen ugli momodo crashd thru da hous and tryd 2 kil dem al! omg!11 dey were rellly relly relly relly scard but they were supor bad ass 2 so dey kickd the meen momodos butt rEel hard and burnt his stoopid ugli meeny book!1 ya!111 lol!111**_

"That's it?" Zatch exclaimed, his mouth hanging open. "That's all? Barely even a paragraph to tell of the fight. Come on! They couldn't even say what spells we used to beat this mamodo, or who the reader was? Man! And what the hell does 'lol' mean?"

_**dey cheeerd anf had a reel kewl parti to celibrat the deth of the meeny momodo. it was soooo much fun!111 lololol!**_

"You don't kill mamodo's when you burn their book." Kiyo interrupted, glaring. "This person knows nothing about mamodos."

**_day wer al happi!1111 __da end!_**

_**LOL! WELL THATS IT! I reelly hopd u lykd it!11 and i no you did!1 lol!1 luv ya all!11**_

Kiyo and Zatch stared blackly at the screen for a few minutes. They blinked.

"Well," Kiyo finally said calmly, breaking the awkward silence. "I'm gonna be truthful. That was the most horrible piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes upon."

Zatch cringed and squirmed slightly.

"That was just one story. Maybe the others will be better." He said quietly, trying to look cheerful but not doing a very good job of it. Kiyo just shook his head. Zatch cringed again and turned his head back to the computer.

Suddenly, a small ring was heard from downstars, causing Kiyo to turn his head towards the door.

"Someone's here already." Kiyo sighed standing up, slightly relieved to be able to get away from that fanfiction from hell. "Try and find a better story then that crap, please!"

"Sure thing, Kiyo." Zatch nodded. "I'll find something REAL good."

"I sure hope so." Kiyo muttered as he left the room. "I really do."


	3. The Mary Sue part 1

**I don't own- ah screw this crap! Do I really have to say this in every chapter?**

* * *

"There has to be something good here." Zatch murmured to himself as cursored down the screen. " What are some of the fics here?... 'Zatch and Friends'? Nah, too kiddish sounding. 'Mamodo's are Cool'? Well duh! 'A Pretty New Member'? Hmmm, that might be good."

Zatch clicked it.

**_Summary: A cute, tough, hot new mamodo girl comes and joins the gang._**

"Hey Kiyo! I think I found something!"

"Coming!" Kiyo yelled back as he climbed up the stairs, followed by a teen girl and her mamodo.

"Oh, hi Tia. Hi Megumi." Zatch said to the pop star, Megumi, and her pink haired mamodo, Tia. Both girls smiled at him and sat down.

"So, what have we got here?" Megumi asked in her usual kind tone. "Kiyo said something about fanfiction with characters that have the same names as us or something?"

"Not just the same names." Zatch said. "They ARE us."

Kiyo shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin.

"I still say it's only a coine-"

"Oh puuh-lease!" Zatch butted in. "That's what you said before. Don't you at least think it's somewhat weird that all the characters have the same name as us?"

Kiyo didn't know what to say.

"Well, it should be interesting none the less." Megumi nodded. "Now Zatch, what are you reading now?"

"Something called 'A Pretty New Member'."

"Hopefully it's better then the last one." Kiyo mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets. Megumi looked at him.

"That bad?"

"Lemme put it this way, my eyes still hurt."

"Oh."

"I wanna see!" Tia exclaimed, ignoring the two teenagers as she pushed Zatch over so she could get a better view of the screen. "Read it already."

"Sure thing."

**_A Pretty New Member_**

**_By Kiyostrueluver_**

"Kiyo..." Megumi began, eyeing him strangely. "Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?"

"I-I don't!" He answered, his eyes shifting uneasily. Thank goodness Suzy wasn't here to see this.

**_Once upon a time there was a beautiful mamodo girl named Beautifulica._**

"Beautifulica?" Megumi said, staring at the screen with slight disgust. "I'm pretty sure that nobody, not even a mamodo, is named that."

**_Beautifulica was the prettest mamodo ever. She had a perfect hawt hour glass shaped body with big DD breasts and lean but very toned legs and a hawt tight purple shirt that showed off her stunning chest and a blue jean mini skirt that showed off her hawt butt and sexy body. She had pale (but not too pale) skin and a round face with full, red lips and a cute little mole right over her lip. Her hair was long and golden with a blue streak down the back and eyes that were perfect round oval shaped orbs that changed color with her mood but they were usually rainbow because that's beautiful and unique._**

Tia gagged.

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life!" She stated, standing up as though she was saying something of great importance. "I don't even know if anyone's eyes can even do that!"

"And what the hell does she mean by perfect round ovals?" Said Kiyo with disgust at the lack of logic. "They can't be both round AND oval. Make up your mind."

They were simply hushed by Zatch and Megumi.

**_She also had every guy (both human and mamodo) after her cause she was soooooooooooo-_**

"We get it already!" Kiyo yelled, flinging his arms in the air.

**_beautiful. She always let them look at her though cause she was really kind. _**

"Gee, how thoughtful." Megumi added sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

**_She had had a bad life though. Everyone in the mamodo world always beat up on her because they were jealous of her great beauty. Thinking about that made her very sad (her eyes changed to blue). It wasn't fair, it's not like she asked to be beautiful and perfect._**

"Yeah, it must be such a hardship." Megumi mumbled, clutching the sides of her chair with anger.

"Wait," Kiyo added. "If every guy chases after her then how can everyone, including the guys, also beat up on her. This story makes no sense."

**_She was now on planet earth and was trying to find her reader. Suddenly it started raining a cold rain. She shivered, she knew she had to get out of it or else she might get really sick._**

"Now, now," Megumi started, grinning. "I wouldn't worry. Stay in the rain longer and get sick and di- I mean get nice and clean. Rain water is good for perfect golden hair that I'd just love to grab and rip-"

The other three stared at her. She coughed.

"Sorry, I guess I was getting a little too caught up. Continue."

**_She wrapped her arms around her sexy body and ran. Soon she saw a house. She ran up the steps and rang the doorbell._**

**_"Coming." Said the sexy voice of none other then Kiyo. He opened the door to find Beautifulica at his door step, dripping wet and shivering in the cold. He stared at her, transfixed with her beauty. _**

**_"She's so pretty." Kiyo thought. "So much better looking then plain looking Megumi."_**

"PLAIN LOOKING!" Megumi shrieked, jumping up from her chair and slapping the shocked Kiyo across the face. "WELL I NEVER!"

Tia stared up at her reader in awe

"Wow Megumi, I didn't know you had it in you."

"Me nether." Kiyo added quietly, rubbing his now brused cheek.

**_"Help me..." Beautifulica managed to say before fainting into his sexy arms._**

"Maybe she's dead." Tia said optimistically. Megumi just clenched her teeth.

"Hey Megumi," Began Zatch. "What's wrong with your teeth? You're starting to look like Naomi..."

"Just read the damn story!"

**_"Oh no!" Kiyo cried. "You poor thing. Don't worry, I'll protect you."_**

**_Kiyo picked up the poor, beautiful, sexy, hot, cute, gorgeous, pretty, sweet, foxy-_**

"Alright already!" Megumi banged her head against the desk. "Is there anymore words to discribe how beautiful she is?"

**_Mamodo girl and carried her to his room. He put her on his bed and stared at her._**

**_"Is she dead?"_**

Tia and Megumi's faces brightened up.

**_But then she moved and moaned._**

Their cheerful look soon disappeared.

**_"Oh thank goodness." Kiyo said, holding her in his arms. She moaned again and opened her eyes._**

**_"W-where am I?" She said in her sexy cute voice._**

**_"Safe." He replied, hugging her tighter. "What's your name?"_**

**_"Beautifulica."_**

**_"Beautifulica." Kiyo thought. "What a beautiful name. I love it."_**

"No! It's a horrible, vile name! And I do not love it."

**_"I'm Kiyo by the way."_**

**_Beautifulica nodded then shivered slightly. Kiyo saw that and wrapped a blanket around her._**

**_"Where did you come from?"_**

**_"I- well, you just wouldn't understand."_**

**_Kiyo cocked his head back, wondering what she meant. _**

"She makes me sound like a moron!" Kiyo groaned.

**_Then he saw the book. He gasped._**

**_"You're a mamodo?_**

**_She cringed._**

**_"Y-yeah. But I don't have a reader yet."_**

**_"Don't worry," Kiyo cooed, stroking her cheek-_**

The real Kiyo felt ready to throw up.

**_"I'll help you find your reader. I have a mamodo myself. See, there's my book right there." He said pointing to his book on the desk._**

"Why the hell would I tell some random mamodo I just met, who could be an enemy, that I have a mamodo myself AND THEN point out where our book is?" Kiyo asked out loud. "Yeah, that's one way to get your book burned faster."

**_Beautifulica smiled. She felt better. Suddenly the door to Kiyo's room flew open. In came a little mamodo (Zatch). The twerpy-_**

"I'm not that small!" Zatch exclaimed. The group snickered slightly.

**_mamodo stared at Beautifulica in awe._**

**_"Wow," The shrimpy-_**

"I'M NOT THAT SMALL!"

**_kid thought. "She's the most beautiful girl ever."_**

**_Kiyo noticed the way Zatch was looking at her and he glared at the younger boy, as though to say "she's mine, stay away from her"._**

"You can have her." Zatch said laughing. Kiyo gagged.

**_"Who's this?" Zatch asked, still eyeing the gorgeous mamodo girl._**

Tia looked about ready to kill someone.

**_"This is Beautifulica." Kiyo replied, still giving Zatch that look. "Beautifulica, this is Zatch."_**

**_"It's nice to meet you." Beautifulica said as she shook Zatch's hand. Zatch blushed red. She was sooooooooo hot! If he had to pick between Beautifulica and Tia, he would pick Beautifulica and leave bitchy not-really-very-pretty-kinda-ugly stupid Tia in the dust._**

"Oh cra-" Zatch barely managed to utter before he felt two strong hands wrapped tightly around his neck.

"OOOOH YOU BRAT!" Tia shrieked as she strangled the poor frightened mamodo boy. "HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!"

"Tia... -cough- it's not me... -gag- it's the story... -wheez- please let go... -gasp- of... -hack- my neck... -choke-"

"Maybe I should read." Kiyo interupted while trying to break apart the two children.

"Good idea." Megumi replied, grabbing the kicking and screaming Tia.

**_"Zatch, Beautifulica is very weak right now. Maybe you should leave." Kiyo ordered._**

**_"But I-"_**

**_"Now Zatch."_**

**_Zatch sighed and left the room. He hoped he would be able to get a chance alone with Beautifulica soon._**

**_Back in Kiyo's room Kiyo was still holding the weak girl close._**

**_"How are you feeling?" He asked. She smiled. He was soooooooo cute when he was thoughful of others._**

**_"I'm better now thanx." She said. Suddenly, the horrible happened. A giant creature crashed through Kiyo's window. Kiyo screamed like a girl._**

The group (except Kiyo) burst out laughing. Kiyo glared.

"Shut up! I don't scream like a girl!"

**_"No." Thought Beautifulica as she stared at the creature in horror. "It can't be. He followed me here."_**

**_The mean, ugly creature laughed evily as he stared down at Beautifulica._**

**_"I've finally found you." The horrid creature said in a deep voice. "Now I'm going to kill you."_**

"Kill her. Eat her." Megumi and Tia both chanted quietly to themselves.

**_"Not if I can help it!" Kiyo cried out, standing in front of her to protect her._**

The two girls glared at Kiyo.

"You just had to ruin it," Megumi said. "didn't you?"

Kiyo hid his face in his hands.

**_"ZATCH!" He called for his mamodo. The evil creature simply threw Kiyo out of the way and went up to Beautifulica._**

**_"Noooo!" Kiyo screamed as the evil thing grabbed Beautifulica. She was the only girl he ever loved._**

"I'VE BARELY KNOWN HER FOR 5 MINUTES! HOW THE HELL CAN I LOVE HER?"

**_Beautifulica could feel her anger boiling up (her eyes turned red). She couldn't take it anymore._**

**_"I-told-you-to-leave-me-ALONE!" She shrieked as a blinding light came from her body._****_ The creature roared in anger as it got burned. He dropped her and she fell screaming._**

The group cheered.

**_Luckily Kiyo caught her._**

The group groaned.

**_"I'll get you for this Beautifulica!" The creature cursed. Then it disappeared._**

**_Beautifulica was feeling weak again. Kiyo held her close._**

**_"I'm sorry..." She managed to whisper beforing passing out-_**

"She likes to faint a lot, doesn't she?" Megumi pointed out.

**_into Kiyo's arms._**

**_End of chapter one_**

"What?" Megumi shouted. "There's more?"

"I, uh, guess so." Kiyo answered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So, should we read the rest?" Zatch asked, taking the mouse and getting ready to click the next chapter.

"No way!" Kiyo shouted, trying to grab the mouse away from the child. "There is no way I'm going through more of this sh-"

"Actually," Megumi interupted hesitantly. "I think we should read more."

"What!" Kiyo yelled, his mouth hanging open. "But I thought you hated this story."

"Well, yeah, I do. But I also kinda wanna see what happens next. Like," Megumi added with a grin. "if she dies or not."

"Fine." Kiyo agreed grudgingly. "But I better not get slapped across the face again."

"Deal."

And so, Zatch clicked the next chapter.


	4. The Mary Sue part 2

A/N: Thanks for the reviews people. :) I'm glad some people like me crappy fics. XD I own nothing.

* * *

**_A/N: OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!? Everyone's flaming me!!_**

"Gee, I wonder why?" Megumi groaned sarcastically.

**_WTF's a Mary-Sue?! God!!! Oh well, on with the fic._**

"I can barely contain me excitement." Megumi sighed, resting her head on her hand.

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to read the next chapter in the first place." Kiyo pointed out.

**_Kiyo stared down at the lifeless form of Beautifulica._**

The two girls cheered.

"Yes!" Tia exclaimed. "She's dead! Yahoo!"

**_Kiyo started crying. _**

**_"Beautifulica!!" He screamed, still holding her in his arms. "Don't die!!!"_**

**_His tears fell on her body. Suddenly, she moved._**

"NOOOOOO!!!" Tia shrieked, falling to her knees. "WHY?!"

**_"Beautifulica!" Kiyo yelled, hugging her. "You're alive."_**

**_"Of course I'm alive." She said, standing up. Her legs felt weak and she fell into Kiyo's lap. She blushed and smiled sexily when she felt something hard between his legs (if ya know what I mean. Lol ;D)._**

"Uh, yeah," Megumi interrupted, blushing. "we know what you mean.""

Kiyo felt like dying right at that moment.

**_Kiyo smiled at her happily and held her close. Then he realized something._**

**_"Beautifulica," He asked, staring into her perfect eyes (which were purple with happiness). "what was with that light that came from your body?"_**

"Like I really care." Kiyo murmured.

**_She bit her lip and turned away._**

**_"I-I don't know if I should tell you."_**

**_"Of course you can tell me." He said, brushing her perfect beautiful golden hair out of her face._**

**_"Well... okay. I'm not a normal mamodo. I have strange powers that don't even come from my book. When I'm really angry I can make light come out of my body."_**

"Oh you've got to be kidding me..." Megumi moaned.

**_A tear rolled out of her gorgeous eyes and down her perfect round face. "It's a curse though."_**

**_Kiyo wiped the tear from her eye._**

**_"No, it's not." He said. "It's amazing and it saved your- and my- life."_**

"Gee, what would I ever do without Beautifulica?" Kiyo sighed as he rolled his eyes.

**_"There's more though." She sighed. "I should tell you. I'm-I'm... immortal."_**

"WHAT!!?" Tia and Megumi shrieked in unison.

**_Kiyo's eyes widened._**

**_"Wow." He breathed. "That's amazing."_**

**_She looked at him, surprised._**

**_"You-you think so?"_**

**_"Of course." He replied. "It's the coolest thing ever."_**

**_She smiled and her eyes changed to pink for happiness._**

"Wait a sec," Megumi interrupted. "I thought purple was happiness."

"This story is ridiculous." Kiyo groaned.

**_Kiyo decided it was time to tell her how he felt._**

**_"Beautifulica... I..." He turned away, blushing. She stroked his cheek sexily._**

**_"What is it Kiyo?"_**

**_"I-I... love you."_**

Kiyo groaned again.

**_He closed his eyes. How could someone as perfect and beautiful as Beautifulica love him back? To his surprise, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek._**

**_"I love you too, Kiyo."_**

**_"Really?"_**

**_"Yeah."_**

**_Suddenly, he grabbed her into a passionate kiss. But she pulled away-_**

_"Thank God." _Kiyo thought.

**_and grabbed him and kissed him back even harder and more passionately._**

Kiyo sighed sadly.

_"Nevermind."_

**_Suddenly Kiyo grabbed her and threw her on his bed, unbuttoning her shirt eagerly._**

Megumi twitched.

"Eeew, what are you doing to her?" Zatch and Tia bothed squealed, covering there eyes.

"God, just kill me now." Kiyo whispered, hiding his face in his hands.

**_But Beautifulica stopped him._**

Kiyo sighed in relief.

**_"I'm sorry Kiyo, but I'm not ready."_**

**_Kiyo sighed sadly. He had waited for this moment all his life, but he didn't want to make her do it._**

**_"Okay, I understand." He said glumly._**

**_"I'm glad. Maybe when I 'm ready we can though, okay?"_**

**_Kiyo nodded._**

**_"I hope your ready soon though."_**

"Great, now I sound like a horny bastard."

**_They hugged and made out some more. Then Beautifulica fell asleep in his arms._**

**_End of chapter two._**

"THERE'S EVEN MORE!?" Megumi shrieked. Kiyo shivered with fear.

"Ugh, no way we are reading the next chapter, OKAY?!" Kiyo exclaimed, standing up and pacing back and forth. "Do you know how long it's gonna take me to forget this?"

"Don't worry," Megumi began, grabbing the mouse from Zatch and clicking the back button a couple of times. "There is no way I'm going through anymore of that either. Knowing that she can't die just kinda ruined it for me."

Kiyo sighed and walked back over to the computer.

"Zatch, why don't you let me pick the story now?"

Zatch nodded and stood up, letting Kiyo sit down in the chair.

"Okay, let's see," Kiyo said to himself. "what other stories are there? Hmmm... wait, this one sounds interesting, what do you guys think?"

The group nodded in agreement.

"Anything's better then Beautifulica." Megumi replied.

**CLICK!**


	5. The Horror that is Slash

**A/N: WEEEE!! Thanks people for the reviews! I'm glad you find it funny. I own nothing**

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**_Special Moments_**

**_By SlashIsTheBestThing_**

**_Summary: A certain singer and a mamodo share a special moment. F/K SLASH!!_**

"What's F/K mean?" Zatch asked. "And what's slash?"

Kiyo shrugged.

"I dunno. We'll have to read it to find out."

**_Folgore sat down is his chair and sighed._**

"Folgore?" The group gasped.

**_He had been so depressed lately._**

"Aww," Tia cooed. "what's wrong?"

**_He knew he shouldn't be having these feelings for him, but he did. He was his best friend, but he wished to be more._**

"Him!?" The group gasped.

"You mean Folgore's GAY?!" Tia shrieked. "B-but he chases after girls, he grabs their breasts, how can he be gay?!"

**_But there was such an age difference, there was no way he would return the feelings._**

"Wait," Megumi interrupted. "in the summary it said that a singer and his mamodo shared a special moment. Do you think that means... Oh good God!"

Kiyo shuddered slightly.

"Oh God..." He whispered.

"Uh, uh, w-well, they didn't say it was K-Kanchome." Zatch stuttered. "M-maybe it's a totally different one."

**_At that moment, Kanchome entered the room. Folgore's heart skipped a beat._**

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Megumi groaned, holding her stomach.

**_"H-hi Kanchome." He stuttered, blushing._**

**_"Hi Folgore." The young mamodo replied, sitting down beside him and popping a candy in his mouth. "What are you doing?"_**

"Kanchome has a bill, not a mouth." Zatch pointed out.

**_"Uh, nothing." He turned away, not wanting Kanchome to see the blush._**

**_It had been a quite few years since Folgore found Kanchome. He had grown up a fair bit since then._**

The two teens couldn't help but sigh in relief.

"Well, erm, at least he's not a six year old in this story." Kiyo pointed out.

"But still... ugh..." Megumi added, shaking her head with disapproval.

"Kanchome's a freakin' duck boy!" Tia cried. "How would they... ya know... kiss?"

**_"Wanna watch a movie?" Kanchome asked. Folgore, still blushing, nodded and put a movie in. The two sat close together on the couch._**

The group gagged.

**_Kanchome leaned his head against Folgore._**

The group gagged even more.

**_Folgore sighed. He knew he should tell Kanchome his feelings._**

"NOOO!!" The group shrieked.

**_"Kanchome... I have something to tell you."_**

**_Kanchome looked up._**

**_"Yeah Folgore, what is it?"_**

**_"I-I... maybe I shouldn't tell you."_**

"Yeah, don't tell him!" Megumi pleaded. "Go find a nice woman, not a young boy with a beak."

**_Kanchome placed his hand on Folgore's leg._**

**_"You can tell me."_**

**_Folgore gulped._**

**_"Okay... Kanchome... I... LOVE YOU!! There, you probably hate me now."_**

**_He stood up and turned away. To his surprise, Kanchome stood up and placed his hand on his shoulder._**

**_"No, I don't hate you." He said, looking into his eyes. "In fact, I have feelings for you too."_**

"WHAT!!?" The group cried.

**_Folgore gasped._**

**_"Really?"_**

**_"Yeah, but I was afraid to tell you cause I thought you didn't feel that way about me. But now I know."_**

**_Folgore smiled and they grabbed each other into a big k-_**

"STOP!!" Zatch, Megumi, and Tia screamed in unison.

"Gladly." Kiyo sighed, clicking the back button. "God! Is there anything good in this site?"

"Let me find something." Tia said, pushing Kiyo out of the way. "I'll find something good."

"I hope so." Megumi murmured. "We're having no luck so far."

Tia nodded in agreement and scanned the site for a few moments.

"How about this one?" Tia asked, pointing at a title. "It's called 'A Strange Pair' and it doesn't say slash on it."

"Good." The other three sighed.

"Go ahead, Tia." Megumi said. "Let's read this one."

**CLICK**

Too bad they didn't know what they were getting themselves into.


	6. It's Crack Pairing Time!

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys. And yeah, I'll try and tone Zatch down a little bit. I own nothing**

* * *

"So, who'll read?" Tia asked, jumping off from the chair. The other three stared at her.

"But," Zatch began. "I thought you were reading."

Tia laughed.

"The wouldn't be a good idea." She replied. "If it's horrible again, I don't wanna have to bare to lay my eyes on it."

"But it might be good." Zatch protested.

"Maybe, but I'm still not taking that chance." Tia crossed her arms stubbornly. "Sorry."

Kiyo groaned and rubbed his temple.

"Well someone has to read it." Kiyo muttered. "It's not gonna be me though, I've read enough crappy stories already."

The two children looked at each other.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Zatch challenged. Tia grinned.

"Oh, you are so on."

The two kids stuck out their wrists and began shaking them in the air.

"Rock, paper, scissors." Zatch chanted. Zatch got rock, Tia got paper.

"Ha, paper beats rock!" Tia boasted. "Now you have to read."

"No fair!" He whined. "You cheated."

"Did not!"

"Yeah ya did!"

"JUST READ IT ALREADY!" Megumi and Kiyo screamed in unison. The two kids jumped.

"Okay, okay." Zatch said calmly, sitting down. " How about we take turns?"

Tia hesitated.

"Fine, but you go first."

**_A Strange Pair_**

**_By CrackPairingsRock_**

**_Summary: Two certain people admit their feelings for each other. CRACK PAIRING!_**

"What's a crack pairing?" Zatch asked Kiyo.

"Again, I don't know." He answered, sighing, already knowing it was probably something horrid and vile.

"Ohh, maybe it's a pairing that smoke crack together!" Tia squealed. Megumi gave her a look.

"And how do you know what crack is?" Megumi asked, still eyeing her.

"Um..."

Megumi groaned and smacked her forehead.

"Okay, no more late night TV for you!"

"What's crack?" Zatch asked. Kiyo moaned.

"Okay," Kiyo began, twitching slightly. "can we stop talking about drugs for-"

"Drugs?" Zatch cocked his head back. "But I thought we we're talking about crack, right?... Kiyo...uh, Kiyo?... Doesn't it hurt to bang your head against that wall?..."

"CAN WE JUST READ THE FREAKIN' STORY!"

**_Tia leaned against the wall._**

"Alright!" Tia yelled, clapping her hands gleefully. "I'm the star.

**_She knew he would be coming down this hall in a few minutes._**

"Great," Kiyo moaned. "Another story where it doesn't tell who this person is until later."

**_His concert would be over soon._**

Megumi's eyes widened.

"Oh God, they don't mean _him _again?"

Tia twitched.

**_"Oh where is he?" Tia thought. "I hope he comes soon."_**

**_Then there he was. Parco Folgore-_**

"NOT AGAIN!" Shrieked Megumi. Meanwhile, Zatch was grinning a Tia.

"Well, well, well." He smirked. "Guess it's your turn to read now."

"Uh, uh.."

"We had a deal, 'member?"

"...Agh, fine!"

**_in all his manly goodness. Tia blushed and waved a hand at him._**

**_"Hi Folgore!" She yelled waving at him. He jumped._**

**_"Tia, what are you doing here?" He asked. For a moment, Tia could swear he was blushing._**

"I-Will-Kill-Him..." Megumi hissed, clenching her fists. Tia just stared at the screen. She was too shocked to say or do anything. Zatch chuckled evilly, took the mouse from her hand and continued reading where she left off.

_"Revenge."_ He thought, grinning.

**_"I've been waiting for you." She said, placing her hand on his leg._**

"Speak of the devil." Kiyo said, turning towards the door as he heard someone coming up the stairs. "I think he's here."

**_Folgore placed his hand on her head._**

**_"That means a lot to me, Tia."_**

"I'LL GET HIM!" Megumi shrieked, running to the door as it began to open.

**_Folgore picked her up and hugged her._**

**_"Folgore, you mean the world to me." She cooed. "Please be my boyfriend."_**

**_Folgore smiled. He knew what to say._**

"OOOH YOU PERVERT!" Megumi shrieked, smacking the shocked man across the face as he walked in.

"What'a did I do?" Folgore sobbed, rubbing his face. Kanchome just stared.

"This!" She yelled, pointing to the computer. Folgore walked over. He grinned when he saw the familar web site.

"Oh, you'a goin' on Fanfiction dot Net?" He asked, his eyes gleaming. Kiyo turned to look at him.

"You know of this site?" Kiyo asked.

"Yeah, I have an account." Folgore nodded, grinning. "It'a has some good writers here."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Kanchome squealed, squeezing himself between the other two mamodo children. "He writes lots of cool awesome stories here. Mostly for Star Trek though, right Folgore? He likes to put on those weird pointy ears before he writes though and-"

Folgore smacked his hand over Kanchome's bill. Kiyo snickered.

"You're a Trekkie?"

Folgore sweatdropped.

"-cough- Uh, maybe this'a isn't the best'a time to talk about this."

Kiyo grinned.

"So," Kiyo changed the subject. "you've been going on this site and haven't even noticed that there's a category about us here?"

Folgore shrugged.

"Eh, I don't'a go in the Anime and Manga section."

Kiyo pondered how he knew they were in the anime section when he hadn't even told him in the first place

"Whatever," Kiyo finally answered, shaking his head. "you're not missing much. We can't seem to find anything good here."

"Why? What'a is wrong."

"Well, first of all," Began Zatch. "We found this story that didn't even spell our names right, let alone every other word."

"Ah, that'a would'a be something written by the common troll. It'a likely wasn't serious."

"Then we found this story with this incredibly perfect sickeningly sweet immortal girl." Megumi hissed, clenching her fists at the thought of the bitch.

"That'a would'a be the infamous Mary-Sue."

"Then there was this one where you and Kanchome were having a sexual relationship." Kiyo added, holding back a laugh. Folgore paused, letting that sink in. He shuttered. Kanchome twitched.

"Ugh, that'a would'a be slash, malemale pairings."

"You wouldn't actually..." Kanchome began, squirming rather uncomfortably.

"NO!" Folgore screamed, grabbing his mamodo's shoulders and shaking some sense into him. "You'a think I'm a pedophile or something?"

"This story we're reading here sure makes you look like one." Megumi stated, still glaring at him. Folgore leaned over her, reading through it. He shuttered again.

"Ugh, uh, that'a would'a be a crack pairing. A pairing that would never EVER happen." He reassured Megumi. "EVER!"

Meanwhile, Zatch was still looking through the story, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"Shall I read more out loud?" he asked, still grinning.

"NO!" Shrieked Tia, finally coming out of her shock and grabbing his neck. "Read more and you DIE!"

Zatch gulped, turned back around, and pressed the back button.

"There, there kids." Folgore said, patting them on the heads. "I'll'a find something good."

Zatch nodded and gave Folgore the chair.

"Let'a me do the work'a now'a." He grinned. Kiyo sighed.

_"What our we getting ourselves into now?" _Kiyo thought, resting his head in his hand.


	7. OH SHIZ! LEMONS!

**A/N: If you haven't noticed the chapter title, this chapter is, indeed, lemons. Seeing as I want to keep this T rated at the most, though, I won't actually write the whole thing. I don't own Zatch Bell.**

* * *

"Found something!" Folgore stated, closing his eyes and grinning triumphantly. "No'a need to thank'a me."

Kiyo shook his head. They had gone through a troll fic, an overly perfect bitch, slash, and a crack pairing (which doubled for pedophilia). Could this story actually be any worse then the others?

"What's it called?" Kiyo sighed, not even bothering to look at the screen.

"Lovin' in the Room." Folgore replied. "Sounds alright. Doesn't say anything about'a crack pairings."

**_Lovin' in the Room_**

**_By Lemonsrockmehsocks_**

**_Summary: Suzy and Kiyo admit their feelings for each other._**

Kiyo nearly choked on air (if that was possible).

"Me... and Suzy... together?"

"Maybe we shouldn't read this..." Megumi began, edging towards the mouse and grabbing it away from Folgore. "Maybe this isn't the best thing-"

Suddenly, they heard it. That all too familar scream. That annoying voice.

"KIIIIIYO! I'M HERE!" The shrill shriek of Suzy rang throughout the house.

"Oh, God..." Kiyo whispered. "Quickly! Click the back button, NOW!"

"I-I can't!" Megumi stuttered, clicking wildly at the mouse. "The mouse is frozen."

"What?" Kiyo cried, pushing Folgore and Megumi over and grabbing the mouse. "Why now? WHY?"

**WHAM!**

The door flew open.

"Kiyo! I've come to visit you!" Suzy squealed excitedly, skipping into his room. "What are you doing?"

She turned her head towards Megumi.

"What the..." she looked over to Kiyo, then back to Megumi. "You're... you're..."

Megumi gave her a patient smile and stood up. "Megumi. Hi. Are you a fan?"

"I knew it!" Suzy screamed, hiding her face in hands. Megumi shrugged and sat back down. "You are seeing her!"

"What?" Kiyo exclaimed, looking around nervously. "No. No!"

"And is that..." Suzy continued, now staring at Folgore. "Oh my God! It is!"

"Why don't you just sit over here." Kiyo offered, pushing her towards a corner, far away from the computer and the celebrities.

"Hi Suzy!" Zatch yelled, waving his hand at her, finally able to get a word in edge-wise. "We're reading fanfiction."

"Really?" She answered, walking over and leaning over Megumi. "What are you reading now?"

"It's-it's nothing Suzy." Kiyo replied, frantically clicking at the mouse while glaring at Zatch. "It's j-just some stupid story."

"Really? Can I read through it?" Suzy asked, approaching Kiyo.

"No!" Kiyo yelled, trying to cover up the screen with his hands. "You wouldn't like. It's stupid. It's boring. It's-"

"About you and Kiyo as a couple!" Zatch yelled, grinning happily. "Isn't that sweet?"

Kiyo felt like grabbing his mamodo's neck at that moment.

"Oh Kiyo!" Suzy squealed, grabbing the poor boy into a hug. "How sweet of you."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Oh don't play dumb, obviously you've been working on this story for awhile and didn't want me to see it yet." She cooed, pinching his cheeks playfully. "No wonder you're always in your room."

"Huh? But I didn't write i-"

"Shh, no need to explain." She hushed him, stroking his face. "I know how much this must've meant to you and how much time it must have taken you to write this."

Kiyo's eye twitched.

"Um, yeah." He sighed, not even bothering to argue. "But unfortunately, the computers not working right and we'll have to exit."

"Why, what's wrong."

"Oh the mouse just won't wor-"

"I can fix that!" Suzy cried, shoving the surprised Kiyo out of the way and diving under the desk.

"Um, don't worry Suzy," Kiyo began, shaking violently. "w-we can always go back to it la-"

"GOT IT!" She yelled, jumping up in the air. Kiyo's jaw dropped.

"B-but," He stammered, teeth chattering. "you don't know anything about computers."

"Yeah," She replied, sighing. "but I do know when a mouse is just unplugged."

The room went deadly silent.

"Well," Suzy continued cheerfully, breaking the awkwardness and sitting down in the chair. "now that I'm in this chair, I might as while read."

"NOO!" Kiyo shrieked, trying to push the young girl out of the chair. "Please no!"

No use, she was reading it and that was that.

**_Warning: Extreme lemons!_**

"Um, uh oh..." Folgore whispered, sweatdropping. Kiyo looked at him.

"What is it?" Kiyo groaned, almost afraid to ask.

"Uh, well, let's just say the kids shouldn't be here'a."

"Okay guys," Megumi sighed, pushing the three six year olds out the door. "let's go."

"But I wanna see!" Kanchome whined, followed by the other two.

"Not happening." Megumi replied, closing and locking the door on them. Suzie cleared her throat.

"Can I PLEASE read now?" Suzy asked impatiently, placing her one hand on her hip.

"Yes... fine... go ahead." Kiyo sighed, pretty much giving up on stopping her. She grinned and read the story

**_Kiyo watched the clock closely. Suzy should be here soon, he just knew it. It was finally time for him to tell her his feelings._**

_"This is almost as bad as the Beautifulica." _Kiyo thought miserably.

**_"Kiyo, I'm here." Suzy said quietly, knocking at Kiyo's door._**

"When did you start knocking?" Kiyo asked almost jokingly. Suzy ignored him and continued reading.

**_"Hi Suzy." He said calmly, walking over to her. "I'm glad you're here."_**

**_"What's wrong?" She said, walking over and placing her hand on his shoulder._**

**_"Nothing." He replied, looking at his feet. "It's just... I have something to tell you."_**

"Help me." Kiyo squeeked.

**_"What?" Suzy edged closer to him._**

**_"Suzy," He began, grabbing her arms. "We've been friends for so long, it's just..." He stopped._**

**_"What?" She patted his cheek._**

**_"It's just... I feel like we should be more."_**

**_Suzy gasped._**

**_"Really?"_**

**_"Yeah. You see Suzy, I've always loved you, and I thought now would be a great time to tell you._**

**_"Wow, Kiyo... I can't believe this."_**

**_Kiyo sighed and looked away._**

**_"Do you hate me now?"_**

**_Suzy smiled and hugged him._**

**_"Of course not Kiyo." She sighed. "In fact, I've always had a crush on you."_**

**_Kiyo gasped._**

**_"R-really?"_**

"Oh man," Kiyo groaned sarcastically. "I'm sooo shocked."

**_"Of course." She said as she grabbed him into a kiss. _**

Kiyo sobbed.

**_They made out for a good two minutes. Then, Kiyo did it. He grabbed her and threw her on his bed._**

"I think I'm figuring out what a lemon story is." Megumi muttered.

**_He started tearing at her clothes._**

"Oooh, Kiyo!" Suzy swooned, hugging the sobbing boy tightly. "I didn't know you cared so much."

**_After he had gotten her underwear and bra off he started taking off his clothes._**

**_"Oh Kiyo..." Suzy sighed right before he put-_**

_THUMP!_

"Kiyo! Kiyo! Are you alright?" Suzy shrieked as she kneeled beside the past out boy.

"Me... and Suzy... having sex?... Oh God..." Kiyo managed to choke out.

Suzy sighed and stroked his cheek.

"Wow!" The sudden voice Kanchome rang through the room. "You managed to almost get two girls into bed altogether. You're so lucky!"

"What?" Kiyo cried, sitting up suddenly. "First of all, how did you get back in here? Second of all, how do you know about Beautifulica?"

"I picked the lock and Zatch told me."

Kiyo groaned. Folgore put his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Two girls eh? You'a make'a me proud."

"Okay, that's it!" Kiyo screamed, jumping up from the floor suddenly. "I am getting out of this site!"

He edged his hand towards the mouse when Suzy grabbed it away.

"No wait!" She yelled, covering the mouse with her hands. "I haven't gotten to see your site yet."

"My site? You thin-nevermind. Too bad, I'VE had enough." Kiyo replied, grabbing at the mouse. She pulled it away.

"Oh Kiyo, I know you maybe don't view this as your best work, but I'm sure your other stuff is better."

"What? My stuff? You still think I wrote th-oh screw it! No, trust me, nothing good will come of these."

"Oh, please please plllleeeaasssse!" She cried, making a little pouty face. "It'd mean soooo much to me."

Kiyo stared at her for a moment. He groaned and pulled his hand away.

"Fine, just stop whining."

"Yay!" She squealed, clapping her hands childishly. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Kiyo groaned.

**CLICK!**


	8. Angst

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. :) And to any KiyoSuzy fans who read the last chapter, I hope you don't think I'm hating on the pairing. I don't mind it, I think it's rather cute actually. It's not one of my all-time favorite pairings, but I have nothing against it. :P Anyway, enjoy the nest chapter. I own nothing.**

* * *

"What do you guys think of this one?" Suzy asked, pointing to the computer screen.

**Darkness**

**By EmoAllTheWay666**

**Summary: Well... what can I say? A sad Zatch Bell tale.**

Kiyo lifted his head.

"Darkness?" He said, raising his brow. "Sounds kinda... depressing."

"Oh, well." Suzy replied cheerfully. "I've always loved a good drama, and I'm sure you write drama brilliantly Kiyo!"

Kiyo sighed. If the user name (which was different from the last) didn't dawn on her, he wasn't even going to try to explain things about this site to Suzy.

"Can't wait." Megumi mumbled, sighing. The children, on the other hand, were grinning happily as they walked back into the room.

**_"Another day." Kiyo sighed as he stared out his window. "Big freakin' deal."_**

**_He walked over to his desk. He stared at that knife. It was so tempting to pick it up and put it to his wrist, to end it all,_****_- _**

Kiyo coughed.

"Wait, what? When did I start cutting myself?"

Zatch put his hand on the teen's shoulder.

"Oh Kiyo, why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I don't!"

**_but no, he wouldn't do it. He need to stay alive, for Zatch at least._**

"You know Kiyo," Zatch began. "there are doctors that you can talk to about your problem."

"But I don't cut myself!"

**_That moment, Zatch walked in._**

**_"Hi Kiyo." He said sadly, sitting down. He was still grieving over his friends, Kanchome and Tia, who recently got their books burned._**

"WHAT?" Tia, Kanchome, Folgore, and Megumi shrieked in unison. Suzy's brow furrowed.

"Why would having a book burned be so upsetting? You could always just get a new one."

The rest of the group sweatdropped.

"Uh... well..." Kiyo stammered. "You see... in this story... Kanchome and Tia go to... another world when they have an important book burnt. But it's totally fantasy! Ye... yeah! There's no way something like that would be true. Yeah... Oh, and if you happen to see the word 'mamodo' in a story, that... that means it's a fantasy too. Yeah... yeah that works..."

There was no way in hell Kiyo was going to try to explain the Mamodo Battle to Suzy. However, his B.S. (yet still somewhat true) story seemed to satisfy the simple-minded Suzy.

"Oh." Said Suzy, smiling innocently. "Well in that case, calm down guys. It's only a story."

"Yeah, try telling that to Zatch." Kiyo muttered as Zatch eyed him suspiciously.

"Kiyo, you really need to tell someone about your cutting problem." Zatch said casually.

"I DON'T HAVE A FRIGGIN' CUTTING PROBLEM!"

"...There is Dr. Phil you know..."

"ARGH!"

**_"Hi Kiyo." He siad sadly, sitting beside the teen. "I have some bad news."_**

**_Kiyo frowned._**

**_"What is it."_**

**_"Megumi... she... she... committed suicide. She hanged herself."_**

"W-WHAT?" Megumi shouted, knocking her chair over. "Why on earth would I ever even THINK of doing that?"

Tia stared at her.

"Megumi... you wouldn't really... would you?..."

"NO!"

**_"WHAT? NOOO!" Kiyo screamed, falling to his knees. "Why?"_**

**_"Because without Tia, she felt like a nobody."_**

**_Kiyo sobbed. He had loved Megumi with all his heart-_**

"Huh?" Suzy gasped, turning towards Kiyo. "But I thought- I thought..."

Her lips began to quiver. Kiyo gulped

"C-calm down Suzy." Kiyo breathed. "It's just a story like you said, remember?"

"Oh, so you two are a couple?" Megumi asked, eyeing them.

"Huh? What? No!" Kiyo shouted. Suzy gasped again.

"But I thought... I thought..." She sobbed. "I thought you wrote that other story for me and that it meant you wanted-"

"I-I didn't write that story!" The boy stuttered, shaking violently, his eyes darting from one girl, then to the other.

"Maybe I'a should'a read," Folgore said calmly, moving the sobbing girl out of the seat. "and give all of you a chance to get a hold of yourselves."

The children giggled. Kiyo shot them a look.

**_and now she was gone._**

**_"Why?" He screamed to the Heavens."WHY HER? WHY'D YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER?"_**

**_He sobbed into his hands._**

**_"Kiyo..." Zatch said quietly. "Are you okay?..."_**

**_"Get me my knife."_**

**_"Huh? Why?"_**

**_"Just do it!"_**

**_Zatch jumped and grabbed the knife._**

"How conveniently placed." Muttered Kiyo, rolling his eyes

"I wouldn't do that," Zatch stated, crossing his arms. "especially since I know now you have a cutting problem."

"I don't have a - ah screw it, never mind!"

**_"Here." He said, handing Kiyo the knife._**

**_"Thank you Zatch." He sighed as he started to put the the knife to his chest. Zatch gasped._**

**_"What are you doing?"_**

**_"Ending this." Kiyo said. And with that he stabbed the knife into his heart. "Goodbye cruel world. I'll miss you Zatch." He managed to choke out, and he died._**

**_The end_**

Quite a racket started after that.

"Well, that was lame." Tia stated, rolling her eyes. "I knew it would be lame right when I heard my book was burned."

"Kiyo, you must talk to someone." Zatch sighed, shaking his head sadly. "You too Megumi."

"I WOULDN'T COMMIT SUICIDE!" Kiyo and Megumi screamed at the same time.

"Waaah!" Kanchome bawled. "Why'd the big meanies have to burn my book?"

"It's not fair!" Suzy shrieked, still sobbing wildly. "I'm so much better then Megumi!"

"Um, guys." Folgore said. "I think I know what'a this'a was. Guys?"

The racket didn't stop.

"Guys? Guys?"

Still didn't stop.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT'A UP!"

The room went suddenly silent.

"Oh, uh, what is it?" Kiyo asked, sweatdropping.

"This'a is an angst."

"A WHAT? The group cried in unison.

"An angst story. A story that's rather depressing and dark. Like... uh... emo or something."

"Oh." The group said together. Folgore grinned.

"You'a probably don't'a want to read another one of these, do you?"

"NO!"

"Didn't think'a so."

He clicked the back button.

"Let's see what other crap we have'a here."


	9. The Crossover part 1

**A/N: Dang, I guess my update every day streak is over. :( -sigh- Oh well. Anyway, I change the last chapter a bit because, as Gentleman Jirachi pointed out, it was more of an angst story then AU. I apologize if I offended anyone into the whole emo culture, that wasn't my intention**.** I own nothing.**

**P.S., thanks Emma Iveli for the crossover idea :)**

* * *

"How about this'a one?" Folgore asked as he pointed at a title. "It's a crossover."

Kiyo had finally gotten a hold of himself. He was now lolled out on his bed, looking through his history book, paying little attention to Folgore or the the rest of the group. Suzy and Kanchome had finally stopped crying and were sitting silently on either side of Folgore, Megumi and Tia were sitting on the floor, grumbling to themselves about the last story, and Zatch was hiding all the sharp objects.

"What's that?" Kiyo asked.

"It's'a when a person...um... how you say?... Oh, it's when a person writes about two shows, books, movie, or whatever, coming together and, well, meeting."

Kiyo stood up and walked back over to the group.

"Well, as long as I'm not some suicidal kid here," He said, sitting himself down. "I'm cool with it."

**_Zatch's Home for Imaginary Friends_**

**_By FHFIFandZBfan_**

**_Summary: The Zatch bell gang meet the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends gang in this freaky crossover._**

"Oooh, I love that show!" Folgore squealed, clapping girlishly. The group stared at him. His face turned pink.

"Uh, I'a mean... that's a good cartoon." He coughed, blushing.

**_"Come on guys!" Kiyo yelled to his companions as the rain poured down. "We gotta get back."_**

"What were we doing in the rain in the first place?" Kiyo asked, making a confused face.

**_Kiyo ran, followed by Zatch, Megumi, Tia, Folgore, and Kanchome. Thunder struck. Kanchome screamed and hid behind Folgore._**

The group snickered slightly. Kanchome blushed but stayed silent.

**_"It's not safe, dude." Megumi stated._**

"When did I start saying 'dude'?" Megumi questioned, raising her brow slightly.

**_Kiyo nodded._**

**_"You're right, we'll have to find some place to hide out until the rain stops."_**

"Thanks for the info Sir Point-Out-The-Obvious." Zatch giggled. Kiyo shot him a glare.

**_"Hey look!" Zatch yell, pointing to large mansion. "There's a place."_**

**_The group ran towards it. When they finally got to the gate they noticed that it said "FOSTER'S" on it in big letters._**

**_"Who's Foster?" Zatch asked. Kiyo just shrugged his shoulders._**

**_"Maybe he, or she, is a real rich person." Kiyo answered._**

"I don't say 'real' instead of 'really'." Kiyo stated with a cough.

**_They ran up the steps and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later a large rabbit in a tux answered._**

**_"Good day, ladies and gentlemen. How may I be of assistance ?" He said, eyeing the wet group with slight disapproval._**

**_"Cool!" Zatch squealed. "A bunny butler!"_**

"Hey!" Folgore cried, pouting. "They'a stole that'a line from episode 1! And he doesn't wear a tux, it's'a just a suit."

**_"My good man, I will have you know that I am Mr. Herriman, the head of business affairs of this facility, and in no way a butler or any other member of the service trade. Now will you please state your business?"_**

**_Kiyo shot Zatch a look._**

**_"Sorry to bother you," Kiyo said politely. "but we just want somewhere to stay until the rain stops."_**

Don't you think I might be questioning why I'm talking to a giant rodent?" Kiyo asked, blinking. The group shrugged.

**_The rabbit glared._**

**_"This house is not an Inn in anyway, shape, or form and we cannot-"_**

**_"Oh shove it, Fuzz Butt!" Said the voice of a young woman as she walked beside the rabbit. She was tall, had bright red hair that was tied back in a pony-tail, and sported a purple skirt, a white PPG tee-shirt, and a green jacket. Folgore and Kiyo sighed with love._**

Suzy burst out into more tears. Kiyo groaned and slapped his face.

"Must I always be the one to fall in love?" He asked while trying to calm the sobbing teen girl down.

"Well, she'a is a good looking girl." Folgore said, shrugging. "For a cartoon character, that'a is." He added quickly.

**_"Miss Frances!" He cried. "How dare you talk to me-"_**

**_"Yeah, yeah," She muttered, waving her hand in his face. "I can take it from here."_**

**_With a loud "hmph", the rabbit stormed off. The redhead smiled at the group and lead them inside._**

**_"Sorry about Mr. HairyButt there, he seems to think he owns the whole place." She laughed, causing Folgore and Kiyo to blush a bit. "Anyway, you guys can stay here until the rain stops."_**

**_She started to eye the three mamodo children._**

**_"Are these your imaginary friends?" She asked still staring at them._**

**_"Uh, no!" Kiyo yelled, pushing the kids out of the way. "They just have weird taste in clothing. So," He added, trying to change the subject. "you're name is Frances?"_**

**_The girl laughed and sighed._**

**_"Yeah, but it's Frankie to you."_**

**_"Oh, okay." He said, still blushing._**

Kiyo groaned.

**_"Well, while you're here, do you want a tour?"_**

**_The group nodded and Frankie smiled._**

**_"Okay, Foster's was founded in-"_**

**_"Miss Frances! Miss Frances! Your presence is needed on the third floor immediately!" The annoying scream of the rabbit echoed through the intercom._**

**_"I'm busy!" She screamed back in a voice that was oddly loud for her size._**

**_"Miss Frances-"_**

**_"Frankie! Frankie get up here!" The sudden voice of a Europian woman rang through the intercom._**

**_"Argh!" Frankie groaned, stomping her foot. "Sorry, I gonna go tend to her royal highness. But don't worry, I'll get someone else. WILT! TOUR PLEASE! Don't worr, Wilt will take care of you."_**

**_And with that she ran off, leaving the confused group standing there._**

**_"Who's Wilt?" Zatch asked._**

**_"I dunno." Kiyo said shrugging. "Maybe he works here."_**

**_"I hope he's handsome." Tia sighed._**

Tia made a gagging sound.

"Great, now I'm a boy-crazy prep."

**_They waited quietly. Soon, they heard an oddly loud squeaking sound, and it was coming closer and closer..._**

**_SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!_**

**_"Hey there, can I help you?" A sudden cheerful voice said behind them. They turned around and gasped. Standing before them was a dark red creature with a missing arm, a large blue on his chest, spiky cheeks, and two antenna-like eyes (one was rather bent up and broken looking). And, oh my, was he ever tall! _**

"What the hell is it?" Kiyo asked, a look of disgust on his face. Folgore glared at him.

"He'a has a gender you know."

"Yeah, but still... what is he?"

Folgore sighed and shook his head.

"I'a guess the title "Foster's Home for _Imaginary Friends_" didn't give'a it away?"

Kiyo blushed.

**_Even though he was odd looking, he was still so much cooler then Folgore._**

"Uh, no." Folgore said simply, crossing his arms. "He'a may be cool, but'a no one can beat the great Parco Folgore!"

Kanchome cheered. The rest of the group, however, rolled their eyes.

"Oh yes," Megumi sighed sarcastically. "you're just so cool. Just, as cool as cool can be."

**_The group stared. The tall creature frowned._**

**_"Uh, yo? You okay?" He asked, waving his hand in their faces. Nothing. He sighed._**

**_"Oh okay, I get it." He said, smiling. "It's cool, it's cool. I know I'm all broken, with the wonkey eye and the stubby arm. Probably freaks you out? That's okay, I'll get someone else-"_**

**_"You're tall." The group all gasped in unison._**

"They'a stole that from episode 1 too!" Folgore whined.

**_"Oh, uh, yeah." The creature said, rubbing the back of his neck._**

**_"You should play backetball." Zatch sighed._**

**_"Oh, yeah, I do." He said, obviously embarrassed. "So, how about that tour?"_**

**_"Yeah!" They all cheered._**

**_"Great! Let's go!"_**

"That's'a it of chapter one." Folgore sighed, turning towards the rest of the group. "So, what'a did you'a think?"

"It was alright." Kiyo said, shrugging his shoulders. "Not one of the best stories ever, but it was probably the best one I read so far on this site, even though I've never even heard of this 'Foster's' show."

Megumi shrugged and made a bit of a face.

"Eh, I dunno. It seemed to be more about this Foster's show and less about, well, us."

Most of the group nodded in agreement.

"What did you think, Folgore?" Kiyo asked turning towards the Italian.

"Uh, I'a thought it'a sorta copied the show word to word, but it'a was better than the other stories we'a read earlier."

The room when deadly silent for awhile. The group looked at one and other, just waiting for someone to utter the first word. Finally, after what seemed forever, it came.

"So," Folgore began. "should'a we read the next chapter?"

* * *

**So, should they read the next chapter or should they go on to a totally different story? You decide.**


	10. The Crossover part 2

**A/N: Alright guys, you asked for it. The group will be reading the next chapter of "Zatch's Home for Imaginary Friends". I own nothing**

* * *

"So?" Folgore asked, staring at the group. "Should we?" 

The group looked at each other. It seemed like a good story so far, but who knows, the rest of it could have been complete and utter crap. Kiyo couldn't help worrying if it would turn out to be some kind of lemon between either him and Frankie or Folgore and Frankie. Kiyo sighed.

"Go ahead." Kiyo groaned after awhile. "Let's see what happens."

**_A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys!! D It means a lot to me. And don't worry, there are not gonna be any lemons between Kiyo&Frankie or Folgore &Frankie._**

Kiyo sighed with relief. Folgore on the other hand...

"Aw." Folgore muttered. The group gasped. Folgore's mouth twitched.

"Uhh, did'a I'a say that out loud?"

The group nodded slowly.

"Ya know," Kiyo said, eyeing the sweating man strangely. "you really need a girlfriend."

**_I'm not that much of a perv XD_**

"Random question," Kiyo began, turning to face most of the group. "what kinda pervert writes these 'lemon' stories anyway?"

Folgore whistled nervously.

**_On with da fic!_**

**_Wilt was pretty awesome. He showed them the tea room, the bedrooms, the kitchen, the bathroom, and all that other nifty stuff. When they got to the laundry room, someone dropped a sock. Gasping, Wilt grabbed it, made it into a little ball and threw it into the basket._**

"Argh! Another stolen scene!" Folgore shrieked, practically tearing some of his hair out.

**_Wilt looked sooo manly when he did that._**

"Why do I have the odd feeling that this Wilt is quite the fangirl magnet?" Kiyo sighed.

**_"That was awesome!" Zatch and Kanchome cried out, clapping. Wilt grinned at them._**

**_"He is soooo much cooler than Folgore." Kanchome thought._**

Folgore shot his poor little mamodo a glare. Kanchome sweatdropped.

"Oh, so that's'a how you'a feel, is'a it?" Folgore asked angerly, his vein popping.

"N-no. No!" The shaking mamodo child stammered, his little eyes shifting. "Of c-course not!"

**_Finally, they came to one last room. Wilt frowned._**

**_"Um, I don't know if you guys wanna see this ro-"_**

**_"Of course we do!" Tia cried, pushing Wilt over and opening the door._**

"I'm not that pushy," Tia stated, looking around the room. "am I?"

The group was silent. Zatch coughed.

**_Tia gasped. Standing there was the ugliest creature ever. It had lopsided eyes and lips, was green, and had an elephant like trunk._**

"Sounds sexy." Megumi giggled.

**_"Vhat are you doing here?!" It shrieked, looking at the group. "Get out! Get out!! GET OUT!!!"_**

**_The group (including Wilt, how could I forget the sweet, cute-_**

"Yes," Kiyo groaned. "we get it. Wilt's a hottie. Can we PLEASE get on with the story?"

**_and sporty IF?) ran for their lives. When they finally got to safety, Wilt told to group about that thing._**

**_"That was Duchess." He said, frowning. "She is not nice. Don't ever, ever, EVER get in her way."_**

**_The group nodded. _**

**_"Let's go." Wilt said. The group nodded again and followed him. While they were walking, Kiyo was sure he heard something behind them. He turned around. Nothing. He shrugged._**

**_"Must be my imagination." He thought._**

**_They walked into the kitchen._**

**_"Hey, what's that?" Zatch asked, pointing to a bird-airplane-plant thingy._**

**_"Coco?" It said._**

**_"Uh, no thanks." Kiyo said, raising his eyebrow._**

**_"Coco?" It said, turning to Zatch._**

**_"Yes." He replied, smiling._**

**_"Coco?"_**

**_"Yes."_**

**_"Coco?"_**

**_"Yes."_**

**_"Coco?"_**

**_"Yes!"_**

**_"Coco?"_**

"Okay, that's'a it!" Folgore cried, throwing up his hands. "I'a can't'a take anymore! It's'a just a big copy of the show."

Folgore couldn't take the crappiness of fanfictions anymore. The poor man fell to the floor in a nervous breakdown, sobbing. The group just stared at him. Kanchome gasped.

"Oh no, Folgore are you okay?" He cried, kneeling down. "Don't worry, I'll get you back up. Iron Man Folgore! In-vin-s-"

"STOP SINGING!" The group shrieked.

* * *

**Yes, it was short and shitty. Whatever. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Goodbye.**


	11. It Sucks to be Kanchome

**I own nothing OKAY! D:**

* * *

"Sooo," Kiyo coughed, staring at the blonde singer who was now in a fetal position and sucking his thumb. "Who reads next?"

The room was silent (if you ignore Folgore's gasping and sobbing). Kiyo glared.

"Come on guys," He groaned. "I've already read enough."

Kiyo eyes scanned the room. Was there anyone here who hadn't read already? His eyes fell upon Kanchome. He grinned evilly.

"Sooo, Kanchome." He said sweetly, smirking at the shaking mamodo. "What'll you be reading to us?"

"Uh, uh..." The small boy stuttered, looking at the group. "D-do I have to?"

"Yes!" The group all exclaimed in unison. He sighed.

"Fine, but I pick it out."

Kiyo shrugged and grinned.

"Whatever."

Kanchome sat down in the seat and scanned the computer screen. There must be something interesting. Anything at all that he could read? He scrolled down.

"Ooh, I think I found something!" He squealed in delight, clapping girlishly. "And it's about me. Maybe this won't be so bad after all."

**_A Story About Kanchome_**

**_By Death2StupidMamodos_**

**_Summary: Yeah, yeah, stupid title I know. An... interesting story about Kanchome._**

"Ooh, interesting is good!" Kanchome said, still clapping girlishly. Kiyo stared at him for a moment.

"Ya know, it's times like these I wonder if that F/K slash was really that far from the truth." Kiyo said to himself quietly.

**_One day, a little mamodo named Kanchome was walking down the street eating candy._**

"Sounds like you alright." Zatch sighed.

**_He really liked candy. He never shared it with anyone._**

"Yep, that's you alright." Zatch giggled. Kanchome glared at him

**_He was fat._**

"Hey wait, I'm not fat!" He stated, pouting. "Is this gonna be a mean story?"

Kiyo grinned.

**_The fat-_**

"I'm not fat!"

**_mamodo was kinda stupid too._**

"I'm not stupid either!" Kanchome cried, stomping his feet.

**_And he was really weird and ugly._**

"I'm not ugly!" He bawled. "Or weird!"

**_And he was the biggest freakin' wimp the world has ever known._**

"I'm not a wimp!" He sobbed. "I don't wanna read this anymore!"

"You can't back out now." Kiyo stated, smirking. "We went through with it, you can go through with it too."

"But I-"

"I don't care, just read it."

Kanchome muttered some insult about Kiyo and went back to reading

**_Everyone would've thought he was gay to if it hadn't had been for his girlfriend, Rushka_**

The group erupted with laughter. Kanchome's jaw (if that's what ya wanna call it) dropped.

"W-what?" He stuttered, waving his hands around the air anime style. "S-she's not my girlfriend. S-she's like my little sister."

"Yeah," Folgore chuckled, finally coming out of his breakdown and getting up off the floor. "that's'a practically incest. Kanchome, you naughty, naughty little boy."

"But I... aw screw it!"

**_Anyway, he was walking down the street eating his candy when Tia and Zatch came by._**

**_"Hi Tia. Hi Zatch." He said, waving incredibly stupidly. "What's up?"_**

**_They glared at him angrily._**

**_"Um, are you guys okay?" He asked. They still glared at him. Then, Tia took out a knife._**

Kanchome hesitated. He gulped.

"Keep going..." Kiyo urged, glaring at him.

**_Zatch took out a gun._**

**_"Your time has come, duck-boy." Tia said coldly. She snapped her fingers and Kiyo, Megumi, Suzy WonRei, Li-en, Brago, Sherry, and even Folgore all came out, carrying guns, knives, and other stuff._**

**_"Goodbye Kanchome." Tia said. Kanchome screamed and ran, but it was too late. Everyone took a shot at him. He died._**

**_They had a great party to celebrate his death. From then on that day was known as "Death of an Idiot Day" and was a celebrated holiday even bigger then Xmas._**

**_The End._**

The group stared at the quivering mamodo child in shock. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Uh oh," Kiyo said under his breath. "Here it comes. 5... 4... 3... 2..."

"WAAAAH!" Kanchome wailed, falling to the floor and causing the group to jump back. "YOU'RE ALL SO MEAN! WAAAAAH!"

He bawled, kicking and screaming on Kiyo's floor.

"Oh boy..." Folgore sighed, rubbing his temple. "Kanchome come'a back!" He tried to make a grab at the small child. The boy simply scooted away.

"No! Lemme alone! WAAAAH!" He screamed, cringing away from his reader.

"Oh," Folgore moaned. "What'a has the world of fanfiction become?"

Then, a male voice behind the group made them turn around.

"What's going on?"

It was Wonrei and Li-en.

* * *

**Poor Kanchome. Feel sorry for him, I demand it! -pets his head-**

**Kanchome: -bites me-**

**Me: OWWW! Hey, duck's aren't supposed to have teeth!**


	12. The LOOOONG Author's Note

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, but I was starting to run out of ideas. But I got on, and here it is. I own nothing**

* * *

Wonrei and Li-en stared quietly at the spectacle before them. Kiyo smiled fakely at them, hiding the sweatdrop from behind.

"Oh, you're here already..." Kiyo coughed, shifting his eyes uneasily.

"Um, yeah." Wonrei replied, raising his eyebrow slightly. "Sooo, what is going on anyway?"

"Well, where to begin?..." Kiyo sighed, rubbing his chin. "Okay, here we go..."

So Kiyo and Zatch told them all about finding Fanfiction dot Net and how they had found out there was a section about themselves and the abominations people had been writing about them.

Zatch told them about the n00by troll fic.

"MY NAME IS NOT ZACK!"

Megumi and Tia told them about Beautifulica.

"The bitch must die..."

Kiyo told them about the about the slash and crack pairing.

"Okay, I've always thought Folgore was a pervert, but... damn..."

Zatch then told them about the angst.

"...but don't worry, I'll make sure Kiyo and Megumi get the help they need."

Kiyo then told them about the KiyoSuzy story.

"Why in the hell would I sleep with a girl who draws happy faces on fruit?"

(This, of course, caused Suzy to go into another breakdown and Kiyo had to spend an extra 15 minutes trying to calm her and tell her he that his words came out wrong).

Folgore told them about the crossover with FHFIF.

"IT'A HAD NO IMAGINATION! Uh, no pun intended..."

And last, Kanchome, er, well just by watching him you knew he didn't like what he had to read.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -hack cough- AAAAAAAHH!"

It took about a half hour for the group to explain everything. Through that time the two new comers just stared at them, speechless.

"Uh, well..." Li-en finally said after the group was finished. "Sounds... um... interesting." She stopped for a moment, looking at the nervous looking group. "So... can we see some of these stories."

Wonrei turned to her suddenly as though she was insane.

"Didn't you hear them?" He hissed to his reader, glaring. "Look what it's done to them."

He pointed to Kanchome, who was still screaming and crying, Megumi and Tia, who were rocking in a corner, muttering stuff about how to kill Beautifulica, and Suzy, who had finally cried herself to sleep. Li-en, taking practically no notice to them at all, laughed.

"Oh don't be silly." She chuckled, waving her hand in her annoyed mamodo's face. "It's just a bunch of stories. These guys just gotta realize that they're only stories and can't do any harm."

Idiot...

"Very well," Wonrei sighed, sweatdropping slightly. "let's see some of these stories."

"Uh, well," Kiyo looked down at Kanchome. "I'd let you in but SOMEONE is covering the way. Kanchome are you almost done your tantrum?"

"Not quite... WAAAAAAAAHH WAAH WAAAAH!... Kay, I'm almost finished, just give me another minute... WAAAH!..."

The two newcomers simply stepped carefully over Kanchome and made their way over to the computer.

"So, what are you reading now?" Wonrei asked cooly, looking at the screen.

"Nothing yet." Kiyo replied, clicking the back button. "Why?"

Wonrei hesitated for a moment.

"Perhaps then I could pick out the story?" He finally said, cringing as though he was saying the most horrible thing in the universe. A smile crept across Kiyo's face.

"Of course," He said, changing his tone from stressed to sickeningly sweet and getting up off the chair. "have at it."

Wonrei paused for a moment. What was he getting himself into?

"Come on..." Li-en urged, elbowing he slightly.

"I know, I know." He sighed, glaring at her. "I'm just thinking."

"Well think faster."

His vein throbbed slightly. Sighing, he finally sat down. He took the mouse and scanned the screen for a few moments.

"How about this?" He asked, pointing to one.

**_Mamodo Adventures_**

**_By LucyTheAwesomeReader_**

**_Summary: Some cute stories about our fave mamodos._**

"This one doesn't actually sound half bad." Megumi said, coming back to the group. "Simple, but not bad."

"Let's give it a read." Kiyo said, cocking his head.

**_A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic so I hope you like it. Sooo, it's a bunch of stories about your fave mamodo characters. Enjoy!_**

**_Bobo: Yeah right_**

"Wait," Kiyo stopped Wonrei, raising his brow. "Who's Bobo?"

"Got no clue." Wonrei sighed. "I just got here, remember?"

**_Me: Ugh, you. Sorry guys, this is my OC, Bobo_**

"Um, what's an OC?" Zatch asked, turning to Folgore.

"An original character." He said simply, smiling. "Like, Mary-Sue's are usually OCs."

"No, no!" Megumi and Tia screamed, scooting into their corner and waving their arms around. "Not another one. NOT ANOTHER ONE!"

"Calm down," Folgore sighed, sweatdropping. "Not'a all OCs are Mary-Sues."

**_Bobo: -waving- Hello_**

**_Me: So, what do you think of my story, Bobo?_**

**_Bobo: It's the most horrid piece of crap ever!_**

"Interesting..." Wonrei mumbled. "She's insulting herself."

"Talk about multiple personalities." Li-en replied, furrowing her brow with confusion.

**_Me: Thanx... :( -whispering- Mister Poo Head_**

**_Bobo: I heard that!_**

**_Me: -sweatdropping- Sorry!_**

**_Bobo: Whatever..._**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Bobo: ..._**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Bobo: ..._**

"Okay..." Wonrei sighed, resting his head on his hand. "I think we get it."

**_Me: Ack! You win!_**

**_Bobo: As always_**

**_Me: -pouts-_**

**_Bobo: Lol!_**

**_Me: Meanie!_**

**_Bobo: Whatever..._**

**_Me: -sigh- You are such a jerk sometimes_**

**_Bobo: Thank you!_**

**_Lulu: -walks in- HELLO!_**

"Oh wonderful," Groaned Wonrei. "another one."

**_Me: Hi Lulu. Guys, this is my other OC, Lulu_**

**_Lulu: -high on juice- HIIIEVERYONELOLOLOLOLWEEEEEE!_**

"Um, fill me in here," Kiyo muttered, stepping back slightly. "when did people start being able to get high on juice?"

**_Me: ... Okay then... What do you think of my story?_**

**_Lulu: !_**

**_Me: Um... okay... thanx... -sweatdrops-_**

**_Lulu: Lol!_**

**_Me: Rofl!_**

**_Lulu: Lmao!_**

**_Me: Roflmao!_**

**_Lulu: Roflmaoxyz_**

"Dare I even bother to ask what these all mean?" Li-en asked, making a face.

"Remind me again," Wonrei grumbled, trying to keep himself from dozing off. "is this the story or are we still on the A/N?"

"The A/N..." The group groaned.

**_Me: -coughs- Well anyway, we should get on with the story, right?_**

The group cheered.

**_Lulu: NONONOTYETI'!_**

The group groaned

**_Bobo: ... I can't believe I'm related to you._**

**_Lulu: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLWEEEEEE!_**

**_Bobo: You are so annoying..._**

**_Lulu: !_**

**_Bobo: Someone please kill her..._**

**_Lulu: LOLOLOLWEEEEEEHAHAHAHALOL!_**

**_Bobo: Help..._**

**_Lulu: YAYAYAYAYAYAWEEEEEEE!_**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Bobo: ..._**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Lulu: LOLOLWEEEEI'MSOOOOCOOL!_**

**_Bobo: ..._**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Bobo: ..._**

**_Lulu: LOLOLOLOLOL!_**

**_Bobo: ..._**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Bobo: -cough-_**

**_Me: -hack-_**

**_Lulu: LOLOLOLLOLOL!_**

**_Me: ..._**

**_Bobo: ..._**

_THUMP!_

The group jumped. Wonrei had just passed out!

"Wonrei!" Li-en squeeled, coming to the aid of her passed out mamodo. "What happened?"

"Uh, I'a think he fell asleep." Folgore replied, staring at him.

"Well I can't blame him," Kiyo sighed, helping Li-en pick the young man up and place him on his bed. "that was one of the most boring and annoying pieces of crap I've ever had to go through. I mean come on! How freakin' long to do have to make your author's note?"

Kiyo sat down in the chair and scrolled down to the story part. His eyes widened.

"Guys, you will not believe this!" Kiyo exclaimed, his mouth hanging open. "The author's note was longer than the story itself."

Folgore sighed and shook his head.

"Yes'a, I've come across stories like that." He sighed. "It'a works as an excuse for those lazy writers to not have'a to write much for their story."

The group all moaned.

"Nice," Zatch groaned. "we finally come across a story that sounds good and all it is is a weird girl talking to her two OCs, one which is almost as annoying as Beautifulica."

Li-en glared, walked back over to the group, and pushed the two males out of her way.

"Well we won't have to go through that again," She sat down in the chair and clicked the back button. "because I'm picking out the story now!"

* * *

**BTW I have nothing against the stories that have a quick chat with their OC in the A/N, but it's when it takes up a whole chapter that it starts to piss me off. I hope I didn't offend anyone.**

**Oh, and Shadow Sora94, tell Masumara that he can feel free to practice his killing skills on Lulu ;D  
**


	13. A Femslash Threesome! OMFG!

**A/N: SO sorry I haven't updated for awhile, I got kinda busy with school and stuff -kicks schoolwork-. Luckily, summer break is near and soon I'll have time to update more. Yay! Anyway, I'm back with a new chapter. Enjoy! I own nothing.**

* * *

Li-en scanned the screen for a few moments. A certain title caught her eye. She grinned.

"This looks interesting." She muttered to herself, clicking it.

**_Something Hot_**

**_By FSIstehbest_**

"Folgore, why are you squirming?" Kiyo asked, turning to the blond. "You excited about reading this or something?"

"No, I'a just really need to go to the washroom."

"Oh... down the hall and to the left."

The man nodded greatfully and ran out the room, clutching his crotch. The group stared at him, sweatdropping slightly.

"Ooookay..." Kiyo managed to mutter after awhile, turning back to Li-en. "continue."

Li-en nodded and began reading the story.

**_Summary: A Li-en, Megumi, Suzy threesome FS._**

"Uh, what's FS?" Megumi asked nervously, shifting her eyes around the room.

"The heck with FS, what's a threesome?" Li-en coughed.

**_Li-en, Megumi, and Suzy were all hanging out one day-_**

"Wait, when did we start hanging out with Suzy randomly?" Megumi questioned, turning to the slumbering girl in the corner.

**_when the boys were out. They were bored. So bored. There was nothing to do. Soooo boring._**

"Yeah, just like this story." Kiyo muttered. He was simply hushed by Li-en.

**_"Are you as bored as I am?" Li-en asked. Everyone nodded. Li-en sighed and turned to Megumi. She blushed when she noticed Megumi cleavage._**

"What?" Megumi and Li-en shrieked at the same time. Megumi shot the poor Chinese girl a look.

"I-I would n-never..." Li-en stuttered, shaking slightly.

"Ewww, that is sooo gross!" Both Zatch and Tia squealed, covering their eyes.

**_Megumi saw her looking at her and blushed a bit herself. Li-en was looking rather good today._**

Megumi nearly choked.

**_Suzy looked at them._**

**_"Wow," She thought. "Megumi's looking kinda hot in that tight low cut shirt today."_**

"TIGHT LOW CUT SHIRT?" Megumi screamed, jumping up and knocking her chair over once again. "I'd never wear anything like that. What am I, a slut?"

"You really want me to answer that?" Kanchome replied, crawling out from under the desk. Megumi's vein popped. Kanchome sweatdropped.

"Uh, nevermind."

**_Suzy's eyes then turned to Li-en._**

"Oh God..." Kiyo moaned, holding his head.

**_She felt herself getting horny._**

Li-en felt ready to throw up all over poor Kiyo's floor.

**_"Hey I know how to lighten this up!" Suzy cried, jumping up. "Watch me!"_**

**_With that Suzy started stripping in front of everyone._**

The girls gasped and turned to Suzy in the corner, who was still sleeping peacefully.

**_The girls cheered at her sexy body. Megumi was feeling really horny._**

Megumi paled.

**_Actually, so were all the other girls. They all started stripping too._**

Uh, uh, uh..." Li-en babbled, her mouth twitching.

**_Soon they were all naked and hugging and kissing. They all were so happy because they finally admitted their love for each other._**

"Ya know," Zatch began, eyeing the girls. "I find it odd no matter how disturbing the story gets, you still continue reading. And by the way, EWWWWWWW! GROSS!"

The girls took no notice in him. Li-en continued reading.

**_Finally Li-en went to her stylish designer backpack-_**

"When did I get a designer backpack?" Li-en asked.

**_and pulled out a dil-_**

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Megumi shrieked, grabbing the mouse away from Li-en. Meanwhile, Zatch had leaned over the two girls and continued reading the fic in his head.

"Kiyo," He asked, turning to the teenager. "what's a dil-"

"Don't ask." Kiyo cut in, hiding his face in his hands.

Megumi glared at Li-en.

"You're gonna pay..." She hissed, a flame sparking in her glimmering eyes. Li-en paled.

"What... did I do?"

Megumi's face twitched. She stood up and slowly and dangerously calmly walked over to the other girl. She took a deep, long breath.

"YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH THIS SHIT," Megumi screamed in her face, causing the girl to fall over. "THAT'S WHAT!"

Of course, at that moment, Folgore walked back in the room.

"Hey'a Kiyo, you would happen to have a plunger, would you?... Hey, what's'a wrong?"

Megumi's vein throbbed.

"And YOU!" She roared, grabbing the startled man by the cuff of his shirt and pulling him to the computer. "Look what we had to read while you were gone. Yeah, it was GREAT not having your knowledge of fanfiction. YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS!"

Folgore gulped, fearing for his life. Megumi's free hand was in a little fist and was dangerously close to his face.

"Wh-what'a is it?"

"It's some kinda weird lesbian porn or something." Li-en replied, edging herself away from Megumi.

"It's girl slash!" Tia gagged, sticking her tongue out to show her disgust.

Folgore read the summary. He sweatdropped slightly, laughing nervously.

"Oh, uh, a femslash threesome, eh?..."

"Oh, so THAT'S what FS stands for?" Megumi asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah... ya know, you'a should really wait for me next time..."

"I'll remember that..." Li-en sighed, hanging her head slightly.

"YOU WERE IN THERE FOR OVER TEN MINUTES!" Screamed Megumi.

"Well sometimes it'a takes time..."

"OH SHUT UP!"

"So," Kiyo began nervously. "I'm guessing a threesome is-"

"When three people have... ya know... at the same time... yeah." Folgore interrupted, smiling awkwardly.

Suddenly, a small yawn was heard from the corner. The group turned to find Suzy, awake and stretching.

"Oooh, what happened?" She moaned, blinking her eyes. "Did I miss much?"

The group fell over anime style.

* * *

**Thanks Jessesgirl1549 for the idea for a WonreiXLi-En fic. I'll probably do that next. Then after that maybe a KiyoXMegumi (as requested by Kaiser Aldamon) and a TiaXKanchome (as requested by MoonBeamGirl).**

**P.S., Suzy is a dolt, but we love her anyway, right? ;)**


	14. The WonreiLien Songfic

**A/N: Kay, if I owned Zatch Bell, I'd be Japanese, rich, and a lot of people would love me. I also highly doubt I'd be on Fanfiction. OKAY? I also don't own the lyrics to "Sexy Love". They belong to Ne-Yo.**

* * *

"Kay, I think it's about time I got to pick the story." Megumi muttered, getting back up and nudging Li-en out of the way. Suzy stared at the group for a moment and blinked.

"Really, what'd I miss?" Suzy questioned groggily, rubbing the back of her neck and stretching out her legs. Kiyo sweatdropped and sighed.

"We'll talk about this later, okay?"

Megumi, ignoring the two other teenagers, scanned the computer screen for a few minutes. Suddenly, a certain title caught her eye. An evil grin formed on her face. She turned to Li-en.

"Revenge..." She hissed softly, smiling maniacally at the startled young woman. Li-en started sweating.

**_Sexy Love_**

**_By WonreiandLiEn4EVER_**

**_A sweet Wonrei/Li-En songfic. ENJOY!_**

Megumi chuckled evilly as she clicked the link. Li-en choked.

"Oh, no..." Li-en managed to cough out.

**_Wonrei stared at Li-En dreamly. She was so beautiful. So perfect._**

**_My sexy love... (so sexy...)_**

**_She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up_**

**_Just one touch_**

**_And I errupt like a volcano and cover her with my love_**

"Um, what is this? Because that sounded horribly wrong." Li-en muttered softly, squirming uncomfortably. Kiyo shrugged.

"Must be the lyrics to the song or something." He replied.

**_"Oh Li-En..." He sighed, staring dreamily at her._**

"Li-en and Wonrei sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" The three mamodo children squealed delightfully. They were soon silenced by piecing glare from Li-en.

**_Babygirl you make me say (Ohh ohhh ohhhh)_**

**_And I just can't think (of anything else I'd rather do)_**

**_Than to hear you sing (sing my name the way you do)_**

**_When we do our thing (when we do the things we do)_**

**_Babygirl you make me say (Ohh ohhh ohhhh)_**

"What a lovely song." Kiyo muttered sacastically.

**_Li-En turned and saw Wonrei staring at her. She smiled and waved at him._**

**_"Oh Wonrei, if only you knew." She thought dreamily._**

The group fell on the floor, bursting into fits of laughter. Li-en glared.

"Shut up!" She snapped, blushing slightly.

"Sorry," Megumi chuckled, getting back to her feet and sitting back down in front of the computer screen. "it's just, this story is so close to the truth, it's funny."

"What?" Li-en exclaimed, blushing even brighter. "What do you mean by that?"

Megumi didn't reply. Smirking, she continued reading the fanfiction.

**_Sexy love girl the things you do_**

**_(Oh baby baby) Keep me sprung, keep running back to you_**

**_Oh I love making love to you_**

**_Babygirl you know you're my (sexy love...)_**

"Okay, why use this song?" Li-en asked after the whole group had collected themselves. "It's obviously about sex. We're not having sex-"

"Not yet at least." Megumi interrupted, smirking. "But who knows."

Li-en was silent for a moment. She hesitated to speak. "What do you mean?"

"Could be a lemon."

Again, Li-en was silent.

"Uh, what's a lemon?" She finally asked, fidgeting in her chair.

"A lemon is-" Folgore began, soon being cut off by Megumi.

"Nah, nah, let her find out for herself." Megumi chuckled, smiling. Li-en gulped nervously.

**_Wonrei smiled back at her. Her smile was so perfect. Hell, everything about her was perfect._**

"Yeah, yeah, we get it already." Megumi muttered impatiently , waving her hand slightly. "Where's the part where they have-"

The group stared at her. She sweated slightly.

"Uh, sorry." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'll just read now."

**_I'm so addicted to her she's the sweetest drug_**

**_Just enough_**

**_Still too much say that I'm simp and I'm sprung all of the above_**

**_I can't help she makes me say (Ohh ohhh ohhhh)_**

**_And I just can't think (of anything else I'd rather do)_**

**_"He's sooooo handsome." Li-En thought._**

Li-en glanced at her slumbering mamodo for a moment. She was almost glad he wasn't awake to see this.

**_Than to hear you sing (sing my name the way you do)_**

**_When we do our thing (when we do the things we do)_**

**_Oh, babygirl you make me say (Ohh ohhh ohhhh)_**

"Is it just me or did anyone else notice that most of the story is lyrics, and not the story itself?" Kiyo questioned, cocking his head back.

"We noticed." The group muttered in unison.

"Another example of lazy writers." Folgore sighed, placing his head in his hand.

**_Suddenly Li-En tripped and fell over. She screamed._**

**_"Help me Wonrei!" She squealed helplessly._**

The group burst out into more laughter. Li-en's jaw dropped.

"Since when did I become some helpless damsel in distress?" She exclaimed, trying to fit her jaw back into place. "I am skilled in martial arts and she dare portray me in such a degrading way? God!"

There was a small moan heard from Kiyo's bed.

"Uh, what's going on here?" Wonrei muttered, standing up and rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Morning, sleepy head." Megumi said to him cheerfully, trying to hide the evil grin from him.

"What's going on?" He repeated, walking over to the group and furrowing his eyebrows slightly.

"Oh, well," Megumi replied, grinning. "here, I'll just let you find out for yourself."

**_Sexy love girl the things you do_**

**_(Oh baby baby) Keep me sprung, keep running back to you_**

**_Oh I love making love to you_**

**_Say babygirl you know you're my (sexy love...)_**

"What is this 'sexy love' they speak of?" Wonrei grumbled, raising his brow. "And who is making love to who?"

"No one's making love... yet..." Megumi chuckled. Wonrei stared at her for a moment. He turned to a shaking and praying Li-en.

"What is she talking about?" He asked Li-en, slightly annoyed with the lack of answers he was getting. Li-en's lip quivered slightly. She was silent. Wonrei let out a long, exasperated groan.

**_"Oh no!" Wonrei cried, running to his love._**

"My what?" He asked, looking around the room. "What is this story talking about?"

**_Wonrei caught her-_**

"Who?" He yelled, throwing his hands in the air. Megumi laughed quietly.

**_just in time._**

**_"Oh thank you Wonrei," Li-En cooed-_**

Wonrei choked and gasped.

"LI-EN?" He exclaimed, staring at his nervous looking reader. "What exactly happened here?"

"She fell." Megumi said as if it was nothing.

"EXCUSE ME?"

**_lovingly. "you saved me."_**

Li-en gagged.

**_Oh baby what we do it makes the sun come up_**

**_Keep on lovin' 'til it goes back down_**

**_And I don't know what I'd do if I would lose your touch_**

**_That's why I'm always keepin' you around... my sexy love_**

**_Sexy love girl the things you do (things you do baby)_**

**_(Oh baby baby) Keep me sprung, keep running back to you (keep me runnin' back to you)_**

**_Oh I love (I love) making love to you_**

**_Say babygirl you know you're my (sexy love...)_**

**_"Oh don't worry about it." Wonrei cooed back-_**

Wonrei gagged.

**_even more lovingly. "I would never ever want to see you hurt."_**

**_They hugged each other tightly._**

_**Sexy love girl the things you do (sexy love)**_

_**Keep me sprung, keep running back to you (runnin' back to you)**_

_**Oh I love making love to you**_

_**Say babygirl you know you're my (sexy love...)**_

"Help." Wonrei squeaked weakly. The group snickered.

**_"Wonrei, I love you so much. Please be my boyfriend." Li-En begged._**

"How degrading." Li-en stated, crossing her arms angrily.

**_"Of course I will." Wonrei replied. Li-En sighed happily and they made out._**

**_She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up_**

**_Just one touch..._**

**_THE END!_**

"Aw man!" Megumi whined, stomping her feet angrily. "No lemons?"

The group eyed her strangely. She paled slightly.

"Uh, nevermind..."

"I can't believe this!" Wonrei yelled furiously after letting the whole story sink in. "What the hell is with this story?"

He grabbed Li-en's shoulders and shook the poor woman.

"Uh, Wonrei?..." Li-en began timidly.

"Why write about us as a couple?" Wonrei raged on, ignoring Li-En. "I mean really!..."

"Wonrei?..." Li-en muttered, backing away from the crazed boy slightly.

"What is with this writer? Stupid bitch..."

"Wonrei?..."

"HOW THE HELL DID THIS PERSON KNOW WE WERE A COUPLE ANYWAY?"

The whole room went deadly silent. The group stared at them in surprise. For a good couple of minutes, the room was silent. Suddenly, everybody, aside from the two lovebirds, burst out laughing. Suzy pulled out two oranges from her bag and began doodling Li-en and Wonrei's faces on them. Li-en slapped her head and groaned. Wonrei began to sweat.

"Uh, oops... did I say that out loud?"

Li-En's vein throbbed. She walked over and cuffed her paling mamodo over the head.

"Idiot..." She hissed.

* * *

**BTW, I've got nothing against songfics. I like songfics, it's just a little annoying when it takes up most of the story. I hope I didn't offend anyone.**


	15. The Crappiest Poem EVER!

**A/N: Yeah, I'm still alive XP So sorry for not updating in like... forever. However, the one good thing about being away for so long is that I was able to improve my writing style, which I hope you'll notice. Sooooo anyway, if you don't hate me and hunt me down to throw rotten food at my head, here's the next chapter.**

**I don't own anything, ho-kay!**

* * *

"Ow," Wonrei muttered, rubbing the new bruise that now sat on his head. Li-En continued to glare at him.

"Uh, no duh!" Kiyo snorted, grinning madly. This was just too good. "Everyone knows you're together. Seriously, it's so obvious."

"Ya know," Zatch added in. "Wonrei will have to go back to the Mamo-"

"WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!" Li-En shouted defensively in the boys' faces, causing them to fall over. She then wrapped her arm around her mamodo protectively.

"Okay," Kiyo muttered, pulling himself back up. He was starting to get used to falling over every so often now. "Anywho, let's see the story,"

**_Flowers for You_**

**_by OMGILUBBERSTEHKAWAIITHANGS_**

"Oh joy..." Kiyo sighed. "another anime fa-"

"Uh, uh uh," Zatch jumped up and waved his finger in Kiyo's face. "The term "anime fag" is not politically correct. They prefer to be called "fangirls"."

Silence.

"Where does he learn this stuff?" Megumi whispered to no one in particular.

**_Summary: A super cute little poem I wrote. Enjoy!_**

**_I picked some flowers for you_**

**_They're super pretty!_**

**_OMG I hope you like them_**

The characters took a minute to throw up in a corner.

**_They're almost as pretty as you_**

**_But nothing is as pretty as you baby!_**

"Makes me wonder who they're talking about," Kiyo commented.

"Well one thing's for sure," Tia added, smirking. "They sure aren't talking about Kanchome.

The group laughed. Kanchome went to look for a knife.

**_My love for you is strong_**

**_Soooooooo strong_**

**_You are teh secks of my life!_**

"Teh secks?" Li-En said, lifting one side of her lip in disgust. "What the hell is 'teh secks'?"

**_I hope you can love me too_**

**_It's me, Kiyo_**

"Great, now I talk like a fag."

**_I lovers you, Megumi_**

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Suzy shrieked, running out the door and out of the house. "IT'S NOT FAIR."

The group watched for a moment. This was the best entertainment they'd had in awhile.

"Well, at least that got rid of her," Kiyo said after awhile.

"What surprised me is that you didn't freak out after you found out it was KiyoMegumi," Wonrei said, still being clutched by his creepy "girlfriend".

"We went through a KanchomeFolgore fic, and FolgoreTia fic, and KiyoSuzy fic, and a bunch of other pieces of crap. You get used to it after awhile."

"Oooh, good point."

"Anyway," Kiyo grinned evilly, clicking the back button and scrolling to a certain fic. "The next story we'll be reading is going to be KanchomeTia."

The group shuddered. Tia froze.

"W-w-w-WHAT?" She shrieked, shaking violently. "No, NO! You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would," Kiyo let out an ear-splitting evil laugh. The group gave him a look.

"We really need to close this site now and get him away from the computer," Zatch whispered, completely creeped-out.

"No, no," Kiyo hissed, throwing himself against the computer and clinging to it. "We like fanfiction. Precioussss..."

The group gapped. Megumi and Folgore made an attempt to pull the insane teenager off the computer.

"I was'a just wondering," Folgore said while tugging at Kiyo's leg. "Where's'a Kanchome?"

"I don't know," Megumi said, looking over her shoulder. "But I thin-HOLY CRAP!"

Both humans dropped Kiyo as they watched in horror as Kanchome snuck up behind Tia, a cleaver in his hand.

"What?" Tia asked, noticing the transfixed faces. "What is it?"

"THIS IS FOR CALLING ME UGLY, BITCH!" Kanchome screamed, holding the cleaver high in the air. Tia turned around. She screamed. Everyone screamed. The cleaver came down. Blood splattered, covering every inch of the room. Her blood...

...Okay not really. But he came pretty close, I'll give you that. Folgore managed to grab his arms, while Megumi went for his legs.

"This is madness!" Megumi shrieked, trying to hold down the struggling child.

"No," Folgore said. "THIS... IS... SPA-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" The group (including the psychos Kiyo and Kanchome) screamed.

"Aww..." Folgore pouted.

After a lot of work and help, the group managed to tie Kanchome to a chair and pull Kiyo away from the computer.

"Ya know," Zatch said quietly, hanging his head. "I think I know what the point of this site is. Brago, Zeno, and Zofis finally banded together and created this site. They knew it would cause us to slowly go insane, then causing us to kill each. Then, once we're out of the way, they'll band together and rule the Mamodo World with an iron fist. It all makes sense now..."

"Hey!" a familar voice from behind them spoke. "I may not like you, but I'm not evil!"

They turned around. It was... Brago?

* * *

**Yes fangirls, your dreams have finally come true. He's here. Anyway, sorry for the sucky chapter, I'm honestly starting to run low on ideas. I may end the fic soon if I can't think of anything funny anymore. **

**I'll try and be faster with the next update.**


	16. KanchomeTia? WTF?

**A/N: Hey guys, I'll try and update faster now. Again, sorry for not updating in over half a year (XP). Yeah...**

**I own everything! Even Zatch Bell! That's right, bitches! Bow down to me! Bow down!...**

**Okay not really, but damn! I wish I did.**

* * *

"You!" Zatch cried, jabbing his finger in the teenaged Mamodo's face as Sherry walked in. "How did you get here."

Brago pondered that for a moment.

"You know... I'm not sure."

Zatch anime fell. How could anyone not know how they got here?

333

_Somewhere in another universe..._

The writer of "Zatch Bell and the Fanfic Adventure", is cowering in a corner, holding a tree branch (her pathetic idea of a weapon) in her hands. She whimpers and shakes as she listens to the sound of fangirls breaking down her door.

"Put in Brago!" they scream, smashing at her door with Yaoi Paddles (those things are stronger than you think). "Put in Brago!"

"Okay!" she sobs pathetically, holding her stuffed dog, Muttsy, close to her. "I'll add Brago, just please don't hit me with Yaoi Paddles."

333

"From what I've heard," Sherry said, taking a seat on the floor. "It seems you've found a fanfiction site that includes us?"

The group nodded.

"And might I ask," Brago muttered, staring in a certain direction. "Why is he tied up?"

"Mhmm, mhhhh!" Kanchome mumbled with of piece of duct tape over his beak, trying desperately to get out of the chair he was tied to.

"And what's with him?" Sherry asked, totally creeped out, pointing to Kiyo. He was sitting hunched in a corner, wearing only a cloth over his lower half.

"Precioussssss..." he hissed, holding the mouse pad in his hands.

"Ugh, long story," Folgore moaned, slapping his head in disbelief. Sherry and Brago exchanged looks.

"Um," Sherry got up and backed away a bit. "Maybe we should go..."

"No, no!" Megumi shouted, grabbing their arms and pulling them to the floor. "Stay, stay! We were just about to read this very interesting..." she looked at the title and summary. "KanchomeTia fic? Wow that's disturbing... Oh well, we've all had to suffer a little, I'm sure Tia can handle it... But yeah, erm, KanchomeTia!"

Brago shuddered.

"Ugh, even I find that disturbing."

"Trust me," Folgore sighed. "There's worse."

Megumi turned to Tia, who was sitting staring quietly into space.

"I'm surprised you're not stopping us," Megumi said to her. "I would have thought you would."

No answer. Confused, Megumi tried talking to her again. Still no answer. Zatch got up, walked over to her, and waved his hand in her face.

"I think she's in shock," Zatch said after getting no response. Megumi sweated.

"Oh, ehehe... Oh well, she'll get over it."

"Mhhhh MMMMMM!" Kanchome struggled, rocking the chair back and forth.

"Ah shuddup," Megumi waved her hand to shut him up. "Anyway, let's read. Kiyo, stop chewing on the mouse pad and give it back to us.

**_My Tia_**

**_By ShonenShoujo_**

**_Summary: Kanchome and Tia show their feelings for eachother. KanchomeTia. Super fluffyness!_**

Brago gagged.

"Ugh... fluff... my one true weakness."

"But Brago," said Zatch innocently. "Your cloak is very fluffy, how come-"

"It doesn't count! It's manly fluff."

"But you just said-"

"MANLY. FLUFF."

**_"It's a beautiful day today isn't it Kanchome?" Tia said as she sat down beside him under a tree._**

Brago flinched. He was not liking the looks of this.

**_"Yeah," he said, blushing. He really liked Tia. Really, really liked Tia. Really, really-_**

"I think we get it," Megumi sighed.

_**really liked Tia. She was so hot and perfect and sweet-**_

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Tia?" Zatch laughed. It was a good thing she was still in shock.

**_and beautiful and cute, he wanted so much to tell her how he felt._**

"Mhhh MMEMMMM!" Kanchome continued to struggle.

**_"Want some candy?" He asked, pulling some lollipops out of his pocket. She nodded and took some. She blushed a bit._**

Everyone turned to look at Tia. She still seemed in a state of shock.

**_"Mmmm, this is really good," Tia said super happily. Kanchome smiled while eating an ice cream bar._**

"You have ice cream bars in your pocket?" Zatch asked, looking at Kanchome. "SWEET!"

Zatch tackled the still tied-up Kanchome to the ground and started searching through his pockets.

"MHHPMMMFF!" Kanchome mumbled loudly, trying to kick Zatch off.

_**"Oooh, can I have a bite?" Tia asked. Kanchome nodded and motioned her to take a bite. So while the bar was still in his mouth, she took a bite (a/n: lol think Lady and the Tramp scene with the spaghetti excepted with an ice cream bar XXXD)**_

The group gagged.

**_Then their mouths touched (a/n: omfg!)_**

"Kanchome has a mouth?" Li-En (who still had poor, gasping Won-Rei) said, raising her eyebrow.

"Please... let go of me..." Won-Rei gasped.

**_They blushed super hard. Kanchome noticed she had some icing on her face._**

**_"Oh, let me get that for you." Kanchome then licked it off. Tia giggled and blushed a dark red._**

The group gagged once again.

**_"Oh," said Kanchome, smiling slyly. "You have some on your mouth too. Here, I'll get it."_**

**_So Kanchome pressed his li-_**

"UGH STOP!" Brago screamed, throwing his head back and covering his eyes. "OH GOD! THE CUTENESS! I CAN'T TAKE IT! MY EYES! MY EARS!"

Brago ran around screaming, clutching his eyes. Megumi sighed and clicked the back button while Sherry tried to calm her Mamodo down.

"So, how's Tia doing?" Megumi asked Zatch, who was watching her closely. Tia blinked.

"I think she's starting to recover," Zatch said, studying her. "Yep, she's waking up."

Tia blinked a few times, but said nothing. She looked around the room, at Folgore, at Megumi, at Brago whose eyes were now puffed up and red from the fic, at Sherry, at the half naked Kiyo, at Zatch, at Li-En and Wonrei, and then finally at Kanchome. After taking a couple of seconds to process what just happened, Tia let out the most annoying, ear-splitting scream that caused everyone (including Kanchome and the now-crazed Kiyo) to look at her.

"Kanchome?" She shrieked, throwing her hands in the air. "Kanchome? Why the hell would I choose Kanchome? God, and after he nearly killed me?"

Kanchome laughed nervously under the duct tape. Tia continued to rant.

"And I thought being paired up with Folgore was bad enough, but Kanchome? God, I'm not that desperate! I'd rather have Zatch."

Zatch's eyes widened.

"Really?" he squealed, running up to her, his eyes sparkling. Tia, realizing what she had said, blushed a bit and turned away.

"Don't push your luck," she muttered quietly.

"I like fisssshhhh..." Kiyo hissed.

"Oh shut up will you!" Megumi exclaimed, throwing the computer mouse at his head.

* * *

**Hehe, I updated quick(er)! Yay for me! And don't worry fangirls (and maybe some fanboys), Brago recovered quite quickly. I'm not sure if I can say the same for Kiyo though...**

**And Yaoi Paddles are scary -cowers in a corner with Muttsy- T-T**


	17. ZatchTia and Their Kiddies!

**A/N: I'd like to thank Ookami Bakura for giving my 100th review! -puts on party hat and blows on noise maker- Congratulations, for this, you win 10 cookies. :D -hands Oookami Bakura a plate of freshly baked cookies- Enjoy!**

**I own nothing, which I'm sure you figured out by now.**

**BTW, this chapter is sort of about Zatch's kids stories (although it's also ZatchXTia). Since some of my fans write those kind of stories, I just wanted to say I hope I don't offend any of you with this chapter, and I'm in no way making fun of your stories. In fact, most of those kind of stories are very good, and I'm really only making fun of stories that seem like they haven't had a lot of thought put into them. Remember, this is just a parody.**

* * *

Kiyo hissed and backed into the corner even more. Megumi rolled her eyes.

"Grow up," she mumbled, sighing. Zatch looked at him strangely.

"Think he'll be okay?" Zatch asked, eyeing his book reader. Megumi shrugged.

"Eh, who knows. He'll probably be fine in a few minutes."

Kiyo rocked back and forth, humming "They're Coming to Take Me Away" as he did so. Megumi laughed nervously and turned her attention back to the computer screen. Scrolling a bit, she looked at the different titles, seeing if there was one that looked at least somewhat interesting to her. Finally, she found it. With an evil smile and a glance at Zatch, she clicked. Oh what horrors could this story behold?

**_Zatch's Kids_**

"Oh crap..." Zatch said under his breath.

**_By ZatchXTia4ever_**

"Double crap," both Zatch and Tia moaned at the same time.

**_Summary: This is a story after Zatch becomes king-_**

"I become king?" Zatch exclaimed, jumping up. "Woot! Oh yeah! Uh huh!"

He began to jump around the room, doing the "In Your Face Dance" to all the other Mamodos. This lasted about 20 seconds until Tia knocked him out with a chair.

**_-and talks about the life of his kids. Enjoy!_**

**_One day in the Mamodo land King Zatch had to watch his children once again. Tia, his wife, had gone shoe shopping as usual._**

"Hey!" Tia whined, crossing her arms. "I'm not like that at all!"

"Ugh..." Zatch moaned, beginning to come to.

**_"Lazy bitch..." Zatch muttered._**

"Oh so that what you think of me, huh?" Tia exclaimed, taking a chair and knocking him out again. Brago and Sherry couldn't help but snigger.

"Shut up," Megumi said, turning the chair around to glare at them. "Or the next story we read is BragoSherry."

They shut up.

**_Zatch turned his attention back to his children, Fred Bell-_**

"Oh wow, the author must have put a lot of work into that name," Li-En muttered. Wonrei had long since passed out from lack of air.

**_- and Tina Bell. Fred was a lot like his mother, tough and spunky-_**

"Well at least the author's nailed my personality perfectly," Tia stated, smiling triumphantly.

**_-but unlike her he actually had a heart._**

Tia's smile dropped. Her vain popped a bit. Megumi coughed.

"And to think this person is a ZatchXTia supporter," Megumi said, her eyes shifting around nervously, thinking maybe she should tie up Tia before she killed someone.

**_Tina was more like her dad, outgoing and curious, always advernturing. She was super pretty too-_**

"Oh God not another one!" Megumi and Tia shrieked at the same time, both falling out of their chairs. "Mary Sue! Make it go away! Make it go away!"

Both girls curled up into fetal postions, rocking back and forth. Sherry stepped up to take Megumi's place.

**_- and could get any boy she wanted. _**

Sherry gagged at the stupidity, but continued reading.

**_"I'm home!" Tia's voice rang through the room. _**

**_"Mommy!" the kids squealed, ranning up to the tall, pinked haired woman with a handful of bags. Tia smiled. It was so great being wife to the king, having all the money you could spend. Zatch glared her._**

**_"Where's my beer?" Zatch exclaimed, slamming his fist down on the throne._**

The group stared at Zatch. Zatch (who had just come to), shifted his eyes towards Tia nervously. Luckily, she wasn't paying attention, as she was too busy trying to get over the fact she had a Mary Sue for a daughter.

"I'm... not like that..."

**_Tia glared back at him._**

**_"Beer beer beer! That's all you think about. Never me!"_**

**_Zatch slammed his fist down on the throne again._**

**_"Dammit bitch I want my friggin' beer!"_**

"I'm not like that!"

**_Tia throw her bag at his head, knocking him out of his chair. The kids ran screaming._**

**_"Oh screw you!" she shrieked, taking off her shoes and tosing them at his head. "It's always about you isn't. You selfish ass!"_**

**_"Me selfish?" Zatch roared, stomping over to her. "You just married me for my money. I could just slap you!"_**

The group gasped. Zatch started sweating.

_"Oh please don't let Tia wake up before the end of this horrible story," _Zatch begged in his mind, near sobs.

**_"Oh go ahead!" Tia yelled in his face. "Try it!"_**

**_So Tia and Zatch ripped off their coats and got ready to fight. Tia got out some boxing gloves and Zatch got out some..._**

"Ugh," Sherry groaned, rubbing her temple. "I can't read anymore. God that was bad. I need an Asprin."

Zatch sighed in relief. Sherry held her forehead in her hands, rubbing it gently. Folgore sighed and tapped her out of the way, taking her place.

"The sad thing is'a," Folgore muttered, clicking the back button. "Is'a that it'a had an almost interesting plot idea, but the author ruined it by turning it'a into a story about an unhappy couple to'a say the least."

The group nodded in agreement.

"Mmemm," Kanchome muttered (still tied up), as though trying to agree. The group then turned their attention back to Megumi and Tia, who were now fast asleep.

"Are... they gonna be okay?" Sherry asked, staring down at the quiet, sleeping girls.

"Ah, they'll'a be okay," Folgore stated, waving his head as though it was nothing. "Kiyo passed out almost twice, so did Wonrei and Suzy. It's nothing. But... erm... you'a might wanna let go of Wonrei's neck there Li-En..."

"They're coming to take me away haha hehe hoho!"

"Shut up Kiyo!" The group yelled in unison.

* * *

**Like I said before, I hope no Zatch's kids writers found this to offensive. That is not my intention. Anyway, next up: Possibley a Gary Stu.**

**Oh yeah, I almost forgot! -hands Tina to Shadow Sora94's OC** **Masumara- Ehehe... :D Enjoy!**


	18. Gary Stu, oh Crap

**A/N: Okay, since some people have been requesting this for so long, here he is. The dreaded, the horrible... GARY STU! Oh, and since we're on the topic of Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus, I just took a Mary-Sue test to see how much of a Sue Beatifulica (you remember her from chapter 3-4, right? ;D) is, and she scored a whopping 234 (bad for someone who is serious with their character, good for me because that's the point XD).**

**Don't own anything... except the Stu, and I really wish I didn't.**

**Oh, and a note: I noticed when I uploaded this into the documents manager that some of the words seem to stick together, and everytime I parted a few, another pair would go and get stuck together. So I apologize for this and hope this fic is still readable.**

* * *

"Kay, what else'a we got here?" Folgore muttered as he browsed through the stories. They had been here two and a half hours, and still had found nothing worth laying their eyes upon ever again. The group often found themselves wondering why they didn't just exit the site, leave, and get on with their lives. Everytime though at least one person had to check to see if there was something worth laying their eyes upon. Anything!

**_Every Girl's Man_**

**_By Mrhotty_**

Folgore raised his eyebrow.

**_Summary: Kron is a handsome mamodo boy who came to earth. Unknown to everyone else, he is actually our soon to be saviour_**

Folgore cringed in disgust and groaned.

"Ugh... Gary Stu," he murmured, cursoring over to the back button he so longingly wanted to click.

"What did you say!" Kiyo exclaimed, startling Folgore. The young teenager jumped up from his awkward position and walked over, still half naked. Folgore gave him a look.

"Oh, you're'a feelin' better."

"Told ya he'd be fine in a few minutes," Megumi croaked quietly, still curled up in a fetal position, breathing heavily.

"Uh... yeah..." Kiyo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Sooooo, who, or what, is this 'Gary Stu'?"

The whole group turned their heads towards the young Italian man, as though expecting the answer. Folgore took a deep breath, to prepare himself for the horror he was about to explain.

"A Gary Stu is the male version of Mary Sue," Folgore began. The part of the group who had suffered through Beautifulica shuttered, the rest stared at him confusedly. "Also known as Larry Stu or Marty Stu. He'a is an overly perfect male with extremely manly features,-"

"Doesn't sound too bad," Megumi smirked, sitting up, Tia following. Folgore shot her a glare and continued talking.

"A handsome face, and often times, an overly-large... uh... yeah..."

Brago let out a disapproving hiss, flaring his nostrils and griding his teeth in disgust.

"Sound too disgustingly perfect," Brago clinched his fists, making a face. "He does not deserve to live."

"Good thing he wasn't here while we were reading Beaufulica's story," Zatch whispered to Kiyo. Kiyo couldn't help but nod in agreement.

"Well, since we'a already know it's'a gonna be bad, in that'a case we'a won't have to be readin' it," Folgore decided, smiling to himself as he was about to click the back button.

"Oh no you don't!" Megumi exclaimed, jumping up and knocking the blonde out of the seat. The males of the group gasped. "Us girls had to suffer through Beautifulica,-"

"Um, we weren't here," Sherry and Li-En stated in unison (by now Li-En had let go of WonRei's neck and he was now laying on the floor, half alive, gasping). Megumi ignored them.

"So now you guys the suffer through him," she finished. The males gave a dramatic gasp.

"It was her idea to read the rest of the Sue fic in the first place," Kiyo said quietly, crossing his arms and pouting.

**_Kron was the most handsome, talented, and sexy mamodo boy in the universe._**

The males groaned.

**_Even though he was only 16, he was completely built like he had been working out for decades. He had a hot six pack and a body that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous._**

The group gasped.

"Impossible!" Kiyo shouted, pointing at the screen accusingly. How he even knew of Arnold Schwarzenegger despite being in the middle of Japan is a question I am unable to answer. It makes about as much sense as the fact that they're speaking English in Japan.

**_His hair was long, wavy, and blonde. He had also had everygirl he could ever dream. But he was not happy. He knew that one day Zofis would take over the world-_**

"WHAT!" the group screamed in unison.

**_and he was the only one who would be able to stop this. It wasn't fair, Kron just wanted to spend time and sleep with all the gorgeous women he could._**

"This guy makes Folgore look like a virgin gentleman," Kiyo whispered to Zatch.

**_He didn't want to waste time saving this dumb world._**

"Our world is going to end and all you care about is women?" Megumi slammed her fists down on the keyboard, causing the computer to make a strange beeping noise. "There is no way I'd be getting into bed with you."

**_One day, when handsome, hot, and manly Kron was walking down the streats, searching for his book reader, he found her. Megumi Oumi, the woman he would marry one day._**

Megumi slammed her head down on the desk in disbelief. The group snickered.

"On second thought," Brago moved Megumi out of the chair, taking her seat and continuing where she left off. "This might not be so bad."

**_"Hey there," he said in a sexy, deep voice that sounded like a cross between Gerard Way and Pete Wentz._**

Brago raised his brow. "And who are these 'Gerard Way' and 'Pete Wentz' they speak of?"

Kiyo thought for a minute.

"Erm, I think they're American singers.

"Ah, thank you."

"Honestly, I don't their voices are all that sexy," Megumi stated, shrugging her shoulders. The whole group gasped dramatically in unison.

"How could you say that?" Tia yelled, waving her arms around wildly as thought Megumi had said the most unbelieveable thing in the world.

"The fans aren't gonna like'a that..." Folgore said, his eyes shifting.

333

_In another universe... again_

The writer of "Zatch Bell and the Fanfiction Adventure" is staring at her computer screen, biting her nails.

"I'm going to pay for making Megumi say that, aren't I?"

Suddenly, she hears the screams of MCR and FOB fans at her door. They don't sound happy as they bang at her door, but at least they don't have Yaoi Paddles.

"Shit," she curses, grabbing Muttsy. "We have to get out of here. To the Cutelilteen Mobile!"

The Batman logo with her and Muttsy's faces on it spins in and off of the screen. She then jumps into her closet, apparently searching for this vehicle.

"Crap, where'd I park it again?"

333

**_Megumi looked at him. She felt herself getting all hot and almost came all over herself._**

Megumi sat on the floor, twitching.

**_"Hey," she said in a squeaky voice, she just HAD to get him into bed tonight. _****_She had already done Kiyo, Folgore, Zatch, Zeno,Brago, WonRei, Sunbeam, Dr. Riddles a_****_nd Ponygon-_**

The group couldn't help it, they burst into tears of laughter.

"And you'a think I'm a pervert," Folgore snorted, clutching his stomach from laughter. "You'a just slept with two six year olds, an old man,and a horse."

"It's a good thing I'm not taking this seriously," Li-En laughed, hugging her half dead WonRei close. "Or I'd probably kill you."

WonRei wheezed a bit. Megumi went to bang her head against a wall. So much for tormenting the guys, that idea backfired horribly.

**_so she needed someone new. Kron was so hot and manly, much better looking than Folgore. Megumi remembered how Folgore cried after 10 seconds of her sex because he was really gay-_**

This time the laughter was directed at Folgore. His face dropped.

"Hey... I'm'a not gay!"

"Other fics say differently," Kiyo snorted, covering his mouth.

"Ah shut'a up!"

**_and was doing it with Kanchome._**

The group shuddered and stared at Folgore, who was beginning to look deathly pale.

"MMMMGMM MMMMMMM!" Kanchome screamed under the duct tape, kicking at the chair violently.

"Shouldn't we untie him now?" Zatch whispered to Kiyo.

"Nah, this is kinda amusing actually," Kiyo whispered back.

**_"Can you help me?" Sexy man Kron asked her. Megumi walked over to him sexily, her big tits bouncing as she came._**

"Hardly," Kiyo muttered under his breath. This earned him a bruise on the face and a bloody nose.

**_"Yeah baby," she said in her super sexy voice. Kron felt himself getting hard._**

"This is really all the author cares about, isn't it?" Brago sighed, rubbing his temple.

"Yep," the group answered in unison.

**_"I'm a mamodo in need of a reader," he said, looking her over. "Could it be you?"_**

"He may be extremely handsome, but he obviously doesn't have brains. You don't just blurt out you're a Mamodo just like that," Zatch sighed, shaking his head. "Foolish, foolish boy."

**_Megumi whipped her hair back. She was so turned on by this guy._**

"Yes, yes I get it already," Megumi moaned into her hands. "I can't get enough of this guy, now can we PLEASE get on with the plot!"

**_"I'm sorry to say I already have a mamodo," Megumi said, but she was willing to ditch Tia for this hunk though._**

Tia's eyes widened. Megumi started to panic.

"Megumi..." The little girl whimpered, tears welling up in her big, pink eyes.

"No, Tia, no!" Megumi exclaimed, grabbing the small child and hugging her close. "I would never do that to you!"

**_But then suddenly a bunch of other girls and some gay guyscame running up to him because he was sooooo hot! Even Li-En, Tia, Suzy,Sherry, and Folgore were there. Folgore gave theloudest fangirlish squeal of all._**

By now, the group (besides Folgore and Kanchome) were rolling on the floor in tears of laughter.

"Why does'a everyone think I'm'a gay?" Folgore whined, pouting like a small child.

"Could be the stupid outfit," Brago answered, snickering as he pulled himself back onto the chair. Folgore looked around, confused.

"What's'a wrong with'a my outfit?"

The group stared at him in disbelief.

**_Megumi started getting jeleous._**

**_"Back away from my man!" she yelled, clinging to him. "He's MINE!"_**

**_Kron grinned. It was great being so hot and sexy and manly and awesome and attractive-_**

"-And so very modest," Megumi finished, rolling her eyes.

**_and hunky. Wow, it was great being him. He flexed my sexy arms-_**

"Wait a sec!" Megumi said, managing to stop Brago from reading anymore. "Did the author just say 'my' instead of 'his'?"

Folgore sighed and nodded his head.

"Yes, yes he did," Folgore shook his head sadly. "Suthors and Stuthors often do this'a at times. Sometimes purposely, sometimes not. All we'a know is'a that this'a usually happens at least once in a Sue fic."

The group exchanged looks of disbelief among each other, pondering this new found fact.

"So in a way," Megumi finally spoke up, shifting her head around to look at the otherconfused faces. "The Sue or the Stu is like the altra-ego of the author?"

Folgore nodded.

"Exactly."

The whole group gagged. The authors were more pathetic than they thought.

**_and smiled at the hotties._**

**_"Sorry, but she's right," Kron put his arm around Megumi. "Today she's my baby. Maybe tomorrow we can have a few quickies when I get bored of her."_**

**_"Oh Kron," Megumi sighed._**

Megumi could feeling her vein throbbing in her forehead. She tried covering it up with her hand.

**_The girls and Folgore squealed. "okay!" they agreed. Kron smiled and put his sexy, manly arm around Megumi._**

**_"Let's go screw now, kay?"_**

**_"Hell yeah baby!" Megumi said, jumping into his hot arms and feeling his manly, hairless six pack. And they went home._**

**_End!_**

"Thank God," Brago sighed, rubbing his head. "I had no idea anything could be that bad."

Kiyo and Zatch exchanged looks and grinned.

"We'll have to make him read 'Teh Bestest Fic Ever!' later on," Kiyo whispered to Zatch, who snickered and nodded his head in agreement. Brago, having not heard what the other two boys had said, was already searching for a new fanfiction to read.

"Please, for the love of all things good," Megumi begged, coming back from banging her head against a wall several times. "Pick out something worth reading. I beg you!" Megumi fell to her knees, clutching the rather annoyed Brago's gothic looking fur jacket.

"Why, what's wrong with them?" A familar voice said from behind the group. The group all turned their attention to the door behind them.

Sunbeam and Ponygon had arrived.

* * *

**Weeeeellll hopefully I managed to write a half-decent and convincing Gary-Stu. To be truthful, I've never read a Stu fic so I probably over-exaggerated him a bit. Okay, I guess that's sort of the point, but whatever. Next up: Maybe SherryBrago, but I'm not sure yet.**

**Oh, and no offence to MCR and Fall Out Boy fans. They're cool, really. So you can untie me now...**

**Please?**


	19. SherryBrago

**A/N: Okay fans, here you go, a SherryBrago fic. Since I've been making them read a lot of stories on pairings, this might be the last pairing fic they read. I own nothing. **

* * *

Well, the truth was that Ponygon had been outside in his little dog house and had no interest in what the group was doing up in Kiyo's room. However, it's common knowledge that the moment he sees Sunbeam, he wouldn't be much more than a metre behind him.

"Ah, you're here," Kiyo muttered, turning his attention away from the confused two and back to Brago. "Well, you might as while take a seat anywhere you can find room."

The man and pony exchanged looks with each other. This may have been the strangest looking get together they had ever seen. Sunbeam couldn't seem to stop looking at Kiyo.

"Kiyo," he said slowly, looking him over with slight disgust. "Why are you half-nak-"

"Don't ask," Kiyo interrupted quickly, realizing his lack of clothes and reaching for his jeans. Brago cleared his throat loudly and glared at the noisy new-comers.

"Look, they'll explain everything later. Right now just let me read," a small flame sparked in Brago's eyes, warning them. The two quickly sat down, right next to the tied up Kanchome. Ponygon starting sweating slightly.

"Meru meru me," the tiny pony mamodo whimpered, trying to scoot as far away from Kanchome as he could.

**_The Day I Found You_**

**_By SherryIsSweet_**

"Aw, I had no idea I had fans," Sherry blushed, flattered.

"Trust me, we're as surprised as you are," Megumi said quietly, making sure Sherry wasn't able to hear her. She was lucky.

**_Summary: Sherry talks about how Brago changed her life._**

"Well, he DID change my life in a good way, I'll give him that," Sherry gave her mamodo a sweet smile, who in return blushed and turned back to the computer screen quickly, his eyes wide with shock. The younger members of the group let a few small giggles escape.

**_I remember life before Brago._**

"Well of course," Sherry responded, rolling her eyes at the ignorance of the author. "I'm not some amnesic moron."

Zatch cleared his throat, slightly offended. Sherry sweated a little and laughed nervously.

"Oh, uh, sorry Zatch."

**_So dull, so sad. _**

"Well it wasn't always THAT bad," Sherry muttered, her mood slowly changing from flattery to annoyance. "I may have not had the best home life, but Koko was always there for me, until..." she paused, sadly remembering her dear friend. "Does this so called 'fan' know anything about me?"

She grumbled to herself, annoyed. This wasn't turning out as good as she thought it would be.

**_I was so pitiful, so helpless before he came along. I was such a loser._**

"Ridiculous!" Sherry spat at the computer, regarding the fanfiction with a look of utmost disgust and rage. The rest of the group, fearing her reaction from the very beginning, backed as far away as they could from the angered young woman. Brago just wished someone would tell him to stop reading already.

**_But then he came, and I knew everything would be okay. I would no longer be such a dork._**

"And this person dares to call themself my fan!" Sherry roared, jumping up from her chair and pushing it over with all her might. It crashed noisily into the wall. The group were silent. Brago, however, continued reading.

**_He was so handsome, so perfect. He had such a hot six-pack._**

The group started snickering. Brago started sweating, looking to the group, to the blushing Sherry, and back to the computer.

"And how would I know?" she paused, thinking "Well, alright, I have seen him without a shirt before, but it's not like I've ever had the chance or the interest to take a great gander at it!"

**_Oh Brago, I remember the night we actually did it. Oh wow, it was amazing!_**

"WHAT?" Brago and Sherry shrieked in unison. The group just stared at them, wide eyed in horror. Brago and Sherry just sat there, their mouths opening and closing like a pair of fish, shocked. Luckly, this shock didn't last too long. It was Brago who managed to snap out of it first.

"I can't do this," Brago groaned, holding his head and turning away from the horrible fic from hell. "I'm sorry, I cannot read any futher. Some else can read on if they must."

With that, Brago left the seat and went to join the rest of the group, sitting down and crossing his arms like a stubborn child.

"I'll read," Wonrei volunteered, somewhat happy to get away from Li-En for awhile. Managing to pry Li-En's arms off of himself, he got up and walked over to the computer and sat down. Sherry banged her head down on the desk.

**_That night you made me laugh. You made me cry. You made me feel things I've never felt before. Oh god Brago, I love you._**

The group just had to chuckle a bit at the OOCness of Sherry. Sherry had given up on trying to defend herself. Funny what a two minute long fic can do to a person.

**_I'll always love you, Brago. I'll always remember you._**

**_I love you so much._**

Sherry refused to lift her head from the desk.

"Please... don't read anymore of that... please..." This was about as much humiliation as she could take. Wonrei shrugged his shoulders and clicked the back button. He was now used to the effects the fics were having on people. The new-comers, Sunbeam and Ponygon, just stared at the lump that was Sherry, horrified.

"Okay, could someone PLEASE explain this to me now?" Sunbeam said, wondering if he should run while he still had a chance, or stick around and see what was so bad about these fanfictions.

"Meru me!" Ponygon agreed, nodding his head wildly. Kiyo sighed, took a deep breath, and launched into a long, drawn out story about their discovery of "their" section, lemons, Mary-Sues, Gary-Stus, crack pairings, angst, slash, and all those other horrible things.

"...And that's about it," Kiyo gasped, stopping to take a breather. The two stared at him, wide eyed, mouths agape. The whole group was silent for a good two minutes. Finally, it was Sunbeam who spoke up first.

"Um... groovy?"

* * *

**A note to SherryBrago fans: I don't really think SherryBrago fics are fanfictions from hell, this is just how Sherry and Brago would see it (because of embarrassment XD), so you can stop throwing rotten food at me.**

**Oh, and I was wondering, should I throw in Dr. Riddles and Kido? You guys can decide.**


	20. The Battle of 3005

**A/N: Okay guys, you asked for it. Dr. Riddles and Kido will be making their appearance shortly, and so will a another certain pair. But I will tell you now, after these four come in, it will not be adding anymore characters. Seriously, Kiyo's room is getting really stuffed! Come on now people, we want them to at least move around a bit when they have those random panic attacks after reading a horrible story!**

**-cough- Erm, anywho, enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

Kiyo shook his head and wandered back over to Wonrei, leaning over him to see what he was looking at.

"Trust me, Sunbeam," Kiyo began, not even bothering to look at him as he spoke. "When you see some of these stories, you won't find them to be so 'groovy'."

Sunbeam twitched a bit. He obviously did not want to be here. He turned towards the door longingly. It was so tempting just to grab Ponygon and get the hell out of this place, to safety, to people who were sane.

"But, since you seem so interested in this," Kiyo said, causing Sunbeam to snap out of his thoughts. "Why don't you read?"

Sunbeam began to sweat. "Um," he said, looking at all the annoyed faces, then to the computer screen.

"Come on, Sunbeam," Megumi urged, giving him the evil eye. "We all had to read."

_"And look what it's done to you," _he thought, looking at the less-sane members of the group, who were either twitching, tied-up, or just being plain creepy. Course, come to think of it, since these people weren't completely sane, who knows what horrible things they would do to him. He gulped, then made the biggest choice he had ever made in his life.

"Alright," he agreed, sighing. "But please, let me try and find one that won't put me in the nut house."

Wonrei grinned and got up off the chair, stepping out of the way to let Sunbeam sit down.

"Knock yourself out," he muttered, wandering back over to Li-En, who squealed with delight and hugged him like the obsessive fan-girl she was. Wonrei sighed as his 'girlfriend' clung to him, just realizing he could have sat somewhere else.

Meanwhile, Sunbeam searched the site for a fanfiction that he would find worthy to lay his eyes upon.

"Oooh, this looks interesting."

**_The Battle of 3005!_**

"Wha...?" the group gasped, mouths hanging open, eyes blinking stupidly.

**_By FutureZatch12345_**

**_Summary: A story that takes place 1000 years in the future, and the next Mamodo battle begins._**

The group, now interested, moved a little closer to the computer to see this futuristic fanfiction.

**_The mamodo stared around her new surroundings. How strange this human world was. She watched as cars flew over her head._**

"Flying cars? SWEET!" Zatch practically slammed his face against the computer screen once he heard that. Sunbeam rolled his eyes and tried to pull the child off while attempting to continue reading this so called "horrible work from Hell".

**_Clutching her book, she walked along the chrome streets, searching for that ONE person who would be able to read her book. The sun shone on her golden hair, and she looked up. A large dome, called the Life Dome, covered and protected the city. This was to keep the human race safe from weasels, who had overpopulated the Earth in the year 2496._**

"...Okay..." Sunbeam muttered, raising his brow. "If this is what the future is like, I think I'll pass on it."

"Don't worry!" Zatch exclaimed, suddenly pulling out a pair of large, strange looking boots and quickly pulling them on. "I'll take care of i-"

"No!" Kiyo yelled, cutting the shocked child's sentence short. "We are not celebrating 'Weasel Stomping Day' again. Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Aww," Zatch sighed sadly, putting the boots, his favorite Weird Al cd, and a copy of Robot Chicken on dvd away. Why a six year old was watching Robot Chicken in the first place, we may never. It is just one of life's great mysteries.

**_Her name was Alex._**

"Wow, what an original name," Tia muttered sarcastically, but was quickly shushed by the rest of the group.

**_Alex Bell. She was the daughter of Zatch Bell and Tia._**

"Wait," Zatch said, turning his head head towards Kiyo and cocking it back in childish confusion. "I thought Tia and I had two kids named Tina and Fred."

"You were also a drunkard and a wife beater," Kiyo replied, smirking at him. This quieted Zatch down a bit as he turned to face a glaring and red faced Tia.

"Oh geez-"

**_It was the year 3005, meaning that 100 mamodo children had to fight to become king again. Their current king, Kanchome-_**

"WHAT?" The whole group, including Folgore, exclaimed, turning towards and gaping at the said mamodo child. Kanchome, although still tied up and gagged, was smirking triumphantly behind the duct tape.

"Oooo...kay. I'm just gonna pretend I didn't read that, and continue on with the story," Sunbeam stated after a long and rather awkward silence, his eye twitching in an odd way.

**_-was getting too old to do a good job, so it was time. Alex sighed, she hoped she would find her book keeper soon._**

**_"Hey there," a voice from behind her said. She looked up. Standing there was a man in an odd space suit._**

"Hey, it's Neil Armstrong!" Folgore suddenly cried out, jumping up and laughing to himself. This earned him many strange looks from the group. Noticing this, he sweatdropped and sat back down quietly. "Uh, sorry. Couldn't help'a myself."

**_"Where are your parents?" he said, bending down. Frightened, she cringed away a bit._**

"Pussy..." Brago said under his breath, turning away slightly. Kiyo, letting a noticeable groan escape his lips, slowly turned around to face the group.

"You know," he stated, clearly annoyed. "None of you are contributing to this with your random comments."

Brago, mocking him with hand gestures, simply pretend to not care what the "weak" human boy had to say and turned his back to him.

**_He smiled sweetly and reached for her hand slowly. Shyly, she took it-_**

"-and ends up kidnapped by this obvious pedophile. The moral; don't trust the nice man in the spacesuit!"

Kiyo's groan was much louder this time as he quickly turned his head towards the voice that belonged to Li-En.

"Will you people please just shut up!"

**_-and handed him her book._**

"And he burns it. The end."

"SHUT UP!"

**_And so starts Alex's battle._**

**_The End_**

Clicking the back button, Kafk Sunbeam rubbed his temple and turned back to the awaiting crowd.

"Well, what did you guys think of that?"

Shrugging, the group looked at one another, expecting someone to stand up and come up with the first answer. That someone ended up being Sherry.

"I thought the plot was slightly weak," she commented, after finally getting over the shock of the Sherry/Brago fic from hell. "But besides that it was alright."

"I didn't hear the story," a strange, but familar, voice said chuckling from behind the group, causing them to raise their heads in surprise. "But I'm sure it couldn't be THAT bad."

"That's right!" another voice, a child's voice, responded. "Cause the Doctor's read soooooooo many horrible stories, he'd know. Like, one time he even went into a coma for three days when he was a child 'cause the story he read was soooooo bad. Isn't that right, Doctor?"

"Kid...ding!"

"WHAT?"

"Oh for the love of..." Kiyo groaned, his vein throbbing painfully in and out of his forehead. "Okay, who the hell invited Doctor Riddles and Kido?"

* * *

**Yes, they're here. One more group will be coming after them, but after that that will be it.**

**Oh, and by the way, no offence to anyway who writes futuristic Zatch Bell stories. They're usually very good, as I've enjoyed the ones I've read.**


	21. TSATCZBFS part 1

**W00t! 10,000 hits meh friends! -throws party and tosses same confetti used for 100th reveiw celebration- Thank you all for the support through my one year of writing this! You guys are awesome!**

* * *

"Uh yeah, that'a was me. Sorry," Folgore fianally admitted, raising his hand sheepishly. "Thought they'd help brighten the mood."

Kiyo rubbed his temple slowly, trying his best not to turn around and strangle the nervous looking blonde. Of course, being the _gentleman _he was, Kiyo instead got up and showed his guests to a seat on the floor. Dr. Riddles, giving the boy an odd look, sat down slowly while Kido clung to his shoulder.

"What?" Kiyo asked rather coldly, sensing the Doctor's eyes studying him suspiciously.

"You don't seem to want us here."

"I honestly didn't want anyone here. It was his idea," Kiyo pointed his finger accusingly at Zatch, who shrunk into his seat nervously. Although Zatch didn't agree with Kiyo pushing the blame on him, he, at the moment, was not one of the people Zatch really wanted to argue with. Keeping his mouth shut and just listening quietly to Kiyo was all little Zatch could do to keep both him and Kiyo out of the hospital.

"Sooooo," Kido said, jumping off of the Doctor's shoulder excitedly and toddling over to Kafk, who was still sitting there staring at the computer screen. "Can we read one of these. Pleeeeaase, oh pleeeeaaase." Kido made sure to make himself sound extra whiny and annoying, one of the many things he enjoyed doing. Kiyo sighed and looked at Sunbeam, as though to say 'you're choice'. Sunbeam looked down at Kido, then at the rest of the group. He shrugged.

"Eh, sure. Why not?"

"Meru meru meeh," Ponygon whimpered, backing into a corner slowly, knowing something horrible was to come of this. The Doctor and Kido, however, were too busy staring at Kanchome to notice the mamodo's frightened reaction.

"Um, why is he tied up?" Kido asked, looking up at Kiyo in a nervous manner.

"Huh? Oh yeah, almost forgot about him," Kiyo replied, snapping back into the reality he was out of. "We'll untie him in a minute or so... maybe... Iunno..."

"MMMMHMHHHHBBMM!!" Kanchome screamed under the tape, rocking the chair back and forth violently, only to cause the chair to tip over and him not being able to pull himself back up, being tied up and all. That and the temporary knock-out he received when his head hit the ground. The group stared at his body for a good while.

"Soooooo," Sunbeam finally said after awhile, trying to ignore what had just happened. "Shall I read this one fanfiction I found?"

"Go ahead," The group mumbled reluctantly.

**_The Super Awesome Totally Cool Zatch Bell Fun Show!!_**

**_By MARIETHECOOLONE_**

**_Summary: A SUPER AWESOME HYPER FUNNY ZATCH BELL COMEDY SHOW ME AND MY FRIENDS DID WHEN WE WERE HIGH ON SUGAR! READ IT NOW!!_**

"Ooooh, this sounds goooood!!" Kido squealed, clapping his hands together with joy.

**_Marie the author walks carrying a bat for no reason whatsoever. The audience cheers madly_**

**_Marie: (in a deep evil voice)-_**

"Wait, she's a girl, right?" Kido said innocently. "Then how can talk in a deep voice?"

"Shh, just listen," Dr. Riddle's hushed.

**_Hello. My name is Marie. Welcome to TSATCZBFS._**

**_Zatch: (jumping out of nowhere) What's that stand for?_**

"Isn't it obvious?" Megumi said, rolling her eyes.

**_Marie: (points to the title)_**

**_Zatch: Oh._**

**_Marie: ANNNNYWAAAAAY, as I was saying-_**

**_Zatch: (twirls around, showing off his blue outfit and speaks in a gay lisp) Like my dress?_**

"IT'S NOT A DRESS!!"

"Well I'm officially creeped out," Sunbeam blinked.

**_Marie: No._**

**_Zatch: Ah f-ck you!_**

The whole group gasped in shock and dismay.

"Zatch!" Kiyo said sternly, turning towards the shaking child. "What have I told you about swearing?"

"But I... I didn't... it was... ah never mind!"

_**Marie: Whatever. Anyway, today at TSATCZBFS we will be hearing some of the characters deepest, darkest, and most private secrets.**_

The group gulped.

**_Zatch: Should I be scared?_**

**_Marie: (laughing evilly) Not yet. Anyway, our first guest is Kiyo! Come on out Kiyo!_**

"Crap," said the real Kiyo.

**_Kiyo walks out drunkenly with a empty bottle of rum in his hand_**

"Oh come on!" Kiyo exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. Zatch smirked at him.

"Now who's the drunkard, eh?"

"Shut up!"

**_Kiyo: (slurring) Why is the rum gone?_**

**_The audience laughs._**

**_Marie: So Kiyo, I hear you have a secret to tell us, hmmm?_**

**_Kiyo: (still slurring) I swear to drunk I ain't God..._**

**_Kiyo then throws up on the stage and passes out, falling into his own vomit. The audience gasps._**

The group, especially Sunbeam, were trying their hardest not to burst out laughing. Kiyo was hiding in a corner, sobbing quietly.

**_Marie: Ooookay... well I guess that's all we're gonna get out of Kiyo. NEXT!! Oh, and could someone please pull this body off the stage._**

**_While a worker pulls Kiyo off the stage Kanchome and Folgore run in_**

Folgore suddenly stopped laughing.

"Oh no..."

**_Marie: Oh no, not you two losers._**

"L-loser?!" This was a stab in the heart for Folgore. This was one of the first times he, the Great Parco Folgore, had been called a loser.

**_Folgore & Kanchome: What?_**

**_Marie: You guys suck ass! You do know you're only the comic relief, right?_**

"Suck?" Folgore whimpered. "Comic relief?"

**_Kanchome tosses the finger at her._**

Ironically, the real Kanchome was just coming to at the time.

**_Kanchome: F-ck off bitch! Go f-ck yourself, you stinking pile of sh-t._**

The group gasped again.

"My Lord... he's worse than Zatch," Li-En whispered in utter disbelief.

"I heard that!" cried Zatch.

**_Marie: Whatever Kanchome. Everyone knows your just angry because Folgore molests you every five minutes._**

The group promptly turned towards Folgore, who started sweating quite a storm.

"No!!" He cried, waving his hands around defensively. "I'a would never. Didn't I'a already explain that?"

**_Folgore: WHO TOLD YOU!!_**

Folgore started crying, earning him many digusted looks. Kanchome, however, was still too dazed to really notice what was going on.

**_The audience gasps again._**

**_Marie: Wow... kinda reminds me of another pop star._**

**_Suddenly Michael Jackson, the said pop star, moonwalks onto the stage._**

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Kiyo moaned, holding his head in his hands

"Well this author has an... interesting mind," Dr. Riddle said, trying to sound as positive as he could, but not doing a great job of it.

**_Marie: Oh no..._**

**_MJ: Hey there everybody, it's me, Michael Jackson! Eeee heee!_**

"Doctor... I'm scared," Kido whimpered, hiding behind Dr. Riddle's hat.

"We all are, Kido," Dr. Riddles replied, patting the boy's head, a disturbed look plastered on his face. "We all are."

**_Smooth Criminal starts playing in the background and the audience cheers madly as he moonwalks all over the stage. Then he notices Zatch and Kanchome._**

**_MJ: (in a super sexy voice) Hey there dress boy-_**

"IT'S NOT A DRESS!"

**_and little duck-faced boy. Wanna come down to Neverland with me for some fun?_**

**_Zatch & Kanchome: Sure!_**

**_MJ: Eeeee heee!!_**

**_MJ grabs the boys in his arms and flies off like Peter Pan, Folgore chasing after him._**

**_Folgore: Hey! That's MY underaged duck-faced boy!_**

**_Folgore runs off and an exploding sounds is heard for no reason at all. The audience is quiet._**

**_Marie: Oooookay... well next episode will hopefully be less random and- AH WHO AM I KIDDING THIS IS THE MOST RANDOM SHOW IN THE WORLD! WOO-HOO, PARTY PEOPLE!_**

**_The audience gets up and dances along with Marie as the curtains close._**

**_Marie: SEE YA NEXT TIME!!_**

Almost relieved, Kafk Sunbeam finally took his eyes away from that "interesting" fanfiction and turned to the group.

"Okay... that was... interesting. Shall I read the next chapter?

**You, my readers, can decide. Do they read the next chapter of _TSATCZBFS _or go on to a totally different story? Your choice.**


	22. TSATCZBFS part 2

**Okay, the fans have spoken. Looks like we're going to be reading the next chapter of TSATCZBFS. To those who didn't want this, erm, I'll make it up to you in the next chapter. XD**

**Oh, and I believe this could possibly be my longest chapter yet. Yay!**

* * *

"Why not," Kiyo grumble irritably, turning around to face his blandly colored wall. "They're done raping my character anyway. 'Marie' can do what she wants now for all I care."

Utterly horrified, The remaining group that had yet to be horrifically mutilated turned abruptly towards the boy, who was now intensely examining the bumps and cracks on his wall, seeing how many of his favorite cartoon characters and celebrities his imagination could make of them.

"Do we get a say in this?!" they cried out in unison. But it was too late, Sunbeam had already begun reading.

**_A/N: I don't own Zatch Bell, any of the characters, any songs in this fic, Paris Hilton, or Michael Jackson (but I wish I did -drools-)_**

"My God," Sunbeam choked, reading that line over again in his head. "This woman is bent."

"Meru meru meh..." Ponygon nervously agreed, backing into his corner even more and clutching his small legs close to his chest.

**_Chapter two: OMG!! MOAR CRAAAAAZZZZZYNESSS!!_**

The painfully horrible bastardization of the English language and over use of exclamation points was too much for poor, troubled Megumi to take. "Oh God... Oh God!" She gasped in terror, slowly beginning to hyperventilate. Luckily, Tia saw this coming and was quickly at her side with a cold cloth and a paper bag. Megumi gratefully accepted the bag and started breathing quick, deep breaths into it, Tia patting her back comfortingly.

"Shh," the pink haired girl whispered soothingly, continuing to rub her panicking book keeper's back. "It'll be okay."

**_The curtains open and Marie jumps backs on. The audience goes wild, chanting "Marie! Marie!"._**

**_Marie: HEEEELLLLLOOOOO PEEEEEOOOOPLLLLLEEE!!_**

**_Audience: Woohoo we lurve you Marie. I want to have your babies!!_**

Sunbeam took a moment to choke on that again.

**_Marie: I know, who doesn't?-_**

"I can think of a few people," Li-En grumbled to herself.

**_Anyway, today our first guests are gonna be... MEGUMI AND LI-EN!!_**

"NOOOOOO!!" the two said girls shrieked in unison. Megumi, who had almost calmed down, started breathing faster, more painful breaths into her bag.

**_Right on cue, Megumi and Li-En jump out onto the stage. The audience goes wild and a bunch of creepy, zitty-faced boys jump up with "I 3 Megumi" signs and t-shirts._**

**_Marie: It's nice to see you two. How are you?_**

**_Li-En & Megumi: We're pretty good._**

**_Marie: So I hear you guys have a few secrets to share with us, isn't that right?_**

**_L & M: That's right, Marie._**

**_Marie: So what are they?_**

**_Li-En: Well first we've become porn stars. _**

**_Megumi: We just love to have sex soooo much, so this was such an ideal job_**

"WHAT?!" the two girls shrieked again, this time more in rage than shock.

"With my talent, the hell I'd end up a porn star!" Megumi exclaimed, taking one last breath into the bag before crumpling it and tossing it over her shoulder in anger, hitting the half-awake Kanchome in the head.

**_The audience claps. Marie nods wisely._**

**_Marie: Cool. And your second secret is...?_**

**_Megumi: We've also become prostitutes. Another ideal job for us slutty sex addicts._**

**_Li-En: Tia is our pimp._**

Everyone turned in the direction of the startled pink haired child, who was constantly turning to look at the shocked faces of her friends.

"I... wha... um... huh...?" she babbled, not sure what to make of this.

**_Marie: That's pretty hot! But oh, there's one more secret you mean to tell us, correct?_**

**_Megumi: Yep!_**

**_Li-En: We think this is the right time._**

**_L & M: WE'RE LOVERS NOW!!_**

"AARRGGGH!!" screamed Li-En and Megumi, falling over in pure horror.

"For the hundredth time... I'm not a lesbian," Megumi sniffled pathetically, nearly in tears. Tia went to retrieve the paper bag, which was sitting about an inch away from Kanchome's head.

"Wonrei... is my only love," Li-En whimpered, crawling over to her mamodo and leaning her head on his lap as he rubbed her back sympathetically. Sunbeam sighed and stopped reading to turn and look at the crying, blubbering girls, almost feeling sorry for them.

"Don't worry," he sighed, rubbing his temple, hardly being able to believe such a stupid story could do that to a person. "Marie is almost done bashing you guys. Hold in there."

**_Megumi: We're bi if you haven't guessed yet._**

**_Li-En: We're swingers though so we'll sleep with other people too._**

**_Megumi: (laughing) Obviously._**

The two girls whimpered.

**_Marie: Well that's awesome! It was really nice talking to you_**

**_L & M: You too! Bye!_**

**_Li-En and Megumi run off the stage, holding hands._**

**_Marie: Well that's the last we'll see of those two sweet lil' lesbo lovers.-_**

"Thank you God!" Li-En sobbed, clutching her hands together and praying to the sky. "Thank you!"

**_Next up is KafkSunbeam and Ponygon!_**

Kafk coughed. "Crap," he cursed, briefly turning away from the computer in disgust. "I was so caught up in this that I forgot they had yet to bash me."

Sunbeam, being the brave, adult man he was, grudgingly continued on with the story anyway.

**_Sunbeam and Ponygon walk out. They're all dressed in hippie outfits, complete with the little peace necklace._**

"Oh," Sunbeam relaxed into his seat a bit. "This isn't so bad."

"Coming from the obvious ex-hippie," Kiyo muttered. Offended, Kafk turned around to face him.

"Hey! Just because I say 'groovy' once and awhile, doesn't automatically make me a hippie."

**_Sunbeam: Sup man. Groovy stage, man._**

"Okay," Sunbeam said, annoyed with the author's ignorance. "This is a bit of an exaggeration on the way I talk."

**_Marie: Thanks Sunbeam. So how have you been?_**

**_Sunbeam: Groovy man, totally groovy. Everything's been totally radical man._**

**_Marie nods slowly._**

**_Marie: The sixties weren't good to you, were they?_**

Sunbeam shook his head shamefully. "I wasn't even alive during the sixties," he sighed calmly, rubbing his poor, aching temple once again. "I'm not that old."

**_Sunbeam: Nope, man._**

**_Marie: That sucks. Anyway I was hoping to ask you-_**

**_Marie was interrupted suddenly when Sunbeam suddenly handed her a bong._**

Sunbeam slapped his head in pure disgust and embarrassment. Zatch slowly turned to face Kiyo.

"No Zatch," Kiyo sighed, practically reading the innocent child's curious mind. "I will NOT explain what a bong is."

**_Sunbeam: Wanna try some. It's totally cool man. Ponygon introduced me to this stuff._**

**_Ponygon: (totally stoned) Meeerrruuuu merrruuuu meeeeeeeehhhh... (falls over)_**

Ponygon, who had been holding in his emotions for so long now, finally couldn't take it any longer. He feel to the floor, sobbing and shaking violently as he screamed into his hooves. Sunbeam, being the only one who could actually calm him down gratefully left the computer to tend to the panicking horse.

"I have to calm him down," he said, cradling the crying mamodo gently in his large arms. "Someone else can continue on where I left off if they really must."

After a good two minutes of no one volunteering, Dr. Riddles finally sighed reluctantly and slowly got up, walking over to the computer and sitting down.

"I guess this is only fair," he muttered bitterly. "I'm the only one who hasn't read yet."

**_Marie: Umm, no thanks. Bongs are for losers._**

**_Audience: AMEN TO THAT SISTAH!_**

**_Sunbeam shrugs and tosses this bong aside._**

"Kiyo...?"

"No Zatch, I will still not explain to you what a bong is."

**_Marie: Soooooo Sunbeam, besides you being a creepy hippie/drug-addict, what is your most private, darkest, secretest secret ever?_**

**_Sunbeam thinks about this for a moment. Crickets chirp in his head. _**

**_Sunbeam: Iunno. I'm too stoned to remember anything really._**

Sunbeam, who had finally managed to calm the whimpering horse child down, shook his head and rolled his eyes with disgust. "Ridiculous."

**_Marie: Oh... well... um... I guess that's all for us, huh?_**

**_Sunbeam: Pretty much, yeah._**

**_Marie: Um... okay... well see you later._**

**_Sunbeam gets up, gives Marie and the audience a peace sign with his fingers, picks up Ponygon and leaves the stage. Marie, for once, is weirded out._**

**_Marie: Oookay, that was totally useless. OKAY! Next up is Dr. Riddles and Kido._**

"Doctor..." Kido wimpered, hiding behind the old man's hat.

"Don't worry, Kido," Dr. Riddles chuckled, patting the boy on the head. "It'll be okay. Besides, I have the magical power to change fanfictions at will if I don't like how the story's going."

Kido's puppet-like face suddenly brightened up. "Really Dr. Riddles? Is that true?"

The doctor couldn't help but let a small, mischievous grin crawl across his face. "Kid...ding!"

"WHA?!"

**_The audience claps wildly once again when the two walk onto the stage. They look pretty much normal._**

The two sighed with relief. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

**_Dr. Riddles: Hey there, sexy thang._**

"Crap," The old man cursed, slapping his head in disbelief.

**_Marie: (totally creeped out) Um... hi...?_**

**_Kido: Sorry, he gets like this sometimes. You see, he hasn't had sex in over 40 years.-_**

"Why in the world does that matter?" Dr. Riddles retorted, a hint of strain in his voice. Kiyo grinned.

"Oh, so it's true than?"

"Oh shut up!"

**_-He's even come on to me a few times_**

Kido whimpered and hid even further behinds his keeper's hat. "Doctor... she's scaring me..."

Dr. Riddles was too busy choking on air to answer right away. "Must everyone be -cough cough- either gay or a pedophile in this story."

**_Marie: Um... how nice... so I'm guessing this was the deep, dark secret you two were going to share with us today, correct?_**

**_Kido: Pretty much, yeah._**

**_Marie: Oookay... so anyway, Dr. Riddles-_**

**_Dr. Riddles: Oh no, don't call me Dr. Riddles. Call me Doctor LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE_**

**_Dr Riddles suddenly jumps up, rips off all his clothes leaving nothing but a small G-string man thong,-_**

The group, including Kido, were trying their hardest to not vomit at the mental image that was leaving in their brains.

"Oh for the love of..." Dr. Riddles sighed, hiding his face in embarrassment.

**_and starts dancing to "Milkshake"_**

**_Dr. Riddles: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And they're like, it's better than yours. Damn right! It's better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge..._**

**_Then suddenly Sherry and Brago jump on wearing skimpy dresses (yes, even Brago. Lol)-_**

Brago growled in distaste, but did not move.

**_and start singing and dancing backup. The audience and Marie gets up and starts singing and dancing along._**

**_Paris Hilton: (coming out of nowhere) That's hot!_**

**_Dr. Riddles: (stops singing) Oh you think? (smirks) How about you and me have a lil' fun tonight, eh Paris baby?_**

**_Paris: Totally! I haven't had sex in like... 15 minutes_**

"That," Dr. Riddles said, smiling a bit. "I can believe."

**_The song ends and Riddles and Paris run off stage to go have sex, Kido follows behind_**

**_Riddles: Come along Kido, if you hurry up we can all have a threesome._**

"Ewwww," Kido squealed, cringing in childlike disgust. "Hey... wait... what's a threesome?"

**_Kido: (sigh) Fine..._**

**_Kido quickens his pace and leaves, leaving just Marie, Sherry, and Brago standing there in shock._**

**_Marie: Um... okay... Hey! Since you two are still here, how about some more dancing?_**

**_Brago & Sherry: Sure thing_**

**_What Planet You On by Bodyrox & Lucianna starts playing. The two and Marie start breakdancing._**

**_Marie: WOOT WOOT!! Well that was pretty interesting and fun. I might end up getting sued by Makoto Raiku-_**

"Who?" The whole group questioned, completely oblivious to their own creator.

**_-BUT GOD DAMMIT I HAD FUN!!_**

**_Audience: Amen to that sistah! Amen to that!_**

**_Marie: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You guys are sooo sooo SOOO awesome!! Without you guys this show would be nothing!_**

**_Audience: Don't say that Marie, we love you!_**

**_Marie: Awww, so sweet. Tune in next episode when we talk to Zofis and Coco, Zeno and Dufort, and Leila and Albert. BUH-BYE!!_**

**_Marie blows kisses and disappears in a puff of smoke, the audience still cheering her on. The curtains close and the credits roll (even though we didn't even have credits in the first place but WHATEVER. This is the random show, remember that XD)_**

"Finally, it's over," Dr. Riddles breathed, glad to finally be able to avert his bleeding eyes from the screen. "If I have to suffer through something like that one more time, my head may explode. And this time I'm not kidding. Since I'm sitting here, I'LL be picking the next story."

Poor Dr. Riddles. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

* * *

**In case you guys didn't know or figure it out already, Makoto Raiku is the creator of Zatch Bell (Konjiki no Gash Bell) :)**


	23. Drabble

**This may be the last chapter I do for awhile. Don't worry, it's not the end yet, it's just I'm gonna be a bit busy for while and may not have time to update too often. Sorry. Also, this chapter may be shorter than a lot of the other chapters. This could be considered a "filler" chapter while I think of something more creative. Ideas for chapters are welcome (although I'd prefer something other than pairings, as I've already done quite a few of those).**

**Oh, and Aperson, I wasn't planning on writing a third chapter of TSATCZBFS, I just mentioned Laila as one of the characters "Marie" would end up bashing. And yes, I did spell her name wrong on purpose, glad someone caught on to that. ;)**

**Oh, and I'd like to thank Butterfree for not only for giving me some ideas for chapters, but also for giving me my 200th review! :D -gives Butterfree a plate of 20 freshly baked cookies- :D Enjoy! Oh, and as for Kido's book being burned, um, we'll just pretend this story happened before that. Ehehe... -nervous sweatdrop-**

* * *

With a few clicks of the mouse, Dr. Riddles was back on the main page of the Zatch Bell section. Eyeing his choices, he scrolled down a bit, making sure to read the titles and summaries slowly and carefully. He didn't plan on reading something that contained deep, descriptive sex between him and Kido or something revolting like that. Just by reading that one chapter of "TSATCZBFS", he already had an idea that some authors could be a little, ehem, "original" with their ideas. But, to his relief, after a bit of browsing and a careful eye, Dr. Riddles found something that seemed half interesting. He smirked.

**_Through Zatch's Eyes_**

Zatch flinched at the sound of his name. He honestly didn't want to undergo anymore torment than he had already been through.

**_By HopelessDrabbler_**

**_Summary: A small drabble about the mamodo battle. Zatch's POV._**

Dr. Riddles raised his eyebrow a bit, reading the summary over again. "What on Earth is a drabble?"

The group turned towards Folgore expectantly, hoping for an answer. Unfortunately, he simply shrugged and shook his head. He was as clueless as the rest of them.

"Uh, I've heard it'a before, but I'a just can't quite remember," he replied, tapping his head a bit as though he was trying to jolt his memory. "Sorry."

Crossing his fingers for luck, Dr. Riddles bravely went along and clicked the fanfiction anyway.

**_It's so sad. I have no memories of the mamodo world, and yet I know I can't lose this fight. I won't lose this fight! I have to become stronger! It hurts too much to be this weak._**

"Heh heh... angsty Zatch," Brago chuckled to himself, which was extremely out of character for him.

**_Too many innocent mamodos have been hurt in this battle, all because they were too weak to stand up to evil._**

"Oh! So you're saying that just because I've been hurt a few times I'm automaticallyweak?!" Tia exclaimed, putting Zatch into a neck lock before he had a chance to escape.

"-cough cough- Tia!" he choked, trying to pull away from the mad girl from Hell.

**_There is too many evil in the mamodo world! I won't stand for it. I have to become king, for Kiyo. For Tia, Kanchome, Ponygon, and Kido who were sent back,-_**

Tia screamed in rage and continued to choke Zatch with all her might. "Why must we always be the ones to loss!" She shrieked, tossing Zatch around like a helpless ragdoll.

"That's not true!" he retorted, desperately trying to pull her arms off his neck. "Kanchome was king in one fanfiction."

That statement simply caused her more anger and Zatch more pain.

**_-for Kolulu._**

Kiyo rolled his eyes, flashing Zatch a bit of smirk before turning back around and chuckling to himself. This was too good.

"What?" Zatch asked, finally managing to ply Tia's arms off his throat. Kiyo snickered mischievously.

"Oh you know what I mean, Mr. Lover Boy,"

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

**_I will win this fight, and I will become a kind king!_**

And that was it. Dr. Riddles suddenly stopped reading and stared at the screen in surprise. For a moment he sat there blinking, then scrolled down in an attempt to find more of the missing story. Nothing. Dr. Riddles coughed nervously, not sure what to do exactly.

"Well, are you going to continue reading or not?" Kiyo asked, starting to get tired of waiting.

"That's it."

"Huh?"

"That's it," the Doctor repeated, beckoning Kiyo over to prove it to him. "That's all there is to this story."

Astonished, Kiyo began reading through the story in his head once again, in a feeble attempt to find something to prove the Doctor wrong. It only took Kiyo perhaps only one and a half minutes to read the short little story that was probably only a mere one hundred words long. Dr. Riddles was in fact right about it. Kiyo blinked, dumbstruck.

"But... but... why?" Kiyo babbled pathetically, beginning to show signs of insanity again. He was quickly snapped out of this when Megumicuffed him over the head with the back of her hand.

"Don't," she hissed, obviously stressed out and irritated. "We don't need to see your horrible Gollum impression again."

Meanwhile, Wonrei, quite disappointed with the fic, jumped up from the floor and emitted a rather loud groan, throwing his arms up into the air and wondering over to the wall.

"Great! A fanfiction that actually doesn't sound too bad and it ends up being probably less than a hundred words. Just brilliant!"

"Well I kind of liked it," Li-En said quietly, getting up and putting her arms around Wonrei affectionately, in an attempt to calm him down a bit. "It was sweet and to the point, just how I like it."

"I agree," Sherry nodded, looking up to flash her a small grin. "Most of these long ones have been nothing but torture, at least this was too short to actually do any harm."

Suddenly, Folgore jumped up, his pointer finger raised proudly to the sky. Apparently he remembered something and he planned on sharing it with the group.

"Ah, I remember now! A drabble is'a..."

"We know!" the group shouted in unison, causing Folgore to sit down, embarrassed and ashamed.

"Oh... um... well... heh... I'll be quiet now than..."

**Again, sorry this was so short. Next chapter will be longer. And no offence to those who write drabbles, I like drabbles.**


	24. Twincest, ZatchZeno

**A/N: LA GASP! I'm back! And I finally have an update for you all. So sorry for keeping you all waiting. I... uh, took a longer break than I thought I would, eh heh... Thank you all for waiting, and enjoy this next chapter!**

* * *

Kiyo was annoyed. In fact, that was an understatement. Kiyo was _very _annoyed. Firstly, it was the fact that he'd decided to waste his precious studying time on this Site of Horrors. Secondly, one of the few stories that was actually good was maybe only a mere one hundred words long. And lastly, there were currently some uninvited people coming up the stairs and making their way to his room when it was already bloody crowded enough!

"Who is it now?" He snapped, whipping the chair he was on around angrily to face the door. He regretted speaking those words in such a harsh tone, however, when the two mystery guests appeared in the doorway.

"Why Kiyo," said the one person, a paler version of Zatch, flashing Kiyo a grin that would make the toughest man shudder. "Is that anyway to talk to someone who is practically... family?"

The boy then let loose an ear-splitting, terrifying, maniacal laugh. A laugh that you would expect to hear from a psychopathic small child who had just finished killing his parents with the large cleaver mommy had prevously told him not to touch.

"Zeno!" Zatch hissed, while Kiyo made a mad grab for Zatch's spellbook. The duo, however, came ready. With a simple snap of his fingers, Zeno had his bookkeeper, Dufort, pull his own spellbook from out of his jacket.

"I would be more careful, brother," Zeno stated coldly, his grin fading into more of an unamused frown. "With a simple raise of my hand I could kill everyone in this room in seconds."

By now, every mamodo and bookkeeper (besides Kanchome, who could only grunt and rock the chair he was tied to) had the duo surrounded. Zeno looked around at them boredly, sighed, and simply made his way passed the shocked group and over to Kiyo.

"You're not giving me a chance to explain," he hissed, causing Kiyo to recoil back a bit.

"What do you want?" Kiyo whispered, glaring into the child's hard, grey eyes.

"Simple," Zeno replied, laughing ironically. "I just want to see these fanfictions."

Everyone paused, frozen in shock. It seemed like, for a good five minutes, the whole world went totally silent. There was not even a chirp of a bird to break that silence. It was Kiyo who finally broke the awkwardness with two simple words.

"You... what?" he spat, staring at the child, then at Dufort with complete disbelief. Zeno rolled his eyes.

"You heard me. I. Want. To. Read. Fanfiction. Must I spell it out for all you stupid imbeciles?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got that," Kiyo said quickly, waving his hand irritatedly in the boy's face. "But how did you know about this?"

Zeno grinned. "I have my ways."

"That really doesn't answer my question," Kiyo grumbled, narrowing his eyes.

333

_Back at ZBATFA Head Quarters (yes, I now have an HQ in my dream world)..._

Cutelilteen paces back and forth repeatedly in her large, well-secured titanium room, clutching Muttsy in her right hand while chewing on her nails on the other hand. Printers run wild, spitting out as many requests and comments from fans as they can. Workers run around wildly, trying to collect as many papers as they can from those ever-running printers.

"Miss Cutelilteen," one of the employees says, trying to balance a stack of papers in his arms. "There have been an awful lot of people requesting that you add Zeno and Dufort into the batch. And for a good reason to. They want you to make them read a certain kind of fanfiction containing Zeno and Zatch doing... well, you better read this."

He hands her a piece of paper, which she takes gently with her nail-bitten left hand and skims through.

"My God!" she exclaims, dropping the paper and recoiling back in horror and disgust. "They want me to make them do WHAT? That's... that's... digusting!"

"Well, ma'am," says another employee from the back, currently trying to turn off one of the printers with one hand while refilling another with paper with the other hand. "You were able to have them read about Kanchome and Folgore having a sexual relationship, and a lesbian orgy containing Li-En, Megumi, and Suzy, and must I mention-"

"Yes, yes, you're right," Cutelilteen interrupts, bending down to pick the paper up. She reads through it once more and sighs. "Well if it will make the fans happy... this room is Yaoi Paddle proof... right?"

Employee #1 rolls his eyes. This wasn't the first time he'd heard that question. _"I'm not getting payed enough to deal with this weeaboo airhead" _

"Yes, Miss C., the room is made entirely out of titanium, the type of metal used in aerospace. No half-crazed fanboy or fangirl with deformed Cricket paddles will ever be able to get through."

"Oh... good," she mutters, her eye twitching unusually. Employee #1 groans in exasperation.

"Miss C.," he sighs, slowly raising his hand towards his temple. "Did you remember to take your pills today?"

"Yes," she grumbles, pouting like a small child. "The voices made me."

333

Zeno frowned and pushed Kiyo out of the way in order to get a better look at the computer screen.

"Dufort, come here," he said quietly, beckoning his reader over. The man silently obeyed, walking over and taking a seat by the computer. Zeno then turned to the group "All of you, sit down," he commanded. The group obeyed, still too shocked to actually do anything that was in the least bit construtive or helpful. Zeno smirked, pleased that he could still control people ever so easily even when he wasn't battling.

"What is he doing?" Zatch whispered to Kiyo, making sure he was extra quiet so his "dear" brother didn't hear. Kiyo replied with a shrug.

"Dufort will be reading to all of you from now on," Zeno informed the group. "And I don't want to be hearing any complaints, is that clear?"

"What?" Zatch and Kiyo both said in chorus. Dufort was a man of very few words, and actually hearing him speak more then a couple of words was just a little... too weird. Hey, not to say he was a total mute, he just... didn't have a lot to say. That didn't seem to be a problem to either Zeno or Dufort, as Dufort was already scanning through the fanfictions.

"So you're really here... to read?" Kiyo uttered the words with reluctance, still not completely sure if he should believe him or not. Again, Zeno ignored the comment, instead watching his reader intensely. Dufort had found something. Slowly, the man opened his mouth to speak...

**_My Brother, My Love_**

**_By XXXDarkKissesintheNightXXX_**

**_Summary: The Mamodo battle is over. Zeno and Zatch have settled their differences and have become rather close. But how close is that...?_**

A small spasm from Zeno's throat interupted Dufort's reading. The summary was that sickening.

"Ugh... so this is what you weaklings have been exposed to."

"Weakling..." growled Brago, cletching his fists and standing up, only to be pulled back down by Sherry. Zeno ignored that.

**_Zatch tossed and turned in his bed. He moaned, disturbed by his dreams. Dreams of the events that happened so long ago. Even though he was sixteen, and the mamodo battled had ended years ago, the memories still haunted his dreams almost every night._**

**_"N... no..." he moaned, tugging his covers closer to his face.-_**

Zeno snickered.

**_Azure tears began to stream down his tightly closed eyes. The dreams... the memories... No... No!... Kiyo... I... I...-_**

"The use of all these pauses are giving me a headache," groaned Folgore, clutching his spinning head.

**_I... No!... Please..._**

**_"Zatch!" a harsh voice awoke the boy from the nightmare. Zatch started and looked up. There standing there was his twin brother, topless. The moonlight from the window shone on his naked grey skin, showing up every detail of his young but masculine body.-_**

"Excuse me, what?" Zeno interrupted, coughing. "And why exactly are we focusing on those tiny details?"

**_"Zeno..." Zatch sighed, looking up into his twin's dark, lustful eyes. "I... was having a bad dream. I apologize for waking you."_**

**_"No Zatch... it's fine," muttered Zeno, taking at seat on the edge on the bed near his brother and touching his hand. "What seems to be causing such horrible dreams for you?"_**

**_Zatch shook his head, embarrassment heating his face. "It's nothing."_**

**_"Now brother," said Zeno sternly, smirking mischievously and moving his hand on Zatch's thigh, squeezing it slightly._**

"Wait, what?" Zeno burst out, circling his blushing book-keeper's chair. "I may be young, but I'm am old enough to realize when something is something is very wrong. In this case, it is that story."

"Kiyo," Zatch whimpered, tugging the boy's shirt. "Why is Zeno touching me like that?"

"Oh my God..." moaned Kiyo, cupping his face in his hands, absolutely mortified.

**_"You know you can tell me anything." Zeno then moved his hand down even more, causing Zatch to turn the deepest color of red._**

The twin boys gaped at the screen, speechless.

**_"Z...Zeno..." Zatch moaned, half with embarrassment, half with pleasure._**

"Oh God... Oh my God!" sobbed Megumi, trying desperately not to imagine what was about to come next.

"Dear God, cover your ears Kido," Dr. Riddles hissed in horror, covering the surprised child's ears. The children, although realizing something was terribly wrong with the fanfiction, still hadn't have seemed to entirely catch on to what was happening. Lucky for them, because if Zeno had figured it out, they may have all be dead by then.

**_"Tell me..." Zeno whispered seductively, slowly lying down beside his brother. Zatch could feel his body getting hotter and hotter._**

**_"The... battles," Zatch whispered. "Mamado battles... so many were hurt... so many..."_**

**_"Oh Zatch," Zeno breathed, moving his face closer to his brother's. "That's what has been bothering you?"_**

**_Zatch blushed. Zeno grinned. _**

**_"My brother, you don't have to be scared anymore, you have me now."_**

**_Zeno pulled the covers over himself, pressing himself against his quivering twin._**

**_"I know what will make you feel better," Zeno whispered, unzipping his brother's pants and reaching his hand down in them. The lust in his face was becoming more obvious with every second._**

**_"Z...Zeno..." Zatch moaned, pulling away slightly._**

**_"Don't resist, my brother," Zeno pulled down his pants, Pressing himself against his brother even harder as he pulled down Zatch's unde-_**

"Oh God! Oh God! Please stop! Please..." Kiyo whimpered, sobbing into his hands like a frightened young child. "No more... no more. Please, I can understand brotherly love, but this..."

"K-Kiyo," Zatch stuttered, too young to understand what was really going on in the fanfiction, but old enough to realize something was truely wrong with it. "What do you mean? What's wrong?"

"Zatch... no... please... don't make me explain it... please..."

Zeno and Dufort blinked. Dufort chewed on his lip nervously. He slowly slipped out of the chair and pushed it towards Zeno, backing away into a wall.

"Yes... well..." muttered Zeno, taking the mouse carefully in his hand. He, thankfully, still hadn't completely caught on. "I honestly don't know what these, how do you say, "fangirls" think our relationship is, but let us see what other things these unusual people have come up with.

"Noooooooooooooo!..." the group cried, making sure the "no" was extra long and drawn-out for dramatic effect. It was too late though, Zeno was already back on the main page

* * *

**Ideas for chapters are welcome. I may end this soon, but we'll see. This is the last pairing chapter I will do.**


	25. Kiyo, The Sex God

**Wow... I'm surprised fans haven't broken into my house yet, weilding Yaoi Paddles and firmly demanding a new chapter. Sorry about that, bad Cutelilteen! *smacks lamp against head several times***

**Oh, I'd give a big THANK YOU to all those who gave me some more ideas for chapters. :D They will likely be used in the near future.**

* * *

"So, then you guys read a fanfiction where an overly perfect 'goddess' of sorts attempted to seduce Kiyo?"

"Yep."

"And then you experienced the twisted dream of some fangirl attempting to write a 'slash' containing Folgore and Kanchome?"

"Yeah, that was one of the more pleasant ones..."

"...Uh huh..." Zeno rocked awkwardly in the computer chair, "And these are supposed to be... hot?"

"Yes," an answer from Folgore that came a little too quickly and a little too surely, causing everyone to turn and stare at him once again. "Uh... I'a meant... for some..."

"...Right," Zeno cleared his throat, clearly disturbed. The group was desperately trying to stop him from continuing on with the reading of the terrible horrors that polluted their section of FF dot Net. After reading over twenty-one stories before the appearance of himself and Dufort, they had some good tales for him. And Zeno had to admit they had some very, VERY good points on why he should not continue.

Zeno clutched his teeth as he painfully listened on to the horrors they had endured. He looked upon the site with great curiosity and slight admiration, the evil mastermind part of him realizing what horrors something as simple as that could bestow, but the six-year-old part of him bursting with eager curiosity for what there was to find.

_"Damn you, creator," _Zeno cursed silently to the sky. _"Damn you for making me such a complicated character."_

_333_

_Somewhere in Japan_

Makoto Raiku is working silently at his desk, when he suddenly looks to sky in surprise.

"Huh... why do I have the sudden feeling that I am not wanted?..."

_333_

Zeno's tiny fingers shook. It had been a long time since he had experienced the true taste of fear. Peering over his shoulder, he looked to his partner as if to ask for some some sort of opinion. Dufort, who was still backed into a wall, gave a little wave of approval. Zeno inhaled, slowly and nervously, and turned back towards the computer.

"It's not as if it will kill us... Ah, here's an interesting looking one."

The group were near tears as Zeno clicked the new-found story.

**_Kiyo_**

**_By FREAKINGKIYOFANGIRL123456_**

"Oh boy..." Kiyo shook his, rubbing his fingers against his temple in a slow, soothing manner.

**_Summary: We all know how awesomely hot Kiyo is, now don't we? Well here's a story that shows his true, new, sexy side._**

Zeno snorted. "Sexy? You?" Kiyo casted him a glare. Zeno completely ignored it. "I must say, girls of Fanfiction have extremely bad taste. Now if it was me on the other hand..."

Folgore seemed rather disappointed about the whole thing.

"Why'a all'a these'a sexy stories about'a Kiyo? Kiyo for God's'a sake! They're'a all'a Kiyo this'a and'a Kiyo that," Folgore voice began to rise, his annoyance and jeasously very obvious as he stood "I'm'a Parco Folgore for God's'a sake! I'm'a the one who should'a have'a the beautiful fangirls on me. I'm'a the one with'a the experience. Kiyo's just a silly little boy, I'M'A PARCO-"

Zeno spun around, casting Folgore a mischievous grin.

"Well you know, we could always go back to the fanfiction where you and Ducky-Boy over there-" he motioned towards Kanchome, who shot him a glare, "-were getting pretty hot. As disgusting as it may be, I am rather intrigued by the thought of that one..."

Folgore sat back down, quiet, flushing.

**_Kiyo lay on his bed, smiling, his hands behind his head. He had just had the best night of his life with some of the hottest chicks he could get a hold of._**

**_"Kiyo," Megumi cooed, peeking her head out from under the covers-_**

Megumi coughed loudly. "Why me? Why is it always me? Why do people seem to assume I'm easy to get with?"

Tia looked at her with surprise. "But you and your manager-"

"SHUT UP!"

_333_

_Back at ZBATFA HQ..._

Cutelilteen is sitting calmly in a couch-chair against a gray background and wearing a bland gray-blue suit, her hands sitting daintily on her lap and a neutral expression plastered across her face.

"I would like to apologize for that little joke there. I don't actually believe that Megumi is that easy to get with or would do anything so demeaning to her character. You see, as I have mentioned earlier, the characters in this piece of literature have a habit of becoming OOC at random times, therefore saying and doing things you would not believe to hear or see them do. As you have just read, this has happened to Megumi. I will now educate you on the facts of OOCness as I speak in this extremely monotonous tone for the next three hours. You see, when charaters are OOC they- *is whacked in the head with a Yaoi Paddle*

Random fangirl: JUST GET ON WITH THE FANFICTION!

Cutelilteen: Guh... Wait, why is this in scrict form now?

Random fangirl: KEEP WRITING BITCH!

Cutelilteen: Nuuhh! Okay!

_333_

**_-I had a great time last night."_**

**_Kiyo was grinning from ear to ear, stroking Megumi's soft hair. Suddenly, Suzy peeked her head out on the other side._**

"Why? Why me?" Kiyo moaned, shaking his head. "What has ever given people that idea that I would ever do such a thing with Suzy? And why must all of these stories have to have something to do with sex? It's as if some pervert teenage girl is writing our whole experience here."

_333_

_ZBATFA HQ_

Cutelilteen is back in her chair and, after having the complete crap beaten out of her, is sporting a lovely goose egg bruise on her head. Her suit is ripped and undone and her tie hangs loose and to the side. Nevertheless, she sits calmly in her exact same professional position as before.

"Eheh...heh... *ahem*... Uh... I'd also like to apologize for the constant sex jokes this fiction tends to have. As I have mentioned in the summary, this fanfiction contains mature humor and therefore should not be read by anyone under the age four... or whatever the minimum age is. You see, FF dot Net is a site that gives us endless amounts of freedom, therefore giving us the independence to write what amuses and delights us. As you may notice, in order to make Kiyo appear as a real Sex God I, naturally, had to add the said sex into the story. I apologize once again for this and promise- " *is whacked once again in the head with a Yaoi Paddle*

Same Fangirl: WILL YOU STOP INTERRUPTING THE FANFICTION!

_333_

**_"Oh Kiyo, you're sooooo wonderful," she said, clutching him around the waist and kissing him passionately._**

**_"Well duh, it's me after all," he replied. "Oh girls, the rest of you can wake up too."_**

**_Two figures moved near Kiyo's feet. With a yawn, Li-En arised._**

"Excuse me?" Won-Rei growled, roughly clutching Li-En to him. "Exactly what were you doing with her?"

Kiyo began to sweat. "I-I swear I did nothing to her. You're taking this way too seriously..."

**_"Hey, Sherry, get up," Li-En hissed, roughly shaking Sherry._**

"WHAT?" Brago roared, standing fiercely in front of Sherry. "How dare you! You perverted freak!"

"Brago, honestly," Sherry whispered, trying to pull the oddly strong boy down. "It's just a story."

Kiyo was praying.

"Dear Lord... I've never been a religious man... and considering this is Japan I'm not sure why I randomly chose Christianity right now.. but please help me now. Oh God help me... I value my life... I really do... I have so much to live for..."

"No you don't."

"SHUT UP ZATCH! I read you're book don't I?"

"Ah... point taken..."

**_"Oh, morning already?" she yawned, smiling at Kiyo. "You were wonderful."_**

**_"But of course, my dear. I know how to please a woman."_**

**_Kiyo slowly slipped out of bed, pulling on his pants and shirt that lay crumpled in a pile. _****_He was overjoyed. Finally, Kiyo-_**

"-Who finally hit puberty after thirty years," Zeno stated, smirking. This earn a few muffled chuckles from the jealous boys and a look of contempt from Kiyo.

**_was able to show such wonderful woman what a real man was like. However, Kiyo didn't have to prove them much. He was already the talk of the neighborhood girls. He sported a rippling six-pack,-_**

Zeno peered him over sceptically. "Which Kiyo is she talking about?"

Kiyo snorted. After being stuffed away in a room for a couple of hours experiencing horrors that only existed in nightmares, Kiyo was able to contain himself better and able to keep himself, for at least a short while, from killing the cocky child.

"Is this, by chance, the same author who created Kron?" Megumi inquired, attempting but failing to push Zeno's hand off the mouse and scroll up to view the author's pen name.

**_and manly muscles he had earned from hours of training in the gym._**

"Huh... the most I've ever seen Kiyo lift was five pounds, and that was the day you threw out your back and-"

"SHUT UP ZATCH!"

**_Kiyo always wore a tight white shirt and pants which outlined every muscles... and another thing too._**

"Ughh," Zeno was covering his face with his hands, moaning. "Please remove this disturbing mental image from my brain." He looked upon the group in pain. "I have made a mistake, you were all correct. This is horrible."

Kiyo shrugged. "Hey, you made the choice to read, now you're going to finish it."

Zeno covered his mouth and breathed deeply through his nose, as if thinking something over. Finally, he shook his head, sighed, and went back to the story.

**_The Mamodo battle had ended five years ago, back when Kiyo was fourteen. It was a shame, had Tia been around, Kiyo wouldn't have minded showing her a few things._**

Tia's mouth was gaping open as she looked to Kiyo, then Megumi in horror. Megumi glared daggers at Kiyo.

"In five years, Tia will only be eleven... What the hell is wrong with you...?

Kiyo's lip trembled. In alarm, he turned back towards Zeno.

"Okay Zeno, you can stop reading now."

"Oh no, that's alright. I'm actually quite getting into it now... heheheh..."

**_Yep, Kiyo's life was great. He was, indeed, a mad Sex God. That pathetic twirp he was in highschool was just a memory now._**

Kiyo winced, but said nothing.

**_Now he was a real man. These were his new glory days, and he planned on living them for a long time yet._**

**_Kiyo turned back towards the four girls, who were sitting on his bed watching him expectantly. He smiled._**

**_"Okay girls," he said, pulling up his shirt slightly. "How about a strip tease?"_**

**_"Yes!" they squealed in unison. Kiyo smiled and began to unbutton-_**

Zeno threw up his arms in exasperation and disgust, jumping out of his chair and roughly pushing it in, causing it to slam against the desk and shake the monitor slightly.

"Okay, now I'm done," he stated, stomping over to Dufort. "Someone else can read these horrible abominations from hell. Any takers?"

Zeno gazed around the room, attempting to find some volunteers. He was disappointed when he saw everyone in the room cringed back, including Dufort. Zeno then peered at Kiyo, who was strangely quiet all of a sudden.

"You're suddenly rather calm."

Kiyo leaned back in his chair, oddly calm, smiling contentedly.

"Well you see, I'm comforted with the thought that, now that that's over with, things cannot possibly get any worse for me. Now all I have to do is sit back and watch your characters be brutely butchered. That's it. There is nothing left in that site that can bother me anymore. Nobody can possibly ruin this relief high I am having right now."

"Kiyo," a familiar female's voice suddenly cried from downstairs, causing Kiyo to turn to the door in horror . "I'm back. I've come to give you another chance. I know you didn't mean anything *sob*. I f-forgive you Kiyo. I really do. I even drew the two of us on oranges looking happy, s-see?" the girl let out a slightly insane half sob, half giggle. "W-well you will see in a minute. Oh Kiyo, I'm coming up, and I don't care if Megumi is there, b-because... I KNOW SOON YOUR FEELINGS WILL SURFACE!... YOU'LL DISCOVER YOUR TRUE FEELINGS FOR ME! I'M COMING UP!"

"Oh dear God..."

It just wasn't Kiyo's day.

* * *

**Yes, I realized I said I wouldn't do anymore pairing chapters, and that this seemed like one, but since I didn't pair Kiyo up with just one certain girl, I'm not going to count it as one. :P Cuz yeah, ya know, I can just bend the rules like that. Yeah...**

**Thank you overzealousfangirl for this chapter idea. This was highly amusing to write. :D**


	26. Truth or Dare

**A/N: Hey wow! I actually updated fairly fast this time. Hey, maybe I'll go back to having that every-day streak I used to have back when I first started this story!...**

**Yeah... right...**

**Thank you Kaiser Spartan for this chapter idea. :P**

* * *

Suzy made sure that her entrance did not go unnoticed. She stomped up the stairs loudly, slamming his door open and causing the door knob to smash against the wall and put a lovely dent in it. It was days like this that Kiyo was glad that has mother was so conveniently out.

"Kiyo..." Suzy breathed, pushing through the over-crowded room and casting her blood-shot eyes upon the paling boy. "I came back... But you knew I would, didn't you. *giggle* Of course you did..."

She tipped her head back slightly and a semi-demented smile crawled across her face, causing even Zeno to shudder. In her one hand she carried a basket of oranges with crudely-drawn faces, all drawn in a red fluid which Kiyo was afraid to guess. She slowly let them splatter to the floor as she approached Kiyo, causing him to cringe back in fear.

"Maybe I over reacted. I'm sorry Kiyo. I know I was mistaken, it's all okay now. No girl-" she cast a glare upon Megumi. If looks could kill, Megumi would have dropped dead. "-can ever come between us. Oh Kiyo, let's be together forever! Kiyo I-" her eyes suddenly shifted to Kanchome, who was half passed-out in his little chair. "Oh... why is he tied up?..."

"Oh... huh..." Kiyo muttered, slightly glad to have the attention taken off him. "Yeah... we tied him up shortly after you left. Long story. Hmm... he's been there awhile now. Guess we can untie him now."

Kanchome mumbled loudly in agreement. Together, Kiyo and Folgore went to tend to Kanchome. Untying the ropes was not a problem and took only a few seconds, it was the duct tape that worried them the most.

"Okay, uh..." Folgore peered awkwardly at Kanchome's face, noticing how hard the glue from the tape had gotten on his bill. "Okay... you'a hold him down Kiyo, I'll tend to the tape. Uh... you want wanna hold him fairly tightly..."

Have you, by chance, ever heard a dying animal on crack? Well the scream Kanchome let out probably equaled about that. Tears were streaming down the poor child's face as he held his now free hands to his very red glue covered beak. He turned to Kiyo and glared.

"Uh... hey buddy," Kiyo said half nervously, waving his hand in Kanchome's face. "How ya doing?"

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Ah, nice to hear from you too," Kiyo chuckled as Kanchome ran towards Folgore and clutched him around the knees. His mood drastically changed from anger to misery as he sobbed into Folgore's pant legs.

"Oh Folgore," he blubbered pathetically, wiping his eyes and "nose" on his slightly disgusted reader's pants. "It was horrible. Why did you let the meanies do that to me?"

Folgore patted his head, laughing. "There, there my little _bambino_, everything's okay now. Parco Folgore's here'a. It'a was'a just a little time out, nothing more. You'a were being a bad little boy, trying to kill'a Tia and all. I think'a you owe her a little apology."

Kanchome peered timidly at Tia. He flashed her a nervous grin which was received with an indignant glare. With a gentle shove on the back, Folgore pushed him towards the annoyed girl and placed his hand on his tiny shoulder, readying him for his apology. Kanchome stared down at his feet sheepishly, as if all he was apologizing for was taking her candy.

"I'm sorry I tried to kill you with a cleaver," he mumbled, almost inaudibly. "I was just getting a little crazy with all the mean fanfictions about me, you know? I wouldn't have really killed you... I think."

"Uh," Tia hestated, backing into Megumi as if looking for an answer. Megumi gave her a half nod. She sighed. "It's okay Kanchome. I know the things this site can do. It can make you pretty crazy. I- god forbid I would ever actually have to say this- forgive you."

The two children embraced, their friendship renewed, as everyone aww'd. Suzy, however, did not share the same feeling.

"Excuse me!" Suzy squealed from behind Kiyo, causing his grin to drop. "I'm still here you know"

"Yes, thank you, I was trying to forget," he replied coldly, not even bothering to turn to look at her. It wasn't that he disliked Suzy, it was just a bad time for her to come back still semi-insane when the rest of the group were only just beginning to collect themselves from the horror that was fanfiction. Kiyo knew that these people probably wouldn't be too willing to read anymore.

Kiyo also wondered why they didn't just leave that site and get on with their lives, but that would be a question left unanswered.

Suddenly, a smiled began to creep across Kiyo's face. Not just a normal smile, but a smile that showed a truly evil and diabolical plan forming in his mind. Suzy was here, and nobody else would read. Perfect. It wasn't that Kiyo really wanted to listen to more fanfiction, it was just by forcing her to read, it would likely spark that insanity attack from before, causing her to leave, or at least keep quiet, while everyone recovered.

"Suzy," Kiyo cooed in his best lovey-dovey voice, gently placing his hands on her shoulder. "You care about me right?"

"Yes Kiyo," she squeaked, tears of happiness welling up in her eyes. "Yes of course I do."

"And you would do anything for me, right?"

"Yes, anything!" Her voice raised an octave or two higher than usual.

"Then you'll read for us," he roughly pushed her towards the computer. Her face dropped, her eyes widening in horror.

"B-but," she babbled, looking up at her Prince Charming. "I-I... b-but..."

"Now, now," he patted her head as if he was dealing with a disobedient child. "You be a good little girl a make me happy, please? You know it would. Oh, and make sure that fanfiction isn't specifically about one of us, unless it's you, then that's fine."

"But... I... oh man..." she sighed, collapsing into the computer chair in defeat. "Alright Kiyo," she squeaked, her eyes watering with fear. "For you... I'll do it."

"Kiyo," Doctor Riddles hissed. "Kiyo what the hell are you doing?"

Kiyo smiled and whispered his plan in his ear. The Doctor frowned.

"It'll never work. You're making a mistake. Stop her now."

But it was already too late. Suzy had found a fanfiction before any of them could react.

**_Truth or Dare_**

**_by SillySpartan_**

**_Summary: The gang, for some random reason, are all over at Suzy's house playing Truth or Dare. Cue the madness!_**

"Oh God," Kiyo breathed, realizing his plan wasn't such a bright idea after all. "This doesn't sound to good. Suzy you can..."

Suzy couldn't hear him. She was already in her own little world, reading.

**_The gang is all sitting around in Suzy's room_**

**_Megumi: So, why are we here again?_**

**_Suzy: Dunno. Ask the author of the fanfiction_**

**_Me: Yeah... sorry... was trying to be random... failed_**

Wonrei shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"What kind of authors refer to themselves in fanfictions? I mean really, it's just silly and useless."

_333_

_ZBATFA HQ_

Cutelilteen is standing there, smiling nervously, sweating.

"Heheh... yeah... what kind of fanfictions authors do that?... Yeah... that's just... so silly... yeah... *cough*"

_333_

**_Suzy: *blinks* Okay, what do you guys want to do?_**

**_Kiyo: How about we play Truth or Dare?_**

Kiyo shuddered. The bad feeling he had increased.

**_Kanchome: Yay! Sounds fun!_**

**_Kiyo: Shut up fatass! *tosses a cleaver at his head but unfortunately misses*_**

Kanchome's tiny body was trembling with anger, tears welling up in his large eyes. Folgore gently placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Stay calm," he whispered. "Control yourself and stay calm."

**_Kanchome: Ah! *runs away screaming like a little girl*_**

"Breathe, my little _bambino. _It's'a just a story, not at all true."

**_Folgore: That'a was weird... okay... who wants to go first?_**

**_Nobody answered._**

"I can't understand why," Megumi added sarcastically.

**_Folgore: *sigh* You'a guys are no fun. Okay, I'll start. Doctor Riddles, truth or dare?_**

"Oh God," The Doctor was hiding his face in his hands shamefully. Kido peered at him curiously.

"Hey Doctor, are you okay? It's gonna be okay, right? Doctor Riddles, what do you-"

"Not now Kido."

**_Dr. Riddles: Hmmmmm... Truth!_**

**_Folgore: Kay... um... Got it! If you'a and Kido were stuck on a desert island and you'a had'a nothing to eat, would'a you'a eat Kido?_**

**_Everyone: *laughing*_**

**_Dr. Riddles: Uhhhhhhhhhh... hmmmm... yes, yeah I would!_**

Kido was horrified. "Doctor! You... you..."

"Kido no!" the Doctor snatched the child from his shoulder and clutched him to his chest. "Never! This author is a sick and twisted soul who gets her jollies from writing disgusting pieces of garbage!"

Tears were willing up in the poor, frightened little boy's eyes. "But... but how do I know if you're telling the truth this time?...

Kiyo chuckled. "All those months of "kidding" are coming back at you, huh old man?"

"Shut up Kiyo, or we'll test the desert island theory on you."

**_Kido: Hey!_**

**_Dr. Riddles: Sorry Kido, but it's every man for himself. Is it my turn now?_**

**_Everyone: Yep!_**

**_Dr. Riddles: Okay. Kiyo, truth or dare?_**

Doctor Riddles grinned evilly. Kiyo began to pale.

**_Kiyo: I'm gonna be brave today. Dare!_**

**_Dr. Riddles: *snickering* Okay Kiyo, I dare you to... kiss Ponygon!_**

**_Kiyo: *eagerly* Okay! *goes up to Ponygon, picks him up, and begins to passionately kiss him*_**

Ponygon was bawling, hiding his face in Sunbeam's shirt and shaking visibly. He didn't even have the strength to attack Kiyo like he usually did, and this, for once, actually worried Kiyo.

"Dear God," Kiyo breathed, staring fearfully into space. "What have I done?"

**_Everyone: Ewwwwwwwwwww_**

**_Kiyo: *pulls away* Ah! That felt goooood!_**

Sunbeam eyed Kiyo suspiciously. "Kiyo, is there something you would like to tell me?"

"No! No! No! Stop taking these stupid stories seriously! Stop it! Leave me alone! LEAVE ME AlONE! I'm a human! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Kiyo ran to the corner, sobbing. Sunbeam watched him tensely.

"Huh... this vaguely reminds me of something I saw once..."

_333_

_Back at ZBATFA HQ... again... for the hundredth time... the place no one really gives a crap about..._

A random employee walks up to Cutelilteen.

"*ahem* Um... Miss Cutelilteen... you just got some letters from some fans. Apparently making references to old memes isn't all the funny."

Cutelilteen suddenly stands up indignantly, snatching the paper from the surprised worker and tearing it up.

"This is my fanfiction and I shall do what I want with it! So if I want to make a reference to that whiny little bitch of a man, I shall, for I am... God of the Fanfiction World. That's right! Bwahhahaha! Mwahahaha! Bwhahaha-"

But before she can finish her evil laugh, she is beaten by several fangirls with... guess what... Yaoi Paddles.

"*in great pain* Stop... Doing that!"

_333_

**_Ponygon runs away crying_**

**_Kiyo: *chasing after him* Wait, my love! We can make this work!_**

**_Dr. Riddles: Hey, come back! It's your turn! *sigh* Oh well, I'll go again. Megumi, truth or dare?_**

**_Megumi: *giggling* Dare!_**

**_Dr. Riddles: *chuckles like a creepy old man* Okay Megumi... I dare you to strip in front of everyone!_**

**_All the males: WOOHOO! YEAH BABY!_**

**_Megumi: *giggles* Okay!_**

Megumi sat there quivering, griding her teeth angrily.

"Kiyo," she hissed venomously, tearing out a good chunk of the carpet. "If you don't stop her now, I will find that clever and attack her... Kanchome style. And I may not stop there..."

Kiyo was panicking. "Suzy... deary... w-why don't you stop reading now, okay. I don't mind, you've done enough."

Suzy was giggling maniacally. "No Kiyo," she hissed, her eyes wide as saucers. "By reading this it will make you happy. I want you to be happy..."

"Oh my God," Kiyo moaned, holding his head. "Will somebody place snap her out of this?"

"Here, just a sec," Megumi sighed, rising off the ground. Slowly, as not to let her know she was there, she snuck up behind Suzy. With one sure strike of her head, she cuffed Suzy over the head, causing her to fall out of her seat screaming. "It worked on you," Megumi stated, looking to Kiyo.

"That wasn't niiiiiice!" Suzy whined, holding her head and kicking her legs as if she was a four-year-old having a tantrum.

"Yeah, well, it worked didn't it," Megumi didn't even bother looking at Suzy as she walked over to the computer to close the site. "Okay, time to get out of-hey!"

Much to her surprise, when she had knocked Suzy over, Suzy's elbow hit the mouse, causing it to conveniently scroll to the back button and return to the main screen.

"Huh... weird..." muttered Megumi, holding her hand to her chin while eyeing the selections of fanfictions.

"Don't do it," hissed Kiyo, sensing her weakening. "I made a mistake. I was wrong. Let's not continue this."

"Oh hush," she waved her hand in a shooing motion, her eyes fixated on the screen. "Not all the fanfictions were bad. Besides, I haven't read for awhile."

"You didn't seem too eager when I gave you the chance," muttered Zeno, scowling. She ignored him.

"Just one or two more fanfictions," she mumbled, her eyes now completely caught on the screen. "It won't kill us. Oh, this one looks interesting..."

"Megumi!" Kiyo cried, holding out his hand dramatically. "Megumi, NO!"

* * *

**Will this piece of crap ever end? Who knows! If you have some ideas you would like to see, requests are still welcome.**


	27. EPIC BATTLE!

**A/N: Not much to say today, expect here's a new update. Yay! Thank you Yugioash for this chapter idea. Oh, this'll be fun *evil laughter*... **

* * *

**_EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN BRAGO AND PENNY! _**

Brago choked.

**_by PennyFan12345_**

Megumi grinned maliciously at Brago, who, for the first time in his life, paled with fear.

**_Summary: This is a story where Penny and Brago fight! Who will win?! This is going to be the most awesome fun story I write, I loooooooooooooove Penny she's my favoritest character ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and btw Brago SUX!!!!! I hate him he's a stupid bad guy I hope he dies soon in the series because I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

"This... isn't looking too good for you, Brago," Kiyo stated, grinning.

**_So oK, Penny and Brago are down somewhere in... I dunno Japan or where ever they live (a/n: I haven't watched all the Zatch Bell episodes just the ones with Penny so I dont know that much about it OK!!!!_**

"Then why are you writing this?" Brago snarled, griding his teeth anxiously.

**_So don't get upset if I get some stuff wrong OK!!!) Anyway, Penny and Brago were about to fight because Brago was protecting her worst enemy (and love interest, lol ;D), Zatch Bell._**

"Protecting?!" Brago roared, rising off the ground instantaneously. "PROTECTING?!!" he screamed significantly louder. "Why, in the name of hell, would I be protecting Zatch Bell? That useless shrimp. The worthless shit. What reason would I have to not burn his book to a crisp?"

"Well," Zatch answered, slightly timidly. "The show based on us is called 'Zatch Bell'. In that case, I would have to be around for awhile."

Brago was silent, vibrating with anger, snorting loudly out of his nose. His quivering hand gripped the carpet.

**_"HOW DARE YOU PROTECT THAT STUPID ZATCH BELL!!!!!!!!!!' Penny screamed at Brago her voice all deep and stuff. Brago almost screamed like a little girl cause he was such a pussy-_**

Brago tore a chuck out of the carpet.

**_-but he didn't cuz he was trying prove himself or something._**

**_"Because I think your totally lame and a bitch!" Brago screamed back trying to act tough. That slut Sharry-_**

"Hey!" Sherry exclaimed, indignant. "I have never even worn anything higher than my knees. And how hard is my name to spell? It's S-H-E-R-R-Y, with an E!"

**_-tookout the book sluttily._**

Sherry was appalled. "How do you take out a book "sluttily"? Is that even a word?"

**_"BOOPADOOPA DOO WAABABABOOM!!!" She screamed his spell._**

Brago let out a cry of agony. "Spell? Spell?! That is no spell of mine! How dare she insult my name with this... this... Argh! What is it?"

With tears of laughter streaming down his face, Kiyo was only able to reply with: "*snort* Bad... *giggle* n00b... author... *choke*"

**_A electric odd thingy came out of his hands and went at Penny (OMFG!)_**

**_But then Penny's haaaaawwwwwwwwt (lol ;D) reader read her spell and out came a big wave of water and it came at Brago. Brago screamed like a little bitch and tried to run away but it was too late. The water hit him and sharry and mixed with the electic orb thingy and electrocuted them. And then Sharry died. (But who cares? I hate that bitch sooooooooo much she's so slutty and gross and ugly and evil and I hope she dies in the show soon I'll have a party if she does YAY!!!! :D)_**

By that time, Sherry had been trying to block out as much as she could. Sitting with her back turned away from the computer, she snorted angrly, clenching Brago's book dangerously.

**_"Oh nooooooooo!!!" Brago screamed sadly. He needed that stupid bitch she was the one who read the spells for him and made him powerfull. and now he was nothing without the slut. Then Penny walked over to him dangerously. She was smiling evilly and standing over him. SHe new she had won this fight._**

**_"Say your prayers Brago," she said in that awesome deep evil voice. "I have won this battle."_**

**_Brago started to cry-_**

It was impossible not to laugh. Even Sherry managed to crack a small smile when she heard that line. Brago, however, was not as amused.

**_-falling his knees and sobbing like a little girl._**

"Never!" Brago spat, slamming a fist into the wall.

"And yet, for some odd reason, I'm able to picture that in my mind," Kiyo added.

"SHUT UP!"

**_"Oh plleeeeaaaase don't kill me!" he whimpered. He was such a pussy. "I don't want to die! I'm sorry!"_**

**_Then he started kissing her feet. He was such a freaking pussy! He was crying all over Penny's awesome shoes and looked like a retarded little girl or something. He was so pathetic Penny almost felt kinda sorry for him... but not for long!_**

**_"I'm sorry Brago," she said in her super deep voice. "But you have lost. Now you will DIE!!"_**

**_Her reader (a/n: I cant remember his name ok so don't get mad at me about it!!!!) Read her spell and a BIIIIIGGGG wave came at Brago. He started screaming and crying and-_**

"Oh that is it!" It was Brago's turn to knock Megumi out of the chair, and he did it with little hesitation. "I have had enough of this shit! I'LL find something that I'LL enjoy, you all just sit down and shut up!"

Brago's grumbling and clicking of the mouse was the only sound in room for a good moment. Finally, Zatch cautiously turned to Kiyo.

"You know... why don't we just leave this site and do something else. You know, we've been on here awhile and still have found little that actually... good."

Kiyo shook his head with the utmost shame.

"I wish we could Zatch, I really do. It just seems, sometimes, as if there is a higher power controlling us."

* * *

**Thank you all for the reviews. Next up: TightropeDancing's request for a high school fic. :D**

**Oh, and the spelling and grammar errors contained in the fanfiction they were reading were intentional. Bcuz dun't worree, im vary smert!**


	28. Fast Times at Mamodo High part 1

**A/N: Ah, nice to actually get back to doing this after...erm... a year... Between a broken computer and a generally hectic year, I haven't been able to do much on FF dot com or most websites in general. Hopefully, I will have more spare time during summer, when I'm not working, that is...**

**I thought I'd mention that this chapter here contains a pairing that was already done. I wasn't originally intending for that, it just... sort of happened. xp However, since they're reading a story about them as highschoolers, I don't want to focus on just two characters romance, so it'll be broken up into two chapters. This is part one. I apologize, this isn't my favorite chapter IMO but I hope part two will be better. It'll focus on more than just romance (although it will be there) and will contain more important characters. Since I haven't completely decided what will happen in that chapter, I'm taking requests. So, if you have a suggestion, let me know. After this, due to a few requests, I'll being having the gang temporarily leave the Zatch Bell section to read a certain, goffik Harry Potter tale. You know what I'm talking about. -evil laughter-**

**Bear with me as this is, so far, the longest chapter, which is why I'll be breaking it up into two parts. If you're not one for long reads, I'm sorry, I never intended for it to be so long.**

* * *

**_Fast Times at Mamodo High_**

Kiyo raised an eyebrow. "Mamodo... high?"

**_By Teeniebopper12345_**

**_Summary: Zatch and the gang are now in highschool!_**

"Oh god..."

**_Join as they battle teen angst, growing up, romance, and all that other great stuff you all had/have to go through._**

Brago snickered manically, grinning madly, his eyes gleaming with pure demented pleasure.

"As you may notice," he began, slowly turning his chair around and clasping his hands out in front of himself. "Being much older than Zatch and friends, by the time he hits his teen years, I will be long out of highschool. In other words, there is no way this joke of an author can bastardize my name."

Brago gave a sigh of relief, momentarily leaning back in is chair with his hands behind his back. He contemplated this revenge with a grin on his face. Nothing would be sweeter than making Zatch Bell and his worthless little munchkin friends suffer. Unfortunately Wonrei, who was looking completely unfazed by this, would not be effected. Ah well, can't always get what you want, just take what you've got. Besides, Brago thought while smirking, he was sure he'd be able to find some revolting boy-on-boy action containing him, with Kanchome or something. After seeing some of these peoples' creations, nothing would surprise him now.

"Well then," Brago announced, bolting back up and clapping his hands together eagerly. "Shall we read?"

The younger mamodos looked at each other in horror.

"Good! Let's get going!"

**_"Great game!" Emily, a grey haired mamado congratulated Tia. They smacked their lacrosse sticks together._**

"Lacrosse... you have lacrosse in the Mamado World..." Kiyosaid, saying it as more of a statement than a question.

Poor little Suzy looked so very confused, being the only member of the little group with no knowledge of the Mamado World.

"What... what is this 'Mamodo World' you all keep talking about?"

"I already told you, it's just a fantasy place mentioned in these fanfics a lot, that is all," replied Kiyo calmly as if he was talking to an ignorant child.

"But-"

"Just. A. Fantasy."

**_"Thanks," replied Tia, brushing her hip-length pink hair out of her eyes. "I better get out of my gym clothes quickly though, Zatch is picking me up in his Mercedes Benz."_**

"Mercedes Benz... there are Mercedes Benzs in the Mamado World..."

Meanwhile, Zatch was emitting a series of small gagging and choking sounds, scrambling up and sticking his finger down his throat dramatically.

"Eeuuww!" he exclaimed, giggling slightly at his performance "Why are we always boyfriend and girlfriend in these stories? That's gross, right Tia?"

Tia remained silent, turning away and blushing slightly as Zatch hacked on for a good minute.

**_Emily giggled cutely. "O.M.G., hot! You are so, like, lucky to be dating the King of the Mamodo World, you know that right? O.M.G., so haawwwt!"_**

"Valley girls... there are Valley girls in the Mam-"

"SHUT UP KIYO!"

**_Tia giggled back. "Oh my gaaaaawd, I KNOW! I soooooo can't believe he picked me. I thought for sure he was going to go for that bitch Penny. Ugh, you know how persuasive she is."_**

**_"And by persuasive you mean dropping her pants to whatever guy walks by," Emily replied, snickering._**

Zatch was truly blessed that Penny had not attended this unusual meeting.

**_The girls laughed._**

**_"Oh, oh!" Tia added, raising her hand. "Did you know that last I heard she was dating Kanchome?"_**

**_The girls were near tears of laughter at this point._**

**_"That be-otch is desperate I tell you," Emily squealed, holding her sides. "DES-PAH-RATE!-"_**

Kanchome appeared offended by that statement. "What? Aren't I good enough?"

Tia eyed him awkwardly. "What? Please tell me you honestly didn't think you were the cream of the crop."

This earned some muffled chuckling from some of the group. Folgore, who Kanchome ran over to, bawling, was however prepared to fill the boy's head with nothing but complements.

"Oh no Kanchome, no no," he soothed, rubbing the blubbering little boy's back. "She'a lie, she'a lie! You'a gonna be a very sexy young man. Yes, yes, very, very sexy! Oh yes, all the lovely ladies with'a the big'a chests will be pressing themselves against you once they'a catch a glimse of your rippling muscles, just'a you'a wait!"

Tia made a retching noise, but otherwise remained silence.

**_"But I heard she won't even kiss him," Emily added._**

**_"O.M.G., can you blame her?" Tia said. "And we're talking about the girl who had a good five-minute make-out session with Ponygon. L.O.L.!"_**

Ponygon wasn't sure whether to feel proud or slightly creeped-out by that statement. He settled on both.

**_"O.M.G, L.O.L!" said Emily, giggling cutely._**

"Some really stimulating conversation going on here, huh?" muttered Kiyo, rubbing his temple with his knuckles.

"Aren't they always?" Megumi replied, eyeing him tiredly.

"Eh, true enough."

Tia stared at the wall in disgust at her portrayal, but still said nothing nor did anything. As I'm sure you have noted by this point, dramatic fits of hysteria did not make the story go away, so Tia decided that brutally murdering the group wouldn't have much of an effect either.

**_The girls giggled for a good two minutes._**

**_"Okay, well I've got to go," said Tia, turning towards the locker rooms. "I've got to get ready quickly for my hot date."_**

**_"Okay, see ya!" Emily waved her off and turned away, swishing her hair back as she did so._**

**_Tia sighed as she entered the locker room, happy to be able to take off her sweaty clothes. She sighed again as she slipped off her shirt, it felt soooooo good. She had grown into quite the beautiful young woman, with long, flowing pink hair and curves in all the right places. She had even been offered a modelling contract, but she turned it down due to school. She didn't mind though, sports were her true love and she refused to turn into some bimbo sex symbol. She hummed as she took off her pants, reveling her smooth, toned legs._**

Folgore fidgeted, shifting his eyes and crossing his legs.

"Um... is'a it'a bad if'a one was'a to find'a this'a somewhat... erotic?"

Megumi turned to him slowly, her motherly instincts flashing evilly in her eyes.

"You are thinking about a child who is six at the moment. What do YOU think?"

Folgore fidgeted some more, blushing.

"Yeah... uh... that's'a... that's'a what I though. Excuse'a me a moment..."

He slowly got up, peering sheepishly around at the eyes that bared down on him. Suddenly and without warning, he made a mad rush for the door, stumbling over himself in the process, and all the while trying to discreetly cover the front of his pants.

**_Something_ _wasn't right though, something was... off. Tia squirmed anxiously, feeling more uncomfortable every second. Her eyes darted about the room, searching. Despite the fact that the locker room was quiet and empty, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. She looked around some more, her anxiety stronger than ever before._**

**_...Suddenly, she looked towards a small piece of wood leaning innocently against the wall. She was sure that board wasn't there before. Who could of put it there, and what was it for anyway?..._**

**_Useless object suddenly appearing in female locker rooms..._**

**_"Crap, it can't be..." she hissed, examining the board. Most boards don't have a duck bill..._**

**_"You are such a pervert!" suddenly shrieked Tia, kicking over the the board and proceeding to beat the crap out of it._**

**_Kanchome cried out, returning to his normal form and crumpling himself up against the wall._**

Kiyo let out a long, deep breath. Folding his hands together and resting them against his mouth, he turned to Kanchome

"You know, Kanchome," he said. "Usually this is the point where we all turn and give you a suspicious look, but by this point, I think it's been pretty much confirmed that we're all sick perverts and are headed for hell."

**_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the boy cried out, trying to dodge Tia's killer blows with little success._**

**_"Why. Are. You. Here." Tia gasped between blows. Kanchome was sobbing uncontrollably. Despite being nearly seventeen, Kanchome had matured very little, both emotionally and physically._**

"I... don't even care anymore," sighed Kanchome, slumping against a chair and pulling a lollipop out of his pocket. Through all the pain and butchering his character suffered , Kanchome finally found strength. "As long as I have my candy, I'm good. I'm good."

**_"Stop, stop please!" he begged, the tips of his duck bill brimming with blood. Tia continued though, each punch harder than the first. Her fist was dripping with his blood._**

"Daaayyyuum! This bitch is mothafuckin' CRRRAAAZEEEH!"

An outburst that came from Zatch of all people. Kiyo turned his head slowly towards the boy, his mouth a gape.

"I-wha-I-um... I-I... have no words for that Zatch. That... that was likely the most random and out of place comment that has been made these past couple of hours. I-I don't even know where that came from... No more Chris Tucker films..."

333

_Another cutaway with Cutelilteen, because I'm sure you weren't getting tired of those at all..._

Cutelilteen sits at her desk clacking away at the keyboard. Suddenly, she pauses, as if any previous ideas she had just disappeared into thin air. Writers block.

"Oh no..." she hisses. She begins to sweat, swearing she can hear the screams of fangirls and fanboys just outside her heavily-armed office. Her breathing is rapid, she's left them waiting for almost a year for this chapter, she can't stop now, her life may depend on it. Her life DOES depend on it. She clings Muttsy's paw, she must continue, the story... must... go... on...

"I've got it!" she exclaims suddenly, throwing her hands up into the air and letting poor Muttsy plummet to the ground. As if an angel from Heaven came down before her, she found her answer, clear as day. The clacking of the keyboard resumes.

"And so," she says aloud in a slow and monotone voice. "Zatch says in response to the teenaged Tia's madness, 'Damn, this bitch is motherfucking crazy' in a way that only Chris Tucker would speak. Yes, brilliant!"

She giggles gleefully, clapping her hands together and bouncing up and down in her chair. An employee, however, doesn't seem quite as impressed or amused.

"Umm... M-Ms Cutelilteen, my humblest apologies, but... that makes absolutely no sense. Why, I'm thinking that might even be a filler so you can get this over with quic-"

"SHUT UP! This is MAH story!"

"Yes, yes, of course, I'm aware of that m'am... I just think that maybe you should-"

"I'm a potato."

"...W-what?"

"I couldn't think of anyway to respond to that, so I just added some of that 'filler' you spoke of earlier to get it over with. Squee, I'm so clever! :3"

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about! If I may speak freely, that was in no way clever and, quite honestly, more of a show of immaturity. And that smiley face you added at the end was quite unnes-"

"I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake. But I never saw the way, the orange slayed the rake. I was only three years dead, but it told a tale. And now listen little child to the safety rail. Did you ever see a llama kiss a llama on the llama..."

"...Perhaps it would be best if we just continued on with the fanfiction."

"That's what I like to hear."

333

_**The beating continued on for another few minutes. Tia's breathing was becoming more rapid, her fist beginning to bruise from the constant force being applied to it. Her arm was becoming tired and limp.**_

_**"You... bastard..." she gasped, throwing on final blow before collapsing to the ground, exhausted.**_

"Oh, I'm sooooo sorry that beating the crap out of me took such a toll on you," muttered Kanchome sarcastically, flashing Tia the stink eye.

_**By the time Tia was finished with him, Kanchome had two black eyes, a swollen check, a loose tooth and a bloody nose and mouth. Being a mamodo, however, these injuries were nothing a bit of rest couldn't take care of. He too breathed heavily, laying beside Tia. For several moments, neither of the teenagers said anything, too shocked about what just happened between them.**_

"You know," Dr. Riddles said awkwardly. "Not to sound like a complete pervert or anything, but this could be easily taken out of context. Had I only started reading from that paragraph, I would think I would have just read a love scene between... er... you know."

The poor Doctor had no idea his comment was about to become quite close to the truth in just a few sentences.

_**Tia was the first to finally speak.**_

**_"Why?" she simply asked, turning towards the bleeding boy. "Why would you do that? Why would you do anything so perverted?"_**

**_Kanchome turned towards Tia, his swollen eyes brimming with tears._**

**_"Because," he sighed, shaking slightly. "You're so... beautiful."_**

**_Tia's eyes widened at this confession._**

**_"What?" she gasped._**

**_"I think you're beautiful," Kanchome said, more confident than before. "I know what I did was wrong, and I'm so, so sorry! I just... I just don't know what to do anymore!" he began to sob. "My relationship with Penny is falling apart, if it was together in the first place, that is. She only uses me as an accessory, so she can say she has a boyfriend. She doesn't care for me, but I'm still so afraid to break up with her because... you know how she is. Now I'm resorting to looking at girls I can't have because... that's all I can do... You probably have no idea how I'm feeling."_**

**_Much too his shock, however, he realized that Tia was crying._**

**_"No, I know exactly how you feel," she sobbed. "Zatch doesn't care about me, he too only uses me so he can say he has a girlfriend. He's too busy being king to pay any attention to me. Why, I haven't even spoken to him in two weeks. I've tried to call and visit, but he's always too busy. I even lied to my friend today about him picking me up for a date so I wouldn't sound pathetic," Tia gasped, the tears still flowing. "He used to be so passionate, but now I'm at the very bottom of his priorities. He probably just forgot to break up with me... Kanchome, I'm so sorry I beat you like that, I've just had so much pent up anger that seeing you here, watching me, just caused me to lose it finally."_**

**_Kanchome reached for her hand, pulling it close._**

**_"I know, I'm sorry too. I was really the one in the wrong. But Tia, you should know that there are people who care for you, why there's one right here."_**

**_Tia smiled. "I know."_**

**_The two teenagers made a mad scramble for each other, their lips crashing together- _**

"No!" shrieked Tia, grasping her hair and backing into the wall. "No, it's not fair! We already read this type of story! I-It isn't right! I don't want this! I don't need this! I-I have a right! I-I have a right to decide what happens to me! She's me! ME! I have a say in what happens to me, no you, not anybody, and especially not YOU!" she jabbed her quivering finger at Brago. "NOT YOU! NOT ANYBODY!"

She collapsed to the floor, crunching herself up in a fetal position and whimpering. Every part of the young girl's body was quivering. Chunks of torn-out pink hair slipped from her tense fingers. Her breaths were quick and raspy, as if she had nearly drowned and was desperately trying to breathe into lungs full of water.

"Enough!" Megumi exclaimed angrily, running to the shaking girl's aid and gathering her up in her arms. "Please, Brago," she spoke in a gentler tone this time, almost pleading. "She already had to suffer through one of these earlier on."

"But Megumi, you were the one who read it in the first place..."

"Shut up Zatch, don't ruin this moment!. Anyway, don't you think she had enough of this?" Megumi stared into his eyes, her own eyes brimming with emotion. "Please, Brago, give her a break."

For a split moment, but just a split moment, Brago actually seemed to be considering it. He looked upon the young girl and his eyes widened. The traumatized child clung to her reader in pure fear and desperation, a scene that reminded him of himself so many years ago. He, once a scared, unsure child who relied so heavily on his mother, was sure he was now looking into a mirror from the past. Tears willed up in his eyes and some may say that in that brief millisecond, his heart grew two sizes...

However, he quickly remembered where he was and who he was with.

"You know, I was going to, but then I remembered that I hate you all. Screw you."

So Brago continued reading the grotesque Kanchome/Tia action, a scene that, despite being relatively tame compared to previous fics, was more scarring and revolting than all of the romantic fanfictions before it. In fact, it's so disgusting that I'm sparing you the mental scars by not writing it out. Don't say I never did anything for you.

By the time it was over, Kido was safely hidden in the Doctor's hat and Ponygon had his face buried in Sunbeam's lap, bawling uncontrollably. Wonrei and Li-en clung to each other, too horrified for words. Tia had long since passed out due to shock and disgust. Zeno, evil, sadistic Zeno, was even disturbed as his saucer-sized eyes told. Even Suzy, lover of all things romantic, was left speechless, her mouth moving up and down like a fish but with no words coming out. The only one who looked reasonably unfazed was Kanchome himself, who looked about the room in confusion. Unfortunately, Folgore had not returned from his, ehem, "bathroom break", and had not experienced Kanchome's (fictitious but still incredible) accomplishment.

"Oh my God, oh God," Kiyo moaned, holding his stomach and kneeling over. "That..."

Kiyo was unable to finish his sentence, jumping up and desperately looking for something to empty out the contents of his stomach into. He had to settle for Suzy's basket of oranges, much to her dismay.

"God, shut UP!" Kiyo groaned in reply to the girl's shrill squeals, throwing his head back and placing his hands over his eyes. "If I didn't like you before, what makes you think listening to that is going to change anything?"

Even Brago, despite being the reader and have consented to go through with such a... abomination to all things romantic, was shuddering in disgust.

"Well that was..." he paused, swallowing back some stomach acid and putting on a brave face. If he had to suffer a little to make these childish weaklings suffer a lot, then so be it. "Oh look, another paragraph just describing them making out. Let's take a look, shall we?"

I'm leaving that out too. God, am I ever a saint.

_**...Suddenly there was a knock on the door.**_

**_"What's that noise?" yelled a nasally, nerdy voice from outside. "There better not be any hanky-panky going on in there!"_**

**_"Oh no!" gasped Tia. "It's the professor! Quick, we can't let him see our love, we must hide!"_**

**_It was too late though, the old wooden door was easily broken down. There he stood, Professor Brago, glasses, plaid suit, inhaler and all. Ever since losing the Mamodo battle, Brago really let himself go..._**

Brago trailed off, paling. He was sure for a moment his heart stopped. He couldn't speak, only strange wheezes came out every time he opened his mouth. So there he sat in silence for a good minute, just staring at the screen. The story, one that he was sure would cause much stress and horror to Zatch and friends, had turned on him.

"Oh, uh..." he finally stuttered, fidgeting anxiously in his chair. "Perhaps this would be a good time to stop. I-I got my laughs, I see no reason to cause you all anymore pain..."

The group smiled to each other. Even Sherry couldn't help but crack a small grin, slightly satisfied with seeing her Mamodo's arrogance suddenly drain.

"Brago," said Sherry calmly, folding her hands together. "You agreed to do this, so now you have to go along with your promise."

"But-but Sherry, you saw what they-"

"Uh uh uh, no buts! You picked this story, so you're going to read it. If it didn't work out the way you thought it would, well, you have no one to blame but yourself."

Brago could hardly believe what was happening. His own reader had forsaken him in his time of need. For a moment his blood ran cold, and he truly felt afraid.

"Sherry..." he whispered in desperation, hoping nobody noticed his suddenly pathetic tone. She simply shook her head, refusing to help him this time. It didn't take Brago very long, however, to resume to his usual self. He glared at his reader, and at the group who now waited eagerly. "Fine!" he angrily exclaimed, swiftly turning back towards the computer. "I shall... read the rest of this story... but don't expect me take any joy in it though..."

"Trust me Brago," chuckled Wonrei. "We're hoping for the exact opposite."

_**Brago had gained 200 pounds, and the only style of clothes that fit was in plaid. Even that was just barely fitting, as there was already a popped button right in the middle of the suit, leaving an ugly gap. The rest of the buttons held on for dear life, although things were not looking good for them either. Due to becoming so morbidly obese, Brago had trouble breathing and frequently used an inhaler.**_

"Why do people hate me so much...?"

_**Also, he lost most of his powers from frequent illegal drug use after the Mamodo battle. He became so weak that he was basically useless to the Mamodo world now. However, he did manage to turn his life around by educating himself, working harder than anyone could have believed. He knew he was no longer a fighter, but he was determined to help his world one way or another. Finally, his studying paid off and he became one of the greatest professors Mamodo High could have. However, that didn't mean he was exactly popular with the students. Brago seemed to have forgotten what it was like to be a teenager and, after several years of isolation with his studies, he had become rather socially awkward.**_

**_"I knew it!" he snorted, mucus pouring out of his nose. "I knew there were naughty things going on in here. You... you sick, sick kids. What in the gosh darn heavens is wrong with the lot of you? Naughty, naughty tv and internet and all that is effecting you so negatively. Yucky, yucky things are happening up there in your mind and you think you should just follow those dirty thoughts? Gosh no! Go outside and play some tag... duck duck goose... baseball. You're all so young and beautiful, enjoy your youth... because I never did."_**

"Wow, this isn't even all that funny," sigh Megumi, resting her face in her hand. "This is just sad... pathetic," she looked towards Brago, who was silently praying for the sweet mercy that was death. "I almost feel sorry for him."

_**"You're just jealous you haven't had any in awhile!" stated Tia, standing up and glaring up at him.**_

"Well that was a mood killer..."

_**Well, never was actually closer to the truth for Brago.**_

Brago cried out, crashing his head against the keyboard and letting his arms fall loosely to his side.

"Please," Brago begged, cringing in disgust at what he had to resort to. "No more... I was...w-w-wrong," he choked as if he was saying the most foul word in the English language. "Just... no more... don't make me read anymore... please..."

The group smiled at one another once again, then turned towards Sherry who gave an approving nod.

"I think he's learned his lesson, I don't see any reason for him to suffer anymore."

"Besides," added Kiyo, gently moving Brago out of the chair and taking his place. "That was kind of creepy, and not just the Tia/Kanchome stuff. Just thinking about Brago looking and acting like that... ugh," he shuddered, trying to erase the mental image from his mind. "However, a story about Mamodos in highschool... kind of interests me. I actually wouldn't mind reading a little more," the children turned to him suddenly, horrified by his confession. "Granted, the structure isn't all that great and it went off with a bad start, but the story itself could be actually really interesting. The plot, I mean, could turn out to be really fabulous if we just give it a chance. If I run into any creepy romance scenes, I promise I'll skip them."

Tia let out a sigh of relief, nodding.

"I don't understand," commented Megumi, raising her eyebrow in confusion. "You hate being on this site. You even hate reading. Why on earth would you continue with it?"

"Because," sighed Kiyo, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. "I need to be sure there is at least one good fanfiction among these thousands of bad ones. And if it's like looking for a needle in a haystack, then so be it."


	29. Fast Times at Mamodo High part 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. For this chapter, I used bits and pieces from both more recent and older suggestions and somehow managed to make it work. :P And... that's about all I have to say for the moment. Enjoy.**

**Ah! Wait, one more thing. I'd like to thank Jessa Rose for giving me my 300th review. *hands Jessa Rose a plate of 30 freshly baked cookies* Enjoy! :D**

**WARNING: Looooonnnnngggg chapter. Really long chapter. Even more so than the first. Really sorry about this, just how it turned out.**

* * *

**__****Chapter 2**

**_Hey guys thanx for the reviews YOU ROCK! :) I hope you enjoy this chapter!_**

"I have high doubts about that," sighed Dr. Riddles, unconvinced. Kido clutched his shoulders, peering out from behind his head.

"I-is it safe yet Doctor?" he stammered, still greatly disturbed from the last chapter. The Doctor laughed.

"Don't worry Kido," he chuckled, patting the child's head. "If not, I shall call upon the Majestic Twelve to rescue us from this horror!"

Kido's face quickly brightened. "Really Doctor?"

Dr. Riddle's smirked. It never got old.

"Kid-ding!"

"WHA-oh god why do I keep falling for these?"

_**Zeno sighed sadly,-**_

Kiyo turned to Zeno, grinning evilly.

"Don't push your luck," snarled Zeno. "The only reason I haven't destroyed you all is because I enjoy listening to your characters getting brutally raped and butchered."

Kiyo silently contemplated how Zeno knew to use the word "raped" to mean butchered in that sense. He also briefly wondered how he knew the word in the first place, but he decided that was a question best left unanswered.

_**-staring out of the castle window. Despite the fact that he had lost the battle, he was still King Zatch's brother and therefore a prince. Zatch had forgiven Zeno of the past and allowed him to live with him. Zeno wasn't happy though. Sure, he was grateful that Zatch allowed him to live in the castle, but Zeno could never stop thinking about the lover he left behind.**_

The group turned to look at him, smirking.

"You? With a girlfriend?" laughed Wonrei. "The poor girl must be some sort of masochist."

"Why would I want a girlfriend?" Zeno snorted, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. "That's gross."

Despite being a bit of a twisted sadist, he was still a six-year-old child.

_**He sighed once more, letting a single tear roll down his pale face.**_

**_"Thinking about him again,-_**

"HIM?" roared Zeno, slamming his fists down on the floor. Although he had already been paired with a male (heck! His brother) in an earlier fanfiction, he hadn't entirely caught on to it due to his young age. Plus, Dufort had gladly left it before it got too explicit. This fanfiction, however, straight out said it.

"I was right," announced Kiyo cockily. "It IS a good story."

_**-aren't you?" said a voice behind him. Zeno gasped and turned around to find his brother, King Zatch Bell, standing there.**_

**_"Your Highness," he muttered, bowing._**

"Never!" spat Zeno with the utmost disgust. Zatch, on the other hand, was highly amused with this turn of events.

"Now now brother," Zatch laughed, sticking out his tongue playfully. "Get on your knees and bow to your king! Nah nah!"

"You're asking for it!" warned Zeno, standing. Dufort was already reaching for the book, not even needing to be told. Kiyo, however, was just as quick.

"Not now boys," interrupted Megumi, standing in between the powerful children and their readers. "You guys can settle this some other time. Right now we have another evil to deal with," she pointed to the computer. "Fanfiction."

_**Zatch simply laughed. "Oh you don't have to refer to me as that, we're brothers after all. Besides, we're both royality.**_

**_"Yes, but I'm not as great as you," whispered Zeno shyly._**

Zeno growled, but attempted to remain calm.

_**"Whatever," laughed Zatch. His brother had such a low self-esteem lately, much different from his past self. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question. Are you thinking about him again?"**_

_**Zeno allowed more tears to stream down his face. "Of course," he sighed. "I never stopped."**_

_**"Brother," said Zatch compassionately, putting his arm around his shoulder. "I know how much it hurts, but it's been almost a decade since you've seen him,-**_

The group turned again to look at the paling Dufort. Unless it was some sort of strange crack pairing, it was pretty obvious who the said lover would be.

"God," Wonrei finally managed to choke out. "These authors are bent!"

"Please tell me you did not just realize that?" exclaimed Dr. Riddles, narrowing his eyes at Wonrei in disbelief.

"No," muttered Wonrei, looking away and snuggling up closer to Li-en. "It's just... I can't get over how disturbing these all are."

Li-en cooed with sympathy. Realizing he could use this to his advantage, he a faked a whimper, nuzzling his face in between the bosom of his beloved. He grinned slightly as Li-en threw her arms around him, squeezing him closer.

"It's okay," Li-en soothed, holding him and rubbing his back. "We understand. It's not your fault."

_**-don't you think it's time you let go?"**_

**_"What do you know about love?" exclaimed Zeno suddenly, standing up and facing his twin angrily. "You don't even see your girlfriend anymore!"_**

**_Zatch sighed sadly, sitting down._**

**_"I try, I really do," he said sadly. "It's just... my advisers won't let me. They say I shouldn't focus on love right now, that it'll only distract me from what's important. Whenever I try to leave to see her they coax me back into the castle, telling me I've got some important business to take care of. I rarely see her at school because I have my own private classes and body guards, not my choice. They won't even let me call her. She's left me so many messages, each one sadder than the last," a tear rolled down his face. "I never meant to hurt her."_**

"Aww," sighed Tia, her eyes watering with happiness. She was obviously getting too caught up in the fanfiction again. "He... he does care about me."

"And you had to ruin it by fooling around with Kanchome," snickered Kiyo, completely ruining the moment for her.

"Of course I care," laughed Zatch, in complete ignorance to what she had actually meant by that. "You're like one of my best friends!"

Tia contemplated whether to strangle him for being so ignorant, or embrace him for being so innocently sweet. Either one would probably end up scaring him off, so she decided neither.

_**"I'm sorry," said Zeno sadly. **_

"I think we should make a game out of this fanfiction by counting how many times the author says the word 'sad' or 'sadly'," chuckled Kiyo. "So far I've counted four."

_**"I know you love her, I guess I've just been a little touchy lately. I know I should get over him, but... I can't," Zeno paused, sniffling sadly.**_

"Five."

_**"Dufort was such an important part of my life, I can't just forget him like that. Plus I guess I have a thing for guy with physic abilities."**_

**_Zatch smiled. "What things do you like about him, anyway?"_**

**_Zeno giggled._**

"Liar!" screamed Zeno, jabbing his finger at Kiyo. "You said you would skip any creepy romantic scenes."

"Ah, but there isn't any actual romance in this scene," stated Kiyo slyly. "Only implication. There's a difference."

Zeno snarled, then turned to his book reader in a panic.

"You! You've got some sort of psychic ability, so... so use them! Control his mind, make his head blow up, throw him out of the way with your mind-I DON'T CARE! Just do something!"

Dufort simply shrugged. Those were not part of his abilities. Zeno let out an anguished cry.

"You are useless! I would never date you! And by the way, you'd be so much cooler if you could make someone's head blow up... but I still wouldn't date you even then!"

_**"Well," he began shyly, twirling a lock of his hair. "I guess... everything..." he blushed, even around his own brother he was embarrassed of speaking of his love life. "The little things, to begin with. His ivory hair, his smooth, flawless skin, even his voice. He rarely spoke, but when he did, ooooh..." Zeno moaned in ecstasy.**_

"This is incredibly creepy," muttered Sunbeam, wide-eyed. Between his right arm lay Ponygon, quivering and crying silently. Despite the fact that Ponygon was one of the few whose character recieved relatively little butchering, he still remained one of the more traumatized of the group. Perhaps he was losing it, or perhaps he'd just always been a closet sadist, but Kiyo, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye, was slowly beginning to enjoy the effect fanfiction was having on little Ponygon. He wouldn't admit it of course, but, after all the months of having to explain the bite marks on his hands, he saw this as subtle revenge. Kiyo, having had a good inside laugh at Ponygon's expence, then shifted his eyes towards to Zeno, who was vibrating with anger but had yet to make a comment. Kiyo smiled, even if Zeno was to kill everyone in the room, it wouldn't change anything on Fanfiction dot net. Unless the author chose to terminate it, the fanfiction would live on. It would continue to be updated, read, and commented on. Years after the Mamodo battle, there it would be, _Fast Times at Mamodo High_, lost among the thousands of newer fics but still very much alive. Perhaps a person would find it after all those years while browsing through the older fanfiction. Perhaps he would read it and enjoy it and laugh at how pathetic and OOC Zeno is. Perhaps he would recommend it to all his friends, who would then recommend it to all their friends, and so on and so forth...

To put it simply, Zeno would never truly be free of it. Just like the rest of the group would never be free of all the pornography, pairings, trolls/n00bs, crossovers, butcherings, OOCness, and (oh god have mercy) Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus they suffered through.

_**But suddenly he looked sad.**_

"Six."

_**"B-but I'll never see him again," Zeno sobbed sadly.**_

"Seven. Gosh this is a little angst-ridden piece, isn't it?"

_**"And I don't know how to live without him."**_

**_Zatch hugged his dear brother close._**

**_"I know, I know. That's how I felt when I had to leave Kiyo. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I know our love wouldn't have lasted anyway so that's why I moved on and started dating Tia..._**

It was then Kiyo truly understood how Brago had felt earlier before. His heart rate increased. He could feel the perspiration beginning to form on his face and back. He drew in a breath and held it. He knew he couldn't skip through this part without the group noticing, he had already read too far into it. He began to squirm. He could see Zeno's wide grin out of the corner of his eye. He shuddered, knowing full well this was entirely his fault. Like Brago just a chapter earlier, he had gotten too cocky, too confident, and now he would pay the price.

"Eewww," Zatch cringed, stiffening his shoulders up. "That's the grossest thing I ever heard. Even grosser than me and Tia, YUCK!... Oh hey Tia, why are you looking at me like that?... You okay?... Tia? TiAGGH! *cough* TIA STOP! *gasp* TIIIIIAAA I C-CAN'T... BRRREEAATHEE... *cough gag*... W-WHY?"

"What are you waiting for?" hissed Zeno, his grin growing wider with each passing second. His voice was ice-cold. "Aren't you going to finish what you started? It is what you wanted. Such a lovely story too, would be a shame to deprive your guests of such a fine work of literature."

...Finish what you started...

That one sentence rang through Kiyo's ears, down his spine, throughout his body, causing him to shiver slightly. Kiyo was not a sensitive guy, but even he couldn't stop the tears from forming in his eyes. It wasn't fair, he was not usually a cocky person (well, at least he didn't think so. Others may say differently), so why was it that the one little itty bitty time he allowed that emotion to emerge, it had to turn around and bite him on the butt?

Kiyo slowly turned to peer at his audience. It was looking upon them that he realized how truly large of a group it came to be. However, that wasn't what took him by surprise, oh no, it was their expressions. Unfazed. Not disgusted, horrified, or frightened, just... unfazed. Even poor little Ponygon had calmed down enough to sit there quietly and listen. Perhaps there was even a little bit of curiosity in some of the looks, but only a little. For awhile Kiyo couldn't for the life of him figure out why mostly everybody was suddenly so nonchalant about it, but finally it dawned on him. The group already had to suffer through similar fanfictions with similar pairings, and this was no exception. After all they had been through, they had finally become used to it. No matter how disturbing, it would not faze them. Kiyo wasn't sure to feel relief, or worry.

"Why must you tease me like this?" wailed Suzy as she sobbed into her hands, causing Kiyo to swiftly look in her direction. Ah, right, Suzy. He had forgotten about her. Perhaps what was said earlier about the group being unfazed didn't apply to everyone. "You'd rather have a six-year-old boy than a real woman like me? W-well fine! FINE! I don't care! You do whatever the heck feels right! I won't stand in your waOH GOD KIYO PLEEEASE! TAKE MEEEEEE! TAKE ME NOW!"

Kiyo let out a slight squeak, turning away from her quickly. He began to gnaw on his lip. He could feel the grins of Zeno and Brago baring down on his back. He inhaled deeply once again, closing his eyes. It didn't matter. No matter what he did, he would still be humiliated.

"Do you all mind if... I skip through this?" he finally whimpered, hanging his head. "Please?" he had been so sure of himself, of this fanfiction, but now there he was, resorting to begging. He'd never felt more ashamed. Granted, Kiyo was not a particularly proud man to begin with, but fanfiction did strange things to you. Abnormal things. Things the put you almost... out of character.

The group grinned slightly, chuckling and muttering among themselves. They then looked to Sherry, who, for some reason, seemed to have been chosen as the group's decision maker.

"Do what feels right," she said, waving her hand slightly. "If you don't wish to read through it any longer, I see no reason why you should have to. It's your choice."

Brago's face fell. "But-but... You didn't let me skip through that easily. I was practically on my hands and knees before you said I could... It's not fair! Why is he getting off so easily?"

"Hush Brago. I didn't let you off so easily because you were using it as some form of revenge. Kiyo, on the other hand, was only reading it because he was curious, not to bother anyone."

"That's bull! It was so obvious Kiyo was trying to get on Zeno's nerves by reading that horrible ZenoDufort slash bit. Zeno, don't you wish too make Kiyo suffer as you did?"

Zeno shrugged. "Quite honestly, I don't really care. That bit probably would've ended up coming back at me and my relationship anyway, so this may be for the best. Besides," Zeno flashed a sinister grin. "I think I've gotten my fix. Watching Kiyo squirm in agony and humiliation once he realized the fic was going to turn on him is satisfying enough."

Brago was flabbergasted. "But... you... evil... hate... Zatch... Kiyo... uh... wha... huh?... I..."

Sherry sighed. "Calm down Brago, don't make me put you in the time-out corner."

"You can't put me in a time-out corner! It's not fair! I didn't do anything! You're favoring Kiyo over me and-"

"That's enough Brago, go sit in that corner over there until you've calmed down a bit."

"But-"

"I said go."

Brago shuffled over to the corner, pouting and grumbling. Kiyo, meanwhile, was gladly skimming through the fanfiction.

_**-"Oh Kanchome," sighed Tia romantically, snuggling into the arms of her beloved-**_

"SKIP! NOW!"

"Ah come on Tia I was only kidding-"

"NO MORE ROMANCE. NO... MORE... ROMANCE..."

"Alright! Alright! I'm looking! I'm looking!"

_**-Brago and Wonrei were sitting around in the teachers lobby drinking coffee.**_

**_"So how was your day," Wonrei asked Brago as he sipped his coffee. Wonrei didn't really like Brago but there was no one else to talk to._**

**_"Horrible!" snorted Brago as he picked his nose._**

Even though Brago's back was turned from the group, you could still see him tensing up from that sentence.

_**"Today I caught Tia and Kanchome doing the nasty in the locker rooms!"**_

Tia cringed. She resented the fact that she had to be reminded of the events of the last chapter every few sentences. Although she was young, she was old enough to realize "doing the nasty" probably meant more than just kissing, and that thought never failed to make her shudder everytime it ran through her head. Kanchome, who lived with one of the biggest womanizers that ever walked the planet, knew a little more than he should and couldn't help but smirk when that line was read. Sure, it was nothing compared to the whole love scene from the last chapter, he just enjoyed the pain it caused Tia.

_**Wonrei laughed. "Oh that's nothing. I'm sure lots of kids have been using the locker rooms for that even before them. It's not a big deal."**_

**_Wonrei was the cool teacher. After the mamodo battle, he really worked out and got a hot body that made all the women swoon. He also had several piercings in his ears, a nose ring, and a tattoo of a heart that said "Li-en" in the middle, his one and only true love._**

"Oh Wonrei," exclaimed Li-en, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his check.

_**He was possibly the hottest teacher in the whole school. The girls would practically beg for him the come and teach them. Unfortunately, most of them had fatty Brago, much to their disgust.**_

"Unbelievable," Brago snorted, crouching further into the corner.

"You're just jealous 'cause the author doesn't think you're sexy," boasted Wonrei, beaming with pride.

_**Wonrei flexed his hot muscles a bit, he knew it made Brago jealous.**_

"NEVER will I be jealous of YOU!" snarled Brago, turning around and spitting in Wonrei's general direction. This landed him ten extra minutes in the time-out corner.

_**Yeah, but... it's not fair!" choked Brago, beginning to cry. Wonrei patted him on the back.**_

**_"There, there," he said, sighing. "It'll be okay. I'm sure you'll find that special girl one day."_**

**_Brago sniffled. "You really think?"_**

**_"Sure," Wonrei said, trying to pull away from Brago, who was getting tears and snot all over his awesome sexy outfit._**

**_"Oh thank you!" he cried, grabbing him into a hug and getting more of his disgusting body fluids all over hotty Wonrei._**

**_"No problem," muttered Wonrei, hating the feeling of gross and ugly Brago-_**

"'Come on Brago,'" murmured Brago, obviously mimicking Sherry. "'Let's just check it out for a bit. It'll be fun Brago. Just think about all the fanfiction about you. Imagine all the fans you have. I'm sure you won't even be able to count them all. They'll all want a piece of you!' Ha! Fans my ass."

_**-crying his gross adult virgin tears all over him.**_

"Virgin tears? That doesn't even make any sense! Why would virgin tears be any different than non-virgin tears? And my tears are not gross! They are just as clean and salty and... uh... teary as everybody elses! How dare she!"

_**"Wonrei?" said Brago, sniffling.**_

**_"Yeah?" _**

**_"Could... could you teach me how to be a man?"_**

**_Wonrei looked surprised, but also slightly relieved. It was about time. "Sure."_**

**_Brago squealed, clapping his hands girlishly. "Oh boy, I'm going to be a man!"_**

**_"Okay, first you have to stop jumping up and down and clapping like that."_**

**_"Sorry."_**

**_"Then, we need to get you a new wardrobe."_**

**_So Brago and Wonrei went to the mall. The had to go to the extra large stores because Brago was such a freaking fatass. There Brago tried on cowboy outfits, clown outfits, biker outfits (A/N: This would be funnier if it was an actual cartoon montage, lol ;P), emo outfits, goth outfits, prep outfits, jock outfits, gangster outfits-_**

"This is unbelievably boring," sighed Sunbeam, pulling his face down and yawning

"Hey, as long as it's not a me-on-Brago slash, I could care less," retorted Wonrei, raising his hands in the air in defense. "Say, what is it with teenage girls and slash anyway?"

Kiyo shrugged. "I guess they like what they can't have."

"Alright fine, but even so what is it about two guys having sex that is so appealing to a girl? Now, I'm not condemning it or anything like that, but I just can't understand why girls find it so hot for a guy to stick his-"

"Yes, alright, thank you Wonrei. No, I don't understand either, but if you ever start describing that again I swear I will go out of my way just to find graphic slash containing you."

"...I'll be quiet."

Kiyo, however, did agree with Sunbeam's comment and chose to skip through fanfiction once again to find a more interesting bit.

-_**As usual, Penny was outside the school, whoring herself out.**_

The younger mamodos squinted their eyes. "What?" they said, genuinely confused.

"She's not here, right?" exclaimed Kiyo, frantically looking over his shoulders. "I mean, she didn't arrive at one point, right? Right? Oh god please..."

"Hurry, skip before she randomly appears!" some of the group shouted frenetically.

_**-"Ew, ew, ewwww!" Emily, Tia's bestest friend in the whole wide Mamodo world-**_

"I don't even know an Emily!" cried Tia. "Why couldn't the author have given me someone I actually know as a friend? Why does there always seem to be at least one original character in these stories, is it really necessary? At least she's not a Mary-Sue, but still! Okay,I understand I could meet someone later on, but Emily isn't even a Mamodo name! It's too... Earthy! Come on, she could have done her research! Do ANY of these authors know anything about us, or did they just watch one episode of our supposed show and say 'hey, this is awesome! Imma write about this on Fanfiction 'cause I'm too lazy to actually go outside and enjoy the real world'? And that reminds me, is there any explanation to why we have our own section on Fanfiction anyway? For god's sake, we should be scared crapless! Does that not bother anyone? ANYONE? Huh? Huh? What does it mean? Did somebody cast a voodoo spell on us? Is there a higher power than us somewhere typing our words as we speak? And not only that, but a good number of the guests here arrived with no idea how they got here and how they found out about this? DOESN'T THAT WORRY YOU? AT ALL? ANYBODY? For the love of god this is not normal, we need answers! We deserve answers! Did everybody's mind go dead the moment you laid eyes on this site? Am I'm the only sane person in the room? PERHAPS I AM! HA! HA HA HA! I'M THE ONLY SANE ONE! MEEEEE..."

Tia ranted and raged for a bit as Kiyo attempted to continue on with the story.

"Make a liar out of me," muttered Kiyo, who had only a few minutes earlier noted how collected and calm the group was. He guessed as long as the scene wasn't butchering any of them, they were fine with it.

Bastards.

_**-said as she cringed. "I haaaatttteee math class! Yuck! OMG!"**_

**_Tia giggled. "I know right? At least we have Professor Wonrei. He's soooo cute!"_**

Wonrei peered at the small girl in disgust, who had now somehow tied her rant into _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ and how 42 could not possibly be the ultimate answer as it made no logical sense.

_**Emily giggled. "He is. Oh, that reminds me, how was your hoooooooooottttt date with Zatch the other night?"**_

**_Tia cringed. "Uh... fine. You know... we did stuff..."_**

**_"Ooooooh, what kinda stuff? Give me ALL the details!"_**

**_"Ya know, fun stuff..."_**

**_"Oooh, secretive, huh?" Emily giggled. "Okay, it's your life._**

**_Suddenly Kanchome walked by the girls._**

**_"Hey," he said to Tia, winking. Tia bit her lip, blushing._**

**_"Ew, go away!" yelled Emily, causing Kanchome to run away screaming. Tia sighed sadly. "Freak! What is with him anyway? He's been following you around like a puppy!"_**

**_Tia shrugged. "I iunno... he's just... clingy I guess..."_**

**_"Yeah but it's not like you're friends. It's so sudden, and sooooo creepy. Ew! Hate that slime bag!"_**

**_"Hey, don't call him that!" exclaimed Tia suddenly, surprising Emily._**

**_"What is with you girl?" said Emily, shocked. "We always used to make fun of the little freak together. And then after, what, two days, you suddenly decide you don't like it? What, are you two BFFs now?"_**

**_"No, you... just wouldn't understand." sighed Tia._**

**_"Whatever," replied Emily, irritated. "Come on, let's get to class."_**

**_So the girls went to class. They sat down. They took out their pens. They took out their paper. They took out the-_**

"ENOUGH!" roared Sunbeam, throwing his head back. "This. Is. Incredibly. BORING! Every moment of this stupid, crappy, teenie-bopper shit is putting me to sleep! Did the author even put any effort into this, or was it just written to fulfil the author's character fantasies? I'm guessing the latter one. GOD! Is this ever boring! BOR-ING! Please Kiyo, if you have any mercy, you will discontinue reading this random teenage babbling! NOT GROOVY!"

Sherry watched him, not alarmed but still concerned. "Perhaps we should leave this site now," she suggested. "Maybe we should just leave this stuff to people who know it well. Obviously we're all not used to it's power, and didn't know what we were getting ourselves into in the first place. We're ignorant, it's best if we leave while the most of us are still sane."

"That's not true," retorted Kiyo. "Not all of us were ignorant to fanfiction. Why, Folgore himself is a fairly big fanatic. He knows all about fanfiction, and how bad some of them can be..."

Kiyo trailed off suddenly, staring into space. Folgore. Dear god...

...Folgore knew of the evils that some fanfictions brought, but yet he allowed the group to go through with it. Folgore could have stopped it. Folgore could've told him what horrors some of those stories held. But he didn't. They had suffered through well over 20 fanfictions, Folgore just allowing them to do so. He knew how bad some of them were. He knew that it was a rare occurrence to find a good one. He knew what it could do to your mental health.

He knew.

"Ah, well'a... that'a was'a... refreshing to say'a the least," chuckled Folgore as he walked in, blushing slightly and tugging at his fly. "So'a... where were we?"

"You..." hissed Kiyo, jabbing his finger at Folgore, directing all his anger at the very confused Italian man. "YOU!"

* * *

**Wow, I'm genuinely surprised at myself for actually writing something longer than 2000 words, haha. Again, for anyone who doesn't like long reads, I do apologize for the long length. It's the only way I can fit in all that is important, and I didn't want to break it into a third chapter. I'm not sure if all the new chapters will be this long, but we'll see. It's looking like it may be, although it may depend on the content. Also, this chapter focused more on romance than I actually intended it to, so I also apologize for that. The thing about high school stories is that that usually tends to be their main focus, so it was difficult to kind of sway the plot away from that (if you can call it a plot, that is). I already warned you last chapter of what they'll be going onto next, so hold onto your hats, because you're in for some serious shit!**


	30. My Immortal part 1

**A/N: Usually I don't reply to comments straight in my author's notes, but seeing as this certain person posted anonymous , I will answer her question here. This goes to "Melissa-chan". First of all, thank you so much for your kind comment, I'm glad you're enjoying the fanfiction. Second of all, to answer yourquestion, the reason why I use the Americanized names instead of the original Japanese names is simply because a lot of people are more familiar with the dub and the translated manga (although, I have to admit, it is a lot of fun to be able to write in Folgore's horrible mock-Italian accent). I myself actually do prefer the original version over the dub, not because it's "OMFG JAPANESE KAWAIINEKODESUDESUDESU!1one", but because a lot was actually cut and edited in the dub (although I can't blame them for giving Zatch/Gash underwear in certain scenes. Those who've seen the original version know what I mean xp). However, I tried to keep as much as the original version's characters' personalities as I could (such as Folgore being more of a womanizer/pervert, which is toned down in the dub). Besides, as I'm sure many fans can agree, I sleep soundly knowing that at least it wasn't 4Kids that bought the series. ;) Thank you everybody else who has been kind enough to leave me a comment. I'm sorry I can't reply to all of you, but I truly am grateful.**

******WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD**

* * *

Kiyo let loose a tremendous roar of power, lunging at Folgore and effortlessly throwing him to the ground.

"YOU KNEW!" he shrieked directly in Folgore's face, shaking his shoulders roughly. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"What'a do you mean," sobbed Folgore, desperately trying to escape Kiyo's death grip. For a fourteen-year-old kid, he was unusually strong. I mean, god, even Folgore, a completely heterosexual (although still questionable) male, couldn't help but briefly admire Kiyo's bulging muscles shortly before his fist collided with his face.

Poor, ignorant Folgore. He couldn't for the life of himself figure out why he was constantly being attacked everytime he walked through the door. I mean, this was the third time after all, you're naturally going to start to wonder. Folgore decided at that moment, while Kiyo lay upon him in a threatening albeit questionable position, that if nature called or he had any other... urges, he would simply have to hold them back or risk being murdered in a teenage boy's bedroom. Truly an unflattering death for him, Parco Folgore. What would the tabloids say?

**ITALIAN SUPERSTAR PARCO FOLGORE MURDERED IN JAPANESE HOMOSEXUAL TEEN LOVER'S BEDROOM. SOURCES CLAIM HE WAS IN THE MIDSTS OF AN ORGY BETWEEN NOT ONLY VARIOUS ADULTS AND TEENAGERS, BUT THREE CHILDREN, A DUCK, A PUPPET/ROBOT THING, AND A HORSE. OUR STAR REPORTER, JOHN DIKSFERBRAIN, CLAIMS TO HAVE STUNNING VIDEO EVIDENCE OF THAT FATEFUL AFTERNOON...**

How undistinguished that would be. I mean, those ridiculous gossip magazines could be so cruel sometimes, and definitely wouldn't miss an opportunity if one was to pass them by. Being an unbelievably talented, attractive, sexy, demi-god of star did have it's downs, which Folgore was more than aware of. Why, there was this one time when the-

"DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" snarled Kiyo, snapping Folgore back into reality.

"W...what?" he murmured slowly, still slightly dazed. Kiyo's face twisted into a frightening grimace, his hands slowly moving from Folgore's shoulders to his neck.

"Did you listen to a word I said?" despite having lowered his tone, his voice was just as threatening and intimidating as before, perhaps more so. Folgore gulped. He could swear Kiyo had just grown horns and fangs.

"I... I don't'a know'a what'a you're'a talkin' about," he whimpered, genuinely confused. He shrieked when Kiyo's hands began to close on his neck. "Please'a! Please'a! What'a you'a doin'? Can't'a we'a talk'a like'a dignified adults? Please'a? Oh god, Kanchome! Do'a somethin'!"

"O...okay Folgore! I-RON MAN FOLGORE! IN-VIN-SA-BLE FOLG-"

"No, no, Kanchome, you'a don't'a understand... that's'a not gonna work..."

In response to that, unusually bold little Kanchome tottered up to Kiyo and gave him a hard shove to the leg. However, this only angered the now Oni-faced Kiyo even more, forcing Kanchome to hurriedly retreat and cower in a corner for a good majority of this one-sided fight scene.

"K-Kiyo, buddy, pal, _amico_," Folgore stammered in a jumble of Italian and English (Japanese?), desperately trying to keep his body from trembling anymore than it already was. "Why'a... why'a you'a doin' this? We're friends, right?"

"FRIENDS?" Kiyo choked, snorting heavily out his nose in a very Dr. Dartagnan-like manner. "Friends don't let friends do... do... THIS!"

He pointed his quivering finger towards the computer, in which Folgore cocked his head back in response.

"I'm'a sorry... but what?"

Kiyo exhaled, clambering off of the flushed blonde male. As he stood, he faced the window, allowing the light to dramatically shine upon him and silhouette his body. Some would view this great symbolism, actually going out of their way to find the true meaning behind it. In all honesty, however, it was really all just a bunch of B.S. and just happened to look cool enough that I felt the need to point it out.

"You knew," he replied simply, turning and staring down at him coldly.

"That... that's'a not really an answer..."

"Oh really?" he said calmly, kneeling down and tugging Folgore up by the collar so they were face to face. "How's this?"

And with that, he literally lifted the older male off the floor, slamming his body painfully against the wall. Folgore gasped in agony, crumpling to the floor. (God, Kiyo's a violent mofo. I'm sorry...)

"Kiyo..." Folgore breathed, desperately trying to back away as much as he could as Kiyo moved in for another blow.

"Is that a good enough answer for you?" demanded Kiyo as Folgore just barely dodged his fist.

"Kiyo, for the love of god, I'a can't'a understand what'a you'a-OH GOD!" his eyes snapped up and he shifted his body once again to the side, Kiyo's fist crashing just millimeters away from his face into the wall. Kiyo roared with anger and pain as he ripped his hand from the new hole, readying himself for yet another punch.

"Please'a, Kiyo, please'a," he was crawling on his knees now, regarding Kiyo with the respect that a peasant would his king. "Please'a, let's'a talk... let's'a talk about this'a. We'a... we'a can'a figure things'a out like'a mature adul-"

"ZAKER!" Folgore was so busy cowering, he didn't even notice Kiyo briefly walk away to retrieve his spell book. That is, of course, until a wave of powerful electricity hit him with the force of a freight train, sending his charred body into the wall.

"Kiyo!" exclaimed Zatch after coming to, staring with horror at Folgore's twitching form.

"Folgore!" screamed Kanchome, finally coming out of his fetal position to run to the aid of his book keeper. "I-RON MAN FOLGORE! IN-VIN-SA-BLE FOLGORE! BRAVE AND STRO-"

"What didn't you understand about that not working, Kanchome?" grumbled Kiyo as he loomed over the child, causing him to crouch in undying fear. Kiyo finally snapped. Again. "How ignorant are you? I mean, I knew you weren't the brightest bulb in the pack, but this just takes the cake."

"Hey'a, you'a wait a minute," exclaimed Folgore, slowly beginning to hoist himself up from the ground. By the expression on his face, you could tell this was not an easy task as lifting merely an arm was taking up all his strength. However, Kiyo, by picking on his mamodo, had crossed the line, and there was no was in hell he was going to just lay there and let that happen. "You'a have'a no right to insult my _bambino," _he shakily placed both hands on the floor, gradually arsing. "This'a fight... this'a ridiculous fight, is between _you'a_ and _me_!"

"Hmm," snorted Kiyo, turning back to Folgore. "Fine. Where were we?... Oh yeah, you knew."

"Stop saying that!" cried Folgore, leaping from the floor suddenly, a rush of adrenaline flowing through him. "Elaborate your answer! I don't understand'a what'a you'a mean when'a you'a say 'you'a knew'! EX...PLAIN!"

"Alright!" retorted Kiyo, shoving his face in Folgore's aggressively. "I'll explain. _YOU KNEW _how bad fanfiction could get! _YOU KNEW_ that only about 0.000000000000000001%, if not less, was halfway decent! _YOU KNEW _that most fanfiction writers were insane or perverts or both! And after knowing all that, you still allowed us to continue. LOOK AT US! LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO US! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU KNEW!"

Blink blink. "W-what?" Folgore exclaimed, finally finding the courage to shove Kiyo to the side. "You'a blamin' this'a all on'a me?"

"Well if you to put it that simply, yes."

"Wha... I... you..." blubbered Folgore, his mouth gaping open. "H... how... How can you blame'a this'a on'a me? "

"Well fairly easily actually. You see, you walked in the door and I-"

"No, I mean'a why would you'a blame'a this'a on'a me?"

"Oh. I already told you," Kiyo was strangely calm suddenly.

"But... but..." Folgore was truly and utterly flabbergasted. "But... you were reading this even before I arrived."

"Oh don't worry, I'm being fair about this," replied Kiyo nonchalantly, wandering towards the window and watching what little traffic there was flow by. "I'm not blaming you for the first few fics. Just... the rest after."

"But that'a doesn't make any sense!" exclaimed Folgore, the anger and frustration rising in his voice. "And that's not fair. Yeah, there's a lot of bad ones out there. And sure, I've'a read'a some stinkers, I won't'a lie, but I've also read some beautifully written masterpieces that, if it'a wasn't for the fact that they'a were fanfiction, could'a be published in a heartbeat. Yes, I'm'a experienced with fanfiction, but that still doesn't mean I know of every single fanfiction ever written! I'm'a not'a god, you'a know, although the women do say'a that when I-NO! NOT'A NOW! GET AHOLD OF YOUSELF FOLGORE! *ahem* Anyway, and I'm definitely not psychic. I'a can't'a know'a just by the title if something's'a good'a or something's'a bad. You'a are being a spoiled child, and if it wasn't for the fact that'a you're such a great'a friend, I'a could'a sue'a the pants off of you'a in a heartbeat. For I am'a the great Parco Folgore after all! And any case I'a had would'a be'a regarded as the truth... But really, I'a am seriously in the right right now though."

Kiyo huffed. Although he didn't make particularly great argument, Folgore still had a point and he knew it. Kiyo, however, was not ready to lose. Kiyo needed someone to blame, someone other than himself. In all honesty, Folgore just happened to be an easy target. Kiyo knew deep down in his heart that this wasn't _really _Folgore's fault at all. It was really nobody's fault. Or maybe it was (dare he think it) his and Zatch's fault. Maybe it was all his fault for not forcing Zatch to leave the site in the first place. That didn't matter at the moment though, Kiyo was hard headed, he was strong, and there was not way in hell he was just going to back down and lose to this flamboyant flaming freak. Besides, Folgore could have warned them before hand, or maybe even stopped them from reading when the fic got too bad to handle. But nooooo, he couldn't even do that! Bastard. Total bastard. You know what? You know how Kiyo was just rethinking his actions there? Yeah, he took at all back. It was totally Folgore's fault. Folgore was definitely in the wrong, and Kiyo had the most brilliant, thought-out, unbelievable, incredible comeback in the history of comebacks to back himself up with.

"Your mom," Kiyo retaliated, crossing his arms and turning away like a disgruntled three-year-old. Folgore's mouth fell to the floor, staring upon the teen in disgusted disbelief.

"...What?" Folgore finally blurted out, unable to find words to express his emotions for a good minute. "I... I just put'a my heart and soul into a response, and that's'a how'a you'a reply?"

"Mmmhmm."

"You... you..." Folgore stammered, his arms quivering. "You'a stupid, ignorant, selfish child! You'a even know you're'a wrong, but you'a still continue fighting your case. Who do you'a think' you'a are?"

"This wouldn't have happened if you just used some of that itty, bitty common sense of yours the moment we started suffering," yelled Kiyo in reply. His face fell when he turned to the computer. "It... It hurt us..." he whimpered rather pathetically.

"Oh, you'a really think you'a got it bad?" snorted Folgore, his eyes burning with pure hatred for the boy who dared blame his own misdoings on he, Parco Folgore. "You'a don't'a know'a bad. This'a stuff is'a nothing compared to what other crap is'a out there."

"Oh yeah?" retorted Kiyo haughtily. "Prove it!"

Folgore's eyes narrowed. "Oh... you'a don't'a want'a me to do that, trust me."

An arrogant grin crawled across Kiyo's face. "Oh, but I do. Well, unless, of course, you're full of B.S... Oh that's right, I'm talking to the great and mighty Parco Folgore. Every word that comes out of your mouth is a reeking pile of B.S."

"How dare you!" snarled Folgore, his eyes literally turning to an inhuman pitch black. "You'a arrogant little shit! Fine, you'a want'a proof, I'a give'a you'a proof!" Folgore turned to cast a sympathetic look out to the rest of the group. "And'a the rest of you... I'm'a sorry you'll'a have to suffer through this'a as'a well... but it's'a the only way."

Folgore then did something the group had wanted to do for several hours. He picked up the mouse, guided it to the Fanfiction logo on the top left, clicked it, and left the Zatch Bell section of Fanfiction.

It was that simple.

Having all witnessed what Folgore had just done, the group erupted into cheers of pure joy. Well, aside from Dufort, who wordlessly stared at the computer with a neutral expression on his face. But rest assured, he too was quite relieved.

"Don't'a cheer me on yet," Folgore spoke solemnly, waving them off. "Just'a because I've left that section doesn't mean the horror is over yet."

It was true, Folgore wasn't finished yet. Instead of leaving that disgusting, god-forsaken site, he clicked on the link that announced 'Search', directing Folgore to the site's search engine. He then typed in the two fateful words that would stay with the group for years to come, and pressed search. Choosing the 'Harry Potter' category, he scrolled through the various hundreds of fanfictions that shared the same title until a certain one caught his eye.

"Ah, here we are," he whispered, a sly smile crawling across his face.

"Folgore?" a voice said, causing Folgore to turn around in surprise. Standing by him was Kanchome, shyly tugging at his shirt. "Folgore, what exactly are you planning?"

Folgore looked down upon his innocent mamodo child and tears of pure hopelessness and anguish welled up in his eyes. Kanchome was practically like a son to him, and now there he was, about to put the most important being in his life through one of the most horrific and traumatizing creations of the 21st century. Folgore had the brief urge the scoot Kanchome, as well as some of the other mamodos and humans who had yet to piss him off, out the door to save them the mental damage. However, as much as it pained him, he knew this was going to be the wake up call the group desperately needed. He didn't want to hurt anyone, truly he didn't, but... sometimes that's just the way life works.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, turning away from Kanchome as a single, but very manly tear rolled down his face. "It'a has'a to be done."

Kanchome's eyes widened as he recoiled back. "Oh god Folgore, you don't mean-"

"Yes. I'm'a sorry."

Kanchome just stood there, his mouth hanging open slightly, his eyes devoid of any emotion. "Then god help us all," he whispered dramatically, turning his head up to the ceiling as if to stare up into space.

"Yes'a, god bless us," sighed Folgore as he began to read. The pain it would put Kiyo through would make it all worth it.

_**My Immortal**_

_**by XXXbloodyrists666XXX**_

"Bloody wrists?" snorted Kiyo, flashing Folgore a quick eye roll. "Don't bother, Folgore, we already went through a crappy angst. If you're trying to teach us a lesson, at least use something original."

"Oh, this'a is so'a much'a more, my boy," snickered Folgore, his mouth twisting into a sinister grin. "So'a much'a more.

Folgore then beckoned Kiyo over, pointing to the story's summary. Kiyo, upon reading it, leaped back, his mouth dropping. The summary was so horrific, so ungodly, so unbelievably unreadable that I refuse to burn your poor, weak corneas with it.

(Well actually, the truth is that the fanfiction was removed from Fanfiction dot Net due to... well, everything about it, so I can't remember the exact summary Tara gave it. But shhh, don't tell anyone I told you that. It's our little secret. Kind of like the one where I come into your room at night and-)

AHEM! Anyway...

"No, no way," Kiyo hissed, backing slowly away from the computer. "N-no! That writing... it's almost as bad as the first fanfiction Zatch and I read!"

"The troll fanfiction?" Folgore narrowed his eyes, baring down on the boy. "Well'a, some'a prefer to believe Tara is a troll..."

Tara. It seemed like such a normal name. Non-threatening even. The room, however, would soon witness the power that this relatively normal-sounding teenage girl from Dubai unleashed upon Fanfiction so many years ago.

"...Others?" Folgore chuckled, turning his head slowly towards the whole group. "They'a think she was'a completely serious. The whole way through. If'a you'a think'a the bad spelling and emo-ness is'a all the story is'a imfamous for, well you'a best think'a again. This'a isn't just'a any fanfiction...

...This is the tale of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way"

Megumi and Tia, having recognized "Ebony" as a Sue name, screamed and clung to each other in pure horror.

"No, NOOOOOO!" they shrieked, quivering violently in each other's arms. "Spare us!"

"It's'a too'a late for that," Folgore stated flatly, his expression completely blank. "I'm'a sorry, but because of Kiyo, you'a all must'afeel the wrath of Tara Gilesbie."

And with that, he began to read.

_**AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)-**_

"Doctor," squeaked Kido, peering at his partner unsurely. "What is goffik?"

"I, in all honesty my dear Kido, have no idea whatsoever," he whispered hoarsely, slowly grasping the frightened child's hand.

Zeno, once again, looked honest-to-god terrified. "For god's sake Dufort, make use of your answer talker abilities and frickin' TELL ME WHAT TO EXPECT!"

The pale young man simply shook his head. "No point. My abilities have no effect on fanfiction."

"GAH! I totally won't date you at this rate!"

"...Why would you ever want to date me?"

"What? NO! I-I didn't mean it like that! I was referring to the last fanfiction... STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

_**-2 my gf (ew not in that way)-**_

"Then don't call her your gf," exclaimed Kiyo, throwing up his hands and slapping them down roughly against his lap (Kiyo loooovvvveeed his moments of over-dramatic arm flinging). "It's so simple! If you don't want people to misinterpret what you're saying, then don't use a word that can be easily misinterpreted!"

Folgore grinned. He wasn't even past the author's note and already Kiyo was experiencing negative effects from the story. He may have not wanted to make the others suffer, but oh boy, he was going to enjoy this...

_**-raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.**_

"Hmm, for some reason I'm thinking 'Raven's' attempts were pretty much futile," snorted Sunbeam, eyeing the author's note with distaste.

"Meru meh," agreed Ponygon in a whimper, huddling close to his partner. Poor little thing.

_**U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2!**_

For reasons unknown to even me, the moment that line was read an image of a fat, unattractive gothic girl slumped over at the computer with a scrawny, sickly boy tied to her chair popped into Kiyo's mind. Due to that, he began to snicker uncontrollably, despite the current circumstances. Usually, a relatively sane person would look in the direction of the laughing person and flash them a confused or disapproving glance. However, seeing as mostly everyone in that room was half-mad by that point, it was just viewed as yet another normal occurrence and nobody took any notice or concern.

_**MCR ROX!**_

_**Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way-**_

Tia and Megumi once again screamed bloody murder at the mention of her name. The other females of the group cast them a concerned and unsure look.

"Good god... I've never been more frightened and disgusted in my life," Sherry said under her breath. They weren't even past the name yet and she already hated this girl.

_**-and I have long ebony black hair-**_

"Thank you, Madame Redundant," muttered Kiyo bitterly. "Just saying ebony would have been enough."

_**-(that's how I got my name)-**_

"No. Way."

_**-with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears-**_

"WHO CARES?" the group exclaimed in unison. I guess they just weren't into deep, useless description and use of similes like Tara was. Those prepz.

_**-and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).**_

"Oh, that's nice," murmured a still-disgruntled Kiyo. "Hardly one paragraph in, if you can even call that horrible run-on sentence a real paragraph, and we're already treated to the author's useless babbling."

(A/N: Aren't those just unbelievably annoying? There you are, trying to read a fanfiction and then the author pops up suddenly and is all like "LULZ U GOTTA HEER WUT I GUTZ TO SAY LOLOLOLOL!1111oneoneelevenone1". I mean, it's so inconsiderate! Who cares what your opinions are, we want to read the story! God... Selfish bastards. Somebody, no, EVERYBODY, needs to just go over to these peoples' houses and just beat them. With yaoi paddles. Yep, that joke hasn't gotten old to me yet, heheh... Anyway... uh... yeah! Seriously you guys, you should just do that sometime. Just do it. Well, I mean, to those who deserve it, of course... heheh... You knew what I meant though, right? Yeah, yeah, of course you did... yeah... *cough*... So, yeah, anyway, you'll be like my hero if you go do that... right now even... *cough*... So, ANYWAY, as I was saying, those selfish bastards think they can just interrupt your reading material and-Oh, sorry, excuse me a sec, someone's at the door. BRB u guise! :D... Dumdeedumdumdum, I'm coming!... O HAI THERE! Say, what is that you're hiding behind your back? It looks awfully like a yao-OH GOD!)

_**I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.**_

"So... you're telling me that you wish he was, like, your brother... because you're sexually attracted to him?" said Kiyo, the upper lip of his slightly open mouth curving upward into another grimace, this one due to pure disgust.

_**I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch,-**_

"MARY SUE! MARY SUE! GO AWAY!" Megumi and Tia were now sobbing uncontrollably. It was too much, in only a few short sentences she was already a thousand times worse than Beautifulica.

"Are you kidding me?" Li-en choked. "A vampire? I don't even like Harry Potter and even I know that that's pushing it in that universe."

_**-and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.**_

Doctor Riddles snorted. "Please, real goths don't usually shop at Hot Topic. I hate to be crude, but in all honesty that's just a place for teens who get wet over Tim Burton movies. REAL goths have no interest in an over-hyped teenie-bopper place like that. And while we're still on the topic of goth culture, My Chemical Romance and Evanescence are in no way considered true gothic bands. Groups such as Sisters of Mercy and Alien Sex Fiend are closer to what true goths would be listening to. I mean, it's so clearly obvious th..."

He trailed off, finally noticing the dumb-struck faces of the group staring directly at him.

"I... well... uh... I... I went through some very awkward stages in the past few years... a lot of things going on in my life... I had a very good reason, if you know my past... It was a way of escaping... Kind of grew a taste for it I suppose... DON'T JUDGE ME!"

_**For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.**_

"NOBODY. CARES. SHUT UP!"

It would seem as though the group also did not enjoy this shining example of costume porn. Fukking pozers.

_**I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining-**_

"...WHAT?"

_**-so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.**_

"Ooooh, so badass," muttered Wonrei sarcastically. "What will she do next? J-walk?"

_**"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….-**_

"...THE PLOT!" shouted Sunbeam dramatically, earning a few giggles.

_**-Draco Malfoy!**_

_**"What's up Draco?" I asked.**_

_**"Nothing." he said shyly.**_

_**But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.**_

"Oh god, are you kidding me?" moaned Kiyo, dropping his head. "This girl spent more time describing the way she looked than she did actually telling the story. And is the XXX thing really necessary? A simple line would have done the trick just fine."

"Get'a used to it," snorted Folgore, eyeing Kiyo with sick pleasure. "That's'a basically My Immortal for you."

_**AN: IS it good?**_

"HELL NO!"

_**PLZ tell me fangz!**_

Note: Due to the length, and the fact that I don't want to scar you all too badly, My Immortal will be severely cut up in this chapter, as well as the next. However, I'll try to keep the most memorable bits in for your viewing (dis)pleasure.

_**Chapter 2**_

_**...I woke up in my bedroom.**_

"HOLY CRAP NO WAY! UNBELIEVABLE!"

_**...drank some blood from a bottle I had.**_

Despite the reaction of disgust from most of the group, Kido stared at the computer with wide-eyed amazement.

"Wow Doctor, I didn't know people could drink blood."

Doctor Riddles laughed, rubbing Kido's head affectionately.

"Of course my dear Kido! Everybody even has their own flavor. Some people are grape flavored, others are orange, why, I taste like mixed berries myself."

Kido gasped in astonishment, while the rest of the group groaned in utter disbelief.

"Really, Doctor? Really?"

I think by this point you understand how it goes.

_**My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram-**_

"WE DON'T CARE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WE DON'T CARE!"

_**...Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)...**_

"Oh god," Wonrei moaned in agony. "There's another one?"

"Find a happy place... find a happy place..." Tia and Megumi muttered over and over as the rocked on the floor.

"You know... I'm not usually like this -unless it involves Kiyo, of course-, but I hate this Ebony girl with a passion!" stated Suzy, a surprised but determined look plastered on her face as she clenched her fists.

_**...She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and-**_

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-"

_**..."Do you like Draco?"...**_

_**..."No I so fucking don't!"...**_

"Uh-uh girl, you so fucking do!" exclaimed Kanchome, closing his eyes and snapping his fingers. "Umm-hmm, snap snap snap!"

I think by this point you understand that whenever a character says something strange or inappropriate, they get a surprised look. So typing out: 'The group suddenly turned in his direction and-' would be pretty much pointless and redundant.

"Kanchome," said Folgore shakily, pausing from reading to confront his mamodo. "I'a know I'm'a not'a the best male influence when it comes to manliness... but please'a... please'a never talk'a like that again..."

_**...Draco walked up to me.**_

_**..."Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade."...**_

_**..."Oh. My. Fucking. God!"...**_

_**"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked. **_

_**I gasped.**_

_**Chapter 3**_

_**AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ...**_

_**...I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the-**_

"Oh dear god!" Sherry moaned as the group, once again, began to protest the unneeded description. "Please Folgore, I understand this is your way of getting back at Kiyo, he does deserve it, but at least think about the rest of us. If you must continue reading this, could you at least consider skipping these ridiculous descriptions?"

Folgore hummed to himself, considering this. Skipping those parts would limit the negative affect it would have on Kiyo, but on the other hand the rest of the group did nothing wrong to him and didn't really deserve all of the torture.

"Very well," he decided, nodding reluctuntly. "but'a keep'a in mind," he turned suddenly to glare at Kiyo, who let out a small 'eep'. "I'm'a not doin' this'a for _you_."

_**...I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.**_

The girls erupted into cheers of ecstasy, clapping gleefully as if they were young school girls.

"She's done it! She's killed herself! WHOO-HOOO! DING DONG THE SUE IS DEAD! HAHA! SHE'S DEEEAAAD!"

_**I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding-**_

"GOD DAMMIT!"

_**-and I listened to some GC.**_

_**...I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.**_

"Flying car?" Wonrei looked rather confused. "Well, I know the Weasley boys enchanted one in the second book, but I don't remember anybody ever actually owning one in the wizard world."

The group looked at him surprise.

"You've actually read those books?" said Kiyo.

Wonrei shrugged. "It gets boring when we're not battling, I need something to pass the time,"

"Please, you never shut up about them," muttered Li-en, looking away from him. She was ignored.

"They're pretty good books, I liked them better than that chick novel about the sparkling vampires. This fanfiction oddly reminds me more of that than it does of Harry Potter for some reason..."

_**...On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.**_

_**..."Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.**_

_**Suddenly Draco looked sad.**_

_**..."Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.**_

_**"Really?"...**_

_**..."Really."**_

_**...The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!**_

_**Chapter 4**_

_**AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY-**_

As horrible as the story was in every single way, that had to have been the most hilarious line they had heard so far. There wasn't a dry eye in the room (from laughing, of course) after that line was read.

_**..."DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"**_

_**Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.**_

_**"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.**_

"That has to be the worst case of PMS if I've ever seen one," muttered Brago as he rolled his eyes. "I'd hate to see her reaction if the poor guy was to ever make an accidental wrong turn while driving with her one day."

_**Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness-**_

"Uhhh," Sunbeam was truly at a loss for words there for a good moment. "... how is that even poss... how is that even an appealing trai... what the hell kind of contacts is he wea-Screw it, just continue the reading. Not groovy... just... no..."

_**-and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore**_

_**And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra.**_

By this point, the partners of the younger mamodos were attempting to place their hands over the childrens' ears. It wasn't working. Besides, after all they had already been exposed to, it was pretty much pointless.

**_..."Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an org...-_**

"Kiyo?..."

"NO ZATCH, GOD NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO! I AM NOT EXPLAINING THAT TO YOU!"

**_We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…._**

**_"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"_**

"Oh... oh thank you sweet angel of mercy," Kiyo quietly prayed to the sky, grateful to be free of that awkward and unrealistic sex scene.

_**It was….Dumbledore!**_

Folgore breathed in deeply, stopping and turning to see how the group was doing. As I'm sure you can imagine, it wasn't pretty. Tia and Megumi were still in the midst of their mental breakdown, and the remaining females who still held on to a small bit of their sanity seemed to be hatching a plan to 'assasinate' Tara. Zatch Bell seemed unsure how to feel about it, while his brother stared in wide-eyed horror, not being able to take in that somebody could create something more heinous than he. The men of the group muttered among themselves angrily, unable to find anything remotely attractive about this so-called 'sexy' character. And finally, we come to Kiyo. He sat close by Folgore's feet, very still. His eyes and his mouth were wide open, his face full of horror... disgust... every negative emotion you could possibly think of was right there on his face.

"Was she serious?... Was she serious?..." he repeated over and over, looking Folgore straight in the eyes. "This... this can't be real... can't be serious... must be a joke... please say it's a joke... so many spelling errors... so much clothes and makeup... makeup... lots of makeup... goffik... what's goffik?... No... can't be real..." Kiyo inhaled, clearly trying to get ahold of himself. "Are you... are you really going to read all of this?"

Folgore grinned. That was exactly what he was hoping to hear.

"Yep, all forty-four chapters of it."

"OH GOD!"

* * *

_**I had a feeling this chapter would be long, but I honestly didn't think it would be THIS long. That's what I get for agreeing to My Immortal I suppose. Of course, Folgore and Kiyo's epic fight was longer than... I was... expecting... *ahem* Yeah... sorry about that. Well, the next chapter will be going through most of MI, heavily edited to fit it in of course, so get your brain bleach ready because the gangs' wild romp through literally the worst fanfiction ever has only just begun.**_

_**Oh, and my apologies to anyone who might have been offended by that little Twilight joke thrown in there. Although I'm not a big fan of the series, I certainly don't hate it, it just happens to be an easy target. :P**_


	31. My Immortal part 2

**A/N: Well my friends, now that it's well into 2011, I believe it's due time for the next exciting installment of ZBATFA. I'm not going to lie, this chapter took some serious thinking over. Although I did have ideas planned out, I just wasn't sure how I was going to make them all fit together. Since I don't want to give anything away, I'm going to stop this a/n here and allow you to read. I'll meet you at the bottom of the page in the end.**

* * *

"No no no NO!" exclaimed Kiyo, waving his hands frantically infront of himself while backing into a corner. "You can't be serious. You CANNOT be serious! This... this... there are no words to describe it! I... I can't even begin to explain it. I... I..." Kiyo began to weep pitifully, wrapping his arms around his head and hiding his face in his knees like a child.

Folgore was satisfied to say the very least. He had gotten the reaction out of Kiyo he craved plus more. The once tough and head-strong teenager now lay in a quivering ball of sad and terror. Oh what a brilliant (and extraordinarily handsome, this is Folgore thinking this after all) evil genius he was. God was he great!...

...However, while he was grinning arrogantly to himself, another emotion struck him, one which he was very confused about. An emotion he hadn't felt in a long while. Guilt? No... no it couldn't be... He sucked in a large breath and exhaled slowly, the feeling of both pleasure and uncertainty flowing through his veins. Perhaps there was need for some re-wording. Folgore wasn't exactly evil, not even insane really, just... unsure. And resentful. He resented Kiyo for inviting him over to this torture chamber, he resented Fanfiction dot Net, he resented the twisted fact that there was fanfiction about their life (how was this even possible? And why was nobody really questioning that?), and he especially resented the fact that Kiyo tried to push the blame on him. He wanted somebody to pay, and Kiyo was an easy target, just as Folgore himself had been to Kiyo previously. He turned his gaze towards the window, the setting sun transforming the sky into a marvelous canvas of pinks and oranges. Oh how he wished to escape this hell, to frolic innocently out in the divine outdoors like he never had before, but as Kiyo had asserted before, it was as if another entity was controlling them. An author of sorts, you could say. Everytime they finished one story, they just went on to another one, and another one, and another one...

"Right," Folgore muttered gently, turning his attention back to the monitor. "Are we all'a ready?"

"NO!"

"Good! Here we go."

_**Chapter 5.**_

_**AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr!**_

"How exactly do you tell the difference between a goth and a poser anyway?"

It took Doctor Riddles a good few seconds to realize all attention had been turned to him. He sputtered, and began to sweat profusely.

"Well... I..." he tugged at his collar anxiously, clearly not wanting to have to reference that dark time in his past again. "Uh... that... that was awhile back, ya know. Heck, I might have been considered a poser myself... well, seeing as most goths aren't well past middle-age, and I never actually went out much anyway... and... uh..."

"But you would be able to tell a poser from a goth, correct?" questioned Wonrei, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Mmm... well..." the Doctor squirmed a bit. "I... well... uh... *sigh*... yes..."

"Then do tell."

He sighed once again, defeated. "Very well. For starters, a lot of true goths don't usually even label themselves as goths. They're also not depressing and suicidal, contrary to what I had used to believe. They certainly don't worship the Devil and are in no way evil. They have their own style and don't all dress the same. And like I mentioned earlier, they don't listen to stuff like Evanescence or My Chemical Romance, and if they do they at least don't consider them solely goth bands. Also, Hot Topic is not their main hangout. Sure, they might stop by there to get the odd piece of clothing, but they certainly don't limit themselves to just that store. They don't care whether a store is considered "goth" or not, Hot Topic is no more special to them then, say, Wal-Mart."

"Sooo, basically, a true goth is everything this author/character is not?"

"Precisely."

_**Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!**_

_"Hey, maybe this story will be over sooner then I thought," _thought Kiyo optimistically, trying to ignore the fact that Folgore had previously stated there were a whopping 44 chapters.

_**Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.**_

_**"You ludacris-**_

"Great rapper, and not a bad actor either," chuckled the Doctor uncertainly, hoping to relieve some tension in the room. Much to his chagrin, seeing as the group had already been rather disgusted by his other... age inappropriate activities, this only disturbed them even more. Aside from Kido, that is, who laughed tensely out of pity. And you know it's bad when Kido starts pitying you.

_**-fools!" he shouted.**_

_**I started to cry tears of blood-**_

"Jesus Christ, if I ever see tears of blood running down my face I'm running to the nearest hospital screaming," exclaimed Sunbeam, cringing in revulsion. How the hell could anyone find that remotely sexy?

_**-down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.**_

"How did they even know what was going on?" asked Wonrei, cocking an eyebrow. "I mean, yes, they are witches, but as far as I know not psychic. Do they have special wizard camaras or owls set up around the forest so they can watch teenagers doing it? What a bunch of sick freaks!"

_**"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.**_

"Alright, so they didn't know what was going on. So why are they standing around looking angry?"

"I thought that's what all teachers did," replied Suzy innocently. "Well, at least that's what they do whenever I come to class..."

"Suzy."

"Yes Kiyo?"

"Shut up."

"Yes Kiyo."

_**"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.**_

"What the hell is a mediocre dunce? Someone who fails even at being a dunce? How is that even possible? Is it even an insult? It seems more like a contradiction. I'm so confused..." whimpered Kiyo before bursting out into another set of hysterical tears.

_**"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.**_

_**And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"**_

"'BECAUSE I WUUUUUUUUUUV HER!'" mocked Brago in a high-pitched whine, crouching further into his time-out corner where Sherry seemed to have forgotten him. "What a man... To think I could be spending this time winning battles and making myself king, BUT NOOOOOOOO, we had to go look at fanfiction... I cannot believe I'm saying this but... somebody please just burn my book already..."

_**Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."**_

"You mean all my school problems can be solved by me screaming like a spoiled baby? Why didn't someone tell me that sooner?" uttered Kiyo, choking back sobs as he furiously swiped away the tears with the back of his sleeve.

_**..."Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.**_

_**"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut-**_

"SKIP!"

_**...Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.**_

_**Chapter 6. **_

_**AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **_

"Okay really, people actually gave her good reviews?" Considering the mess she had been earlier, Megumi was surprisingly one of the more collected and coherent of the group, actually able to calmly make that comment. "If so, I have honestly lost all hope in humanity. I really have."

_**The next day I woke up in my coffin.**_

_**...In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.**_

"As opposed to, you know, black blood... although that would be interesting..." noted Zeno as a sick grin spread across his face.

_**Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.**_

"That'd probably just turn her on," snorted Brago, smirking at his little joke.

_**"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore... **_

_**...there was no scar on his forhead anymore.**_

"Well gosh, way to be discreet," groaned Wonrei, rolling his eyes. "I can't possibly figure out who that character might be. And how would she know this stuff anyway if she doesn't even know him?"

_**...He had a sexy English accent.**_

"Oh, maybe it's because, I dunno, THEY'RE IN THE FRICKING UNITED KINGDOM!" exclaimed Wonrei, slamming his hands down on the floor. Seeing as, at least for the last little while, he had been reasonably neutral throughout their detestable fanfiction journey, his sudden outburst of emotion was quite unnerving to say the least. Even Brago and Zeno couldn't help but stare upon him in mild fear.

"Wonrei, sweety," whispered Li-en gently, scooching behind him and slowly wrapping her arms around his chest affectionately. "Perhaps it's best if you cut down on the Harry Potter novels."

_**...He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.**_

"Kiyo?..."

"NO ZATCH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO NO NO! THERE IS NO WAY I AM EXPLAINING THAT! EVEN IF I DID, THIS GIRL IS SO SICK AND TWISTED THAT THERE IS NO WAY I COULD POSSIBLY EXPLAIN WHY SHE IS COMPARING HOW SHE'S FEELING TO... GAH!"

_**"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.**_

_**"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.**_

_**"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.**_

_**"Why?" I exclaimed.**_

_**"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.**_

"Well that's not healt-Aw screw it! I imagine it's only going to get more twisted from here on, might as well not point out the petty things," Sunbeam gave a dismissive wave of his hand, grimacing.

_**"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.**_

_**"Really?" he whimpered.**_

_**"Yeah." I roared.**_

"Weally?" lisped Zatch in a childish squeak, placing his finger against his lip and widening his eyes to crank the cuteness level up to eleven.

"YEAH!" screamed Tia at the top of her lungs, startling the rest of the group. As much as the mamodos hated it, they still managed to get a good laugh out of mocking the horrendous piece of shit. Admit it, some of the lines in there are just unintentionally classic.

_**We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.**_

_**Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life**_

_**AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws.**_

"God reviews, the best kind of reviews you know," Doctor Riddles stated, grinning weakly. No one laughed, not even Kido this time. The stress of everything had pretty much milked him of any good or clever humor.

_**n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **_

"Tin god vons?" uttered Kiyo, facepalming. "I... have no comment for that..."

_**STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok-**_

"No, she's a _Mary_ Sue. Totally different," murmured Megumi, twiddling a lock of hair boredly.

_**-she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!**_

"Yes, we got it," groaned Sunbeam, pressing his fingers against his temple. "She's soooooooo depressed and screwed up and 'goffik'. Please stop nailing that into our heads, we can figure it out just fine."

_**Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).**_

"Again, no. _MARY_ Sue. Mary Sue."

_**I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.**_

"No, he probably pities him," sighed the Doctor, shaking his head in sympathy. "That poor, possibly mentally ill man, he probably has no idea what he's getting himself into."

_**...We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.**_

"Passively... so they're both submitting to each other... what?" Due to his intelligence, Kiyo viewed words that children and even some adults wouldn't understand as simple first grade vocabulary. It was natural for him to be a teenie weenie bit irritated when a good half of the group gawked at him in confusion, forcing him to explain. He wasn't a walking dictionary, sheesh!

_**...when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!**_

_**I was so angry.**_

"Ah, and that's'a why you'a never get a tattoo of a significant other," said Folgore as he turned to the group, clicking his tongue in disapproval. "Such a silly, silly mistake to'a make. Thank'a god that'a me, Parco Folgore, is'a smart enough to'a never make'a such a stupid choice."

"You have one, don't you?" grunted Sunbeam.

"Guh... SHUT'A UP!"

_**"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.**_

_**"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.**_

_**"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**_

"And we can only hope he transmitted it to her," sighed Megumi, smiling dreamily.

_**I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.**_

"...Ew..." was the only reaction the group was able to create.

**_I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people._**

**_"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled._**

"Why is 'motherfucker' the insult and swear of choice?" piped up Zeno, surprising the group. "Put some creativity into it, geez! In fact, this is like kid stuff compared to what we have in the Mamado world. Oh ho, now, words like-"

Dufort was thankfully able to tackle and throw his hands over the child's mouth before he could do anymore harm.

"I've heard them," spoke Dufort slowly and silently, a traumatized look plastered across his usually blank face. "Virgin ears... should not be exposed to such horrors... that would be too cruel... even for us..."

**Chapter 8.**

_**AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!**_

"I... I have nothing to say to that," sighed Kiyo for the umteenth time, completely and utterly emotionally spent. "Flassing. How... how does someone possibly make that kind of mistake? S is no where near M on the keyboard. How? Nobody," he cast a quick glance at Suzy. "Nobody is that stupid. Nobody."

_**Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.**_

**_...My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly._**

"How the hell did she know what was going on?" said Sunbeam, frowning in puzzlement.

"She likes to watch," joked Zeno, cracking another one of his infamous creepy grins.

"Okay seriously kid, how do you even know about this kind of stuff?"

**_She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses-_**

"YAWN!"

_**...Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.**_

"Dead parents? Check! Dark and tragic past? Check! Vampires? Check! Depression and gothic attire? Check and check! DING DING DING! Congratulations, you have created the perfect My Immortal character!" announced Doctor Riddles like an overly-enthusiastic game show host, waving his hands in the air in faux-excitement.

**_...her real last name is Smith-..._**

"How creative," said Sherry sarcastically, chuckling slightly at the stupidity and blandness. "Hope she didn't hurt herself thinking that name up."

_**...(Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )**_

"Because, you know, Slytherin doesn't focus on traits such as cunning and ambition, no no no... They're all about the 'goffs' and Satanism and depression and such now... They wouldn't be cool then," snarked Wonrei, griding his teeth as he began to pace anxiously.

"Honestly Wonrei," Li-en sighed, flashing him a tired glare. "We don't all read Harry Potter. Would you please stop referencing facts from the book that we obviously wouldn't know about."

**_"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned-_**

"Okay really, can teachers actually get away with verbally abusing their students like that?" continued to rant Wonrei, speeding up his pace . "Um, don't answer that Suzy," he added quickly as she began to open her mouth. "And could somebody tell Draco to put some bloody pants on? Why is nobody noticing this? God dammit, there must be some sort of law against that..."

_**..."Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.**_

"Um, how can he cheat on you when you weren't even dating him?" said Megumi. "I thought she was dating Draco, not HarVampire. Or was she?..."

"Don't think too hard about it," sighed Kiyo, shaking his head and giggling warily. "Trust me, it's bad for your health."

_**Everyone gasped.**_

"I love how nobody seems to care about the completely naked boy standing in the doorway, but all gasp when they hear about somebody cheating," chuckled Sunbeam, shifting his position slightly but careful not to disturb his resting mamodo (poor little Ponygon, found it easier to just sleep through everything rather then expose himself to anymore of it). "I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that, in this universe, everyone is so promiscuous that the sight of a naked human in an unusual environment is nothing new or exciting."

_**I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart.**_

"Oh, hello perspective change," said Kiyo, raising his eyebrows. "Thanks for letting us know you would be dropping by."

_**..."But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.**_

_**"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.**_

"Aaaannnddd, we're back to Ebony," groaned Kiyo in frustration, shoving his face back between his knees.

_**I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.**_

"Oi, smartass," exclaimed Brago, chucking a text book at the curled-up ball that was Kiyo. "What does virility mean anyway?

"Eh?" he grunted, lifting his head from his knees in surprise as the book clattered inches away from his feet. His eyes narrowed once it registered what was being asked of him. Again. Ironically, the book thrown at him was a dictionary. Thankfully he didn't bother to look at the cover, sending Kiyo into unstoppable rage isn't exactly something you want to do too often. "...It refers to masculine characteristics."

"So, she lost her manliness to him? That... that is so wrong on so many levels..."

"Well, she did talk about getting a boner earlier..." remarked Megumi, gremacing slightly as a mental image slowly appeared in her head.

_**Chapter 9.**_

_**AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!**_

"Then why... are you... writing this...?" snarled Wonrei through gritted teeth, saliva spewing.

_**...I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me.**_

"HE'S BEEN WITH YOU FOR, LIKE, ONE DAY! How would he manage to cheat on you, then get a tattoo of said lover in that short a time period?" Wonrei was livid, almost literally putting a hole in Kiyo's floor with his pacing. Not only was this raping one of his favorite series, the logic of the character also made absolutely no sense in any way.

_**...Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose-**_

"Thank you Madame Redundant," said the group in dull unison.

_**-(basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!**_

"No, really?" grunted Kiyo sarcastically. "I would have never have guessed aftered you said 'like Voldemort in the movie'."

_**..."Crookshanks!" I shouted at him.**_

"That's not a spell! That's the cat! That's the goddamn cat!" Wonrei was now furiously bounding up and down, jabbing his finger at the computer monitor and crying out hysterically.

**_..."Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"_**

Wonrei sputtered in repulsion. "When the hell did Voldemort start speaking in Ye Olde English? NEVER!"

**_I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?_**

"NO! FREAKING! SHIT!" screamed Wonrei, slamming his hands down on the computer desk and startling Folgore. "You stupid, arrogant bitch! How long did that take you to figure that out?"

_**"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.**_

_**Voldemort gave me a gun.**_

"Because in a world with powerful magic, a gun is always the first choice," said Sunbeam snarkily. Despite not knowing the series himself, even he could figure out that it had drastically strayed from the original material.

_**..."Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"**_

_**"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.**_

_**Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.**_

"Strangely enough, that's the same look the author gets from her teachers whenever she hands in her homework," said Kiyo. "Shut up Suzy," he added the moment she began to open her mouth.

_**"I hath telekinesis."**_

"Wonderful, he can move things with his mind. That still doesn't answer her question," said Kiyo apathetically.

_**..."And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.**_

_**I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.**_

_**"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"**_

"Well," muttered Sherry, clearing her throat slightly as if to draw attention to herself. "For someone who was just told her boyfriend may be murdered if she does not kill another student, she seems rather cheerful suddenly. Perhaps this is a way of coping with a stressful situation... Oh what am I saying? The author just sucks."

_**..."Are you okay?" I asked.**_

_**"No." he answered.**_

_**"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.**_

_**"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.**_

"D'aww dey made up. How CWWWUUUUTTTEEE! Everything's happy and a-ok now!" Kiyo squealed in a mocking childish voice, clasping his hands together and pursing his lips. "Well, ya know, except for that Voldemort guy and Vampire or Draco's impending death, but, ya know, we'll worry about that later. Enoby and Draco need to have teh hawt sexy times now."

_**Chapter 10**_

_**AN: stup it u-**_

"Unreadable unimportant crap, move along!" yelled the group unanimously.

_**...I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.**_

"Yes, if there was a psychopathic wizard demon threatening to kill my boyfriend if I did not commit a murder myself, I'd go practice with my band," Sherry laughed slightly, shaking her head. "Glad she's got her priorities straight."

_**...The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire,-**_

"Soooo, Vampire was in your band, but yet you didn't know who he was just a day ago? Wow, great band leader there," muttered Kiyo, glancing up slightly.

_**-Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid.**_

"Oh god, oh no..." was all Wonrei was able to moan before hiding his face in his palms to sob.

_**Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too-**_

"WHAT?" roared Wonrei, jerking his head up suddenly. "WHEN? WHEN? NEVER! NEVER! DRACO WAS NEVER A VAMPIRE! NEEEEEVEEERRR! WHY WAS THIS NOT MENTIONED UNTIL NOW? WHY?"

"Oh for heaven's sake," moaned Li-en, looking away from him in mortification. "Why oh why couldn't Harry Potter have been one those books the Chinese government banned? I shall never buy him anything related to Harry Potter ever again!"

_**-and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that)-**_

"I think you just did," observed Megumi.

_**-or a steak)-**_

"A nice, juicy, rare... red... dripping... flavorful... chewy... mmmm..." Zatch's mouth began to salivate profusely.

_**...I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**_

"Yep... right..." said the group dryly.

_**We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.**_

_**"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.**_

_**"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily.**_

"Jeez, she just asked you an honest question," said Sunbeam, raising his hands in defense. "No need to go all psycho-bitch on her."

_**And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.**_  
_**Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.**_

"And what exactly was he doing standing behind a wall all this-Oh forget it," Kiyo grunted, waving his hand as if to dismiss the topic.

_**"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)**_

"Yes! Yes it is!" yelled Wonrei.

_**I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.**_

_**We practiced for one more hour.**_

"What a caring individual," snorted Sherry sarcastically, becoming genuinely disgusted with the character's lack of empathy. "I suppose I should be used to it now, but her complete lack of giving two craps despite saying she does is becoming old and tired very fast."

_**Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.**_

_**"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y)**_

"Yeah, whatever, just get on with the story you stupid goth slut whore," said Kiyo boredly.

_**"Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **_

"YOU JUST SAID HE WAS A VAMPIRE AND COULDN'T DIE... Gah... ah... uh... WAAAGGGH!" Wonrei screamed to the Heavens, ripping huge chunks of hair from his scalp in the process. That was the last straw for Li-en.

"That's it!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and pulling him roughly towards the door, him sobbing hysterically the whole way. "Wonrei, you need to seriously get ahold of yourself, this is ridiculous. We've got to get out of here."

"You're... you're leaving?" whispered Kiyo with a tone of disappointment that surprised even himself. They had just been there so long that the group just wouldn't feel right without them. Li-en paused, loosening her grip on Wonrei's arm but still facing the door. A pang of guilt hit her, and she was unable to continue her journey to the opening she so desired to escape out of. They had already been through so much together, read so much, learned so much, suffered so much, and, all together, had kept each other sane. Well alright, perhaps not the latter one, but they were there for each other, that's undeniable. And to just give up on this strong-willed group like that...

"No," she finally sighed, dropping her eyes to the floor, defeated. "We just... needed to step out for a bit... leaving you wouldn't be fair. Couldn't do that. We care too much. Besides," she turned her head, grinning weakly. "Someone's got to keep you sane all."

Poor Li-en and Wonrei, so close yet so far away from the freedom each and everyone of them longed for ever so much. Perhaps another day...

...Wait, _DAY?_

* * *

_**I feel I should apologize for two things. One, for not updating in awhile, although I imagine you're used to it by this point and I'd rather not get into why it's taken so long. Two, for not completing their My Immortal reading within two chapters. I wanted to condense it into two chapters, I really did, but realized that even when shortened it would still be too long. I didn't want to make this chapter much more than 7,000 words, but that would be impossible if I didn't break it up even more. However, I can promise you that the third (and thankfully last) part will be up extremely soon, within the next few days actually. Unfortunately, it's still unlikely that, even within three chapters, that the characters will be able to do a complete reading of My Immortal.**_

_**On a side note, today marks exactly four years since I started this fanfic. Dear god, four years... I need to update more...**_


	32. My Immortal part 3

**A/N: Here it is, like I promised, the last part of the MI reading. Thank god.**

* * *

**_Chapter 11_**

**_AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus!_**

"I'm sure it does," muttered Kiyo sarcastically.

_**..."NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself.**_

"Huh..." grunted Sherry in surprise. "I was half expecting her to practice with her band for another half hour.

**_...I grabbed a steak-_**

"Kiyo?..."

"No Zatch, I am not going to go out and buy you a raw steak."

"Oh..."

**_-and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide._**

"Come on, don't be a wimp. Just do it! Do it!" urged Megumi, clenching her fists in anticipation.

_**...I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly.**_

"Sandly? Well that sounds itchy," chuckled Doctor Riddles.

_**...Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!**_

The group began muttering among themselves, both confused and deeply disturbed.

"Before anyone asks him," said Sherry, walking over and putting a hand on the quivering fourteen-year-old boy's shoulder. "Masticating means chewing. It certainly doesn't mean what she seems to thinks it means."

_**"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!"**_

"Huh... after all the stuff she's done she's really going to try to play the innocent little girl card?" said Sunbeam, frowning. He was not buying it. "Granted, spying on a teenager bathing is extremely creepy and something should definitely done about them, but after we've gotten to know this character and her... favorite activities thoroughly, it's kind of hard to view her as an innocent, underaged victim."

_**...Suddenly Vampire ran in.**_

_**"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.**_

"Well... my, my... your womb?" said Sunbeam, raising an eyebrow and smirking in both amusement and interest. This certainly made up for the previous part. "Is there something you'd like to tell us 'Vampire'?"

_**I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times-**_

"She must be an awful shot. Good, it'll make killing her a lot easier," noted Megumi as an evil grin crawled across her face.

_**...Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in.**_

_**...**__**Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.**_

_**"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"**_

"No he's not!" exclaimed Wonrei. "He's the grounds and game keeper for the first bit and later he's the Care of Magical Creatures teacher! He was expelled from Ho-"

"Shut. Up. Wonrei," grumbled Li-en grumpily, scowling and sitting with her arms crossed like an upset child. "We don't care. Nobody. Frickin'. Cares."

_**"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"**_

_**"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."**_

_**"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.**_

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" exclaimed Kiyo, throwing up his hands in despair. "I'M SO CONFUSED! I SHOULDN'T BE CONFUSED! I'M THE SMART ONE! I AM! I AM! OH GOD..."

_**..."Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.**_

_**..."BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.**_

"Oh... god..." moaned Dr. Riddles, placing his face into his palm. Despite being elderly, he knew enough about American music and the thought of a "gothic" cover of any 50 Cent song was... beyond disturbing.

_**"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.**_

"No it doesn't," grunted Dr. Riddles, giving a repulsed snort.

_**"Because I LOVE HER!"**_

It couldn't be helped, there was no way of stopping it. Despite the fact that he was quite aware that nobody else would understand, Wonrei let loose the most powerful, side-splitting laughter ever to be heard in Kiyo's room. "Hagrid..." he choked, clutching his chest as never-ending tears rolled down his face. "Hagrid... in love... with her... OH GOD! THIS IS RICH!"

_**Chapter 12**_

_**AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo-**_

"No he's not, stop playing that card. The age of consent in the UK is 16 anyway," said Sunbeam dully, picking dirt out of his finger nails. He found that much more interesting than listening to anymore 'goffik' whining. "Besides, in your story at least, he's apparently a Hogwarts student so would that not make him close in age with her?"

_**I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.**_

"I don't remember this part. In fact, I can safely say this never happened within the fanfiction," noted Sherry as she looked about the group in hopes they'd clue her in on something she may have missed. "Shame, this one little part sounds much more interesting than this whole fanfiction itself."

_**"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**_

"Contradiction... contradiction... contradiction..." muttered Kiyo over and over again, rocking back and forth.

_**I stopped. "How did u know?"**_

"Know what?" said the group, once again, unanimously. Ah, their unison is so beautiful.

_**"...my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!"**_

"That... is so creepy..." said Wonrei cringing away from the computer. "And I thought he was dead."

_**Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles**_

"Ooooh, I like mangoes!" squealed Suzy, clapping her hands gleefully. "Their smooth skin is PERFECT for drawing on but it rubs off so easily. I would definitely use mangoes more if it wasn't for-"

"Why exactly is 'Hahrid' getting sent off?" Kiyo said, quickly cutting Suzy off. He really didn't care all that much, he just didn't want to listen to Suzy's rambling for too much longer. "He didn't actually do anything to her. The worst that should happen to should be him getting fired... or is it expelled?... Whatever..."

_**...Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked.**_

"Okay, really?" Sunbeam slowly placed his face back into his hands. "Constipated? CONSTIPATED? This can't be serious, I will not belive it."

_**...Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.**_

Okay, if you're so worried about 'Hargrid' to the point where sending him to a prison... rehabilitation center... hospital... THING is your best option, why the HELL would you make it so easy for him to come and visit the supposed victim?" Sunbeam pulled his head out of his hands and glared at the computer as if it were the author herself.

_**"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.**_

_**"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you."**_

"You just said a few chapters ago he was in your goth band!" exclaimed Wonrei throwing his hands forward. "I hate what you have done with the original Harry Potter canon, but for the love of god can't you at least follow what you yourself have established!"

_**"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."**_

_**"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.**_

"What, did you expect him to dye them in his blood?" snorted Sherry. "How about a 'thank you' once in awhile you spoiled little turd!"

_**"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." **_

"She's kind of right there," said Kiyo reluctantly. "It was Vampire who came in first."

_**"You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.**_

Folgore made sure to pronounce it 'masTAHbated' so the group would know that yes, she did indeed misspell it.

_**He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .**_

_**"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.**_

_**"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio-**_

"That's not a spell either!" whined Wonrei.

_**-(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)-**_

"... I hate you so much..." snarled Wonrei through gritted teeth.

_**...And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black.**_

"Thank you Madame Redundant."

_**..."OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"**_

_**..."U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"**_

_**"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled.**_

"How rude!" gasped Sherry, turning her nose up and away from the computer as if she had been deeply offended. "I don't believe he was even talking to you."

_**...Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with-**_

"SKIP! SKIP! SKIP! FREAKIN' SKIP!"

_**..."You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly.**_

"No, no just no..." although the words came from Kiyo, the Japanese people in the the group were all quivering with anger, deeply offended. "Don't you DARE bastardize our language you slut! I don't want to hear those words come out of your filthy mouth ever again!"

"Say, why aren't we speaking Japanese anyway?" asked Zatch, finally realizing that, for some reason unknown, none of the group were speaking their native languages and there was no language barrior at any point.

"English dub," replied Kiyo flatly.

"Ah, I see. And we just broke the forth wall, didn't we?"

"Yes. Yes we did."

"Uh huh... and we'll never speak of this again, correct?"

"No. No we will not."

333

_ZBATFA HQ... Where the hell is she getting the funding for this anyway?_

The author, Cutelilteen, quietly sits at her desk while sipping at a cup of coffee. Her eyes are closed and she appears to be savoring the flavor and scent, a small grin plastered across her face. Her sidekick and bestest best friend, Muttsy the stuffed dog, lays comfortably on her desk.

"Mmm, now that's some fine Kopi Luwak. Nothing makes me feel more important than paying $80.00 for coffee made from an animal's poop. Oh hello," she gracefully sets the coffee down and faces the imaginary camara, as if she just noticed it. "Didn't hear you come in. It is I, your beloved Lord and Master, Cutelilteen. Well, actually..." she pauses, picking up the 'Cutelilteen' nameplate and examining it before chucking it aside. "...I've decided that I'll be changing my user name to something a bit more... mature I suppose. In fact, the next time you see me I will be going by a completely different and sexy name. For now, though, you may call me... Lord."

"No one is going to call you that!" yells a disgruntled employee offscreen. He is ignored. She continues.

"Anyway, since the forth wall has been broken for a short while, I felt this would be a good moment to interrupt. As I mentioned earlier, I will be condensing much of My Immortal to fit as much as I can into the story. However, from this point on, I will be condensing it even more, so some bits may not make much sense... Not that My Immortal made any sense in the first place," she chuckles slightly at her joke, putting her arms behind her neck and leaning back in her chair. "So I hope you all don't mind this... well, not that I really care what you think though. After all, this is my beautiful masterpiece and I shall do whatever I wish with it. I suppose you could say I'm a god of sorts, as I have all the power of th-"

"OH THAT IS IT!" a powerful yell echos through the building, and a pair of feet come stomping at her. Before she can even look up, she is tackled, and both her and her chair to go tumbling to the floor. She groans, holding her aching head and slowly opening her eyes to see Employee #555 looming over her, huffing angrily.

"Can... can I help you?" she squeaks, forcing a nervous grin.

"You..." he grunts deeply, bending down slowly to face her. "You... You ignorant, idiotic, air-headed, dimwitted, cowardly, mentally unstable, immature, conceited, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical, lazy, procrastinative, pretentious ADULT CHILD!" he says the last two lines with an extra bit of phlegm, sending a gob into her eye. "You honestly believe it, don't you? You HONESTLY believe you are some sort of idol. That's not even a question, I'm stating that, because I know that. Good... GOD! When I first came here, I thought you were maybe a bit eccentric, but now? NOW? I can't stand it! I can't stand it anymore! I have never met a person more unlikable, more PATHETICALLY unbearable than you! And you do realize none of this is real, right?" he extended his arms as if to present the whole building and workers. "This is all in your head! No fanfiction-I repeat-NO FANFICTION requires a titanium building, 666 employees, and has legions of fanboys and girls wielding Yaoi paddles!"

"But if this is a fantasy then why are you being so mean to m-"

"BECAUSE YOU ARE THAT BAD!" he roars, swinging his arm and knocking Muttsy off the table much to Cutelilteen/whatever she wants to be called now's horror. "You are so unlikable, so unbearable that even your FRIGGIN' FANTASIES can't stand you! Your ego takes up half this fantasy building, of course your fantasy employees aren't going to like you! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, takes their fanfiction as seriously as you do! Just read it! I mean, really read it through. Would you honestly consider this poorly thrown-together cliched mess of a fanfiction some great work of art? You do realize that a good half, if not more, of this fanfiction isn't even all that well put together? Horrible structure, surprised it took you this long to even realize it. Only in the past year or so have you actually improved some. Had you really considered this something of a work of literature you would have fixed EVERYTHING up, even the older chapters. And don't give me that 'this fic is four years old and I was young and inexperinced' bull! If you really cared, you would have fixed it, simple as that. This is fanfiction, not literature! And you are not a well-known successful author. Yet, you treat both this fanfiction ANNNND yourself as if you are deserving of friggin' WORSHIP! Also, it's pretty obvious you don't care about your fans because you RARELY UPDATE! RARELY! You're so lazy that typing a few words on a computer is too exhausting and time-consuming for you! And don't you dare give me that 'I hate a lot going on in my life' crap! Nobody cares!"

"Well actually-"

"SHUT UP BITCH!" he roars, causing her to whimper and sink into her chair even more. "And another thing!..."

_Um... we'll come back to this... never..._

333

_**...Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures.**_

"Well, that sounds like an interesting class. When I was studying at a school of magic, I made sure to take the class on animal grooming," remarked Sherry before bursting out laughing.

_**...He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.**_

"Oh now this is just getting ridiculous," groaned Sunbeam, turning away. "Who is this person? Is he or she dead or alive? Where are the teachers? Are they just letting 'Vampire' potentially kill this young person? Are these really our protagonists?"

_**"Hi." he said in a depressed way.**_

"No, really, I'm much more interested in the potentially dead guy he's sucking blood out of."

_**...Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.**_

"Well, she got over Draco fast," remarked Kiyo, grimacing and scooting away. He begged to all things holy that there wouldn't be another poorly executed sex scene.

"Like I said, she's a very caring individual," replied Sherry sarcastically. "And so not a slut."

_**"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle-**_

"Oh sure, now the useless teacher gets involved," scoffed Sunbeam, rolling his eyes. "Murder is fine, but sex is a no-no."

_**..."Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!"**_

"She seemed willing enough to me," said Kiyo, peering around his room at the females. Girls were so confusing.

"Little skank is trying to play the victim card," replied Sherry is disgust. "What a disgusting accuse for a human... vampire... witch... thing! I refuse to accept her as our protagonist!"

_**...Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**_

**_...my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"_**

"Did we not already go through this?" exclaimed Kiyo. "She can not possibly be this stupid and lazy!"

"Well... I guess we all know why she has dementia in her name now," muttered Sunbeam to himself, smirking.

_**...HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I**_

"Why you couldn't have asked her in person is beyond me," sighed Doctor Riddles, shaking his head. "I miss the good old days when people actually went to meet people face-to-face to talk. But today? Today you don't have to because now there's texting, msn, Facebook, author's notes..."

_**Chapter 13.**_

**_..."Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled._**

**_..."What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?"_**

Wonrei let out an agonized moan, slamming his fists repeatedly into the floor.

"Why him? Why'd you have to butcher his character so badly? Why? He... I liked him... But now..."

_**..."I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." **_

Wonrei went off to a corner to weep silently to himself.

_**...Vampire started crying. "My Draco!"-**_

_**...Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.**_

_**...He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!**_

"Well that was ridiculously easy," said Kiyo flatly, blinking as if he had seen the most unbelievable thing there ever was and couldn't properly process it at the moment. "I'd like to ask why they didn't do that in the first place, but if I do, I'll just go off into another hysterical rant and I'm pretty sure I lose IQ points when that happens. Besides," he paused to look at Folgore, who was peering at him from the corners of his eyes and smirking. "I don't want to give _him _anymore satisfation."

"Oh trust'a me'a boy, you've'a given me'a plenty of satisfation," Folgore paused, debating mentally whether or not that last part sounded wrong. "I'a think'a I've'a sucked'a you'a dry," he stopped again, frowning. He really had to think over what he was going to say before he actually said it.

"Oh, well, in that case... Why not just stop reading now?"

"Uh... no'a."

"OH GOD DAMN YOU!"

_**...we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **__**It was….. Voldemort!**_

"Who is apparently Muslim too," muttered Sunbeam, shrugging. "I dunno... I can't figure out if she just can't spell or if she's attempting-albeit poorly-to make up words."

_**Chapter 14.**_

_**AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.**_

"And you just HAD to go and survive, didn't you?" exclaimed Megumi, her hands shaking with anger and frustration. "God! The world is so unfair!"

_**...WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.**_

"Excretion? Oh come on!" exclaimed Sunbeam, putting up his hands as if to block away the monitor. "No way. This is not real. It can't be."

_**...Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him.**_

"Who the hell is Snaketail? Peter Pettigrew is called Wormtail! WORMTAIL! Is that so hard? And she dare call herself a Harry Potter fan! AND I THOUGHT YOU KILLED OFF DRACO!" Wonrei was off on another rant again. Li-en sighed, she gave up.

_**...suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.**_

_**...(in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)**_

**_..."Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail._**

"Ew, ew, eeewww," squeaked Wonrei as he cringed in disgust. "I don't care if she aged him down, all I can see in my mind is the character portrayed in canon."

_**...I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.**_

"That's one way to get rid of your problems I suppose," said Megumi, genuinely pondering that option.

_**..."Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. **_

"...What." was the group's only response. It wasn't asked as a question, it wasn't exclaimed, it was just a flat 'what'.

_**So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room.**_

_**..."What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.**_

"Well, he gets over torture and possible sexual assault rather quickly doesn't he?" noted Sunbeam.

_**He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)-**_

"No... just no," sighed Doctor Riddles, turning away in disgust. "I am reknowned for my horrible jokes and puns and even I find that insulting."

_**..."Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here...-"**_

"Oh yes, to be beautiful and perfect is SUCH a CURSE," spat Megumi, glaring dagers at the computer. "I feel sooooo sorry for you! I totally wouldn't want to be you."

"Oh come off it," said Kiyo, casting her a tired look. "You're a famous pop star, don't act like you have any problems getting whatever and whoever you want."

**_..."Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!"_**

"Oh bullshit!" snorted Megumi, pouting angrily.

_**Chapter 15.**_

_**AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! **_

"In that case, everybody start typing!" exclaimed Megumi, rubbing her hands together eagerly.

_**..."Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"**_

_**..."Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!"**_

"Oh you rude, spoiled, immature little bitch!" spat Sherry, having to keep herself from standing up and slapping the imaginary girl. "Why exactly is she suddenly angry at him? Learn to deal with your own problems and stop acting as if everybody else is somehow at fault!"

_**...I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work.**_

"She's in ADVANCED Biology?"

_**I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.**_

"Oh, that's not biology, she just made a stupid mistake. Thank god," gasped Kiyo, catching his breath in relief. "For a moment there I thought I was supposed to believe she was at my level of intelligence."

_**Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!**_

"... HOW?" exclaimed Wonrei, sinking into the floor.

_**"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly.**_

**_...he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class!_**

**_...we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story._**

"Then why did you watch the movie if you dislike this 'prep' culture so much?" muttered Sunbeam as he looked down at his hands.

**_...I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then._**

"Why are there muggles in Hogsmede? Why why why?" complained Wonrei. "They should not be there. It makes not sense! Non-magical people should not be allowed there. READ THE BOOKS! It clearly says in book-"

"Nerd..." muttered Li-en bitterly.

_**Chapter 16.**_

_**AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis!**_

"Ah great," mumbled Sunbeam in annoyance. "Now the little bitch is having a fight with the other little bitch."

_**BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!**_

"Oh god..." sobbed Kiyo, hiding his face in his knees once again.

**_We ran happily to Hogsmede._**

**_...Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother._**

"Well... thank you... didn't need to know that..." said Sunbeam, blinking and turning away.

"Kiyo, she's used that word a couple times already. Could you please tell me what it-"

"SHUT UP ZATCH!"

_**...Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!**_

"My heroes!" cried Megumi joyfully. "This will be over with soon after all!"

_**..."Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time?..."**_

"...What?" said the group.

**_..."What cause we…you know…"_**

_**..."Yeah cause we you know!" **_

**_..."We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."_**

"...What?"

_**"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?"**_

-"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" screamed Kiyo before lapsing into another breakdown. Apparently Folgore hadn't 'sucked him dry' quite yet.

_**"NO." he muttered loudly.**_

"Contradiction... contradiction.. contradiction..." Kiyo began repeating again.

_**...He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.**_

_**I was flattened-**_

"That's something I wouldn't mind doing to you," muttered Tia, grinning maniacally. Megumi ruffled her hair.

"Thata girl!" she praised. "You know exactly what to do in case you ever come across a Mary Sue."

_**..."OK then I guess I will have to."**_

"She's easily bought," said Sunbeam.

_**...B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). **_

"You only use that when you meet a person for the first time you stupid bitch!" shrieked Kiyo, shaking. "STOP! BUTCHERING! OUR LANGUAGE!"

_**"BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)**_

"How very mature," said Sunbeam, rolling his eyes over to the side.

_**..."Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."**_

_**"Kawai." I commnted happily .**_

"No, not kawaii!" exclaimed Kiyo. "That's not kawaii at all! Leave our language alone!

_**"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."**_

_**..."Omfg totally lets go shopping."**_

_**"In Hot Topic, right?"**_

_**..."No." My head snaped up.**_

_**'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"**_

"I... don't quite understand why you bothered asking if you only expected her to say Hot Topic," said Sunbeam, looking away. Although he was usually reasonably calm, it was obvious in his voice that he was becoming increasingly annoyed with the story.

_**"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."**_

_**"Hu told u abut them"**_

_**..."Dumblydore." She sed.**_

_**..."OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.**_

"That didn't look quiet," said Megumi, peering over Folgore's shoulder and at the computer screen.

_**...The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE-**_

"Well that made a lot of sense," sighed Sunbeam, fidgeting.

_**"...Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch."**_

"Alright, seriously, what the hell's going on here?" exclaimed Sunbeam, turning to one group member to the other as if expecting answers. "We were told earlier those two were going to jail or something, but then later they're back in the school teaching. What is up with this? Can we get some frickin' consistency here?"

_**"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.**_

_**"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.**_

_**"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.**_

_**"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit.**_

"I never get free outfits..." mumbled Megumi, looking like a jealous child.

_**"...my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA-"**_

"...Was that on purpose because she's angry at Raven, or is she really that stupid and oblivious?" asked Sunbeam, shifting uncomfortably.

_**-way what's yours?"**_

_**"Tom Rid."**_

"Ooooh no!" cried Wonrei, backing away in horror. "She's butchering everything that is canon! EVERYTHING!"

_**Chapter 17**_

_**...pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!**_

"She sure came crawling back quick," chuckled Sunbeam. Atleast there were a few things he could laugh at.

_**...Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts**_

"Again, why is he not put away?" said Sunbeam. "We were told earlier he was getting sent off."

_**...Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik)-**_

"No," said the group dryly. "You're not funny."

_**...Gerard was da sexiest guy eva!**_

_**...Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!**_

"Déjà vu," said Sunbeam. "I think some chapters may have been in the wrong order."

_**...Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!**_

Wonrei whimpered. "No... please... don't turn him into a goth too... I beg you..."

_**Chapter 18.**_

_**AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING!**_

_**...(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). **_

"SHUT UP!"

_**...Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.**_

**_...Willow was wearing-_**

"Oh sure, don't even bother explaining how she came back to life," snorted Sunbeam, having begun to shake in anger.

_**...suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.**_

_**"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.**_

"We already established that was Dumbledore you dumb girl," growled Sunbeam, clenching his teeth.

Wonrei choked back a sob.

_**...Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.**_

"I believe he saved your life," grumbled Sunbeam, his hands now in fists. "Poser or not, show a little respect!"

_**..."What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard)-**_

"GOD! I CAN'T TAKE IT!" came a scream, causing the members to turn simultaneously towards the noise. It was Sunbeam, who had suddenly bolted upright (causing Ponygon to drop rather ungracefully to the ground) and was clasping his head in terror. "This... this... Enough is enough! I've stayed fairly calm for the most part, but even I have a limit!" he keeled over slightly while holding his stomach, as if he felt physically ill. "You!" he roared, staggering over to Folgore and jabbing his finger in his face, just barely touching his nose. Swiftly, he seized the blonde idol by the collar of his shirt and flung him to the side, taking his place in the seat. "Out! Your point has been made. And you!" he swivelled the chair around to face Kiyo, who whimpered and shrunk back, not used to seeing the relatively calm and thoughtful Sunbeam in such a state. "We wouldn't be it this predicament if you had just kept your mouth shut and not pointed fingers!"

"But... but Folgore... He-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Y-yes sir..."

"But Sunbeam," piped in Folgore meekly. "We'a haven't even'a gotten to'a the good'a parts'a. Like'a the part'a where a hacker takes'a over her account and posts'a-"

"YOU SHUT UP TOO!"

"Y-yes'a sir..."

"It's funny," Megumi whispered to Tia, not taking her eyes off the suddenly mentally unstable man. "Out of all the people in here, I was certain it was going to be Wonrei who would snap this time. Didn't Sunbeam already snap awhile back."

"Nah, he only got kind of pissed off and bored," replied Tia dryly. "Besides, anything can happen now. Who knows, might be me who loses it temporarily next time."

"Okay, but try not to doing anything to rash, say like attacking Kanchome with a cleaver like he did you."

"I can't make any promises."

"Fair enough."

Sunbeam was pissed to say the very least, and he was out for revenge. Ponygon looked on in horror, hardly able to believe what his gentle partner had become.

"I'm running the show now, bitches!" he cackled maniacally, wildly clicking the back button. "I'm running the show!"

* * *

**I'm sorry for not doing a complete MI reading, I really should have thought it over better. If you're interested in reading more, however (assuming you haven't already died from a brain aneurysm, that is), it can be easily found reposted both on this site and on the internet. If you are the daring type, I do recommend you give the whole story a read, even if you don't like Harry Potter. It is a very important part of both fanfiction and internet culture.**

**Oh, and I will be changing my username in a short while, so if you see this under a different name, don't worry, it's still me. It's not like anyone will be able to steal this anyway, seeing as I am an extremely important person and have the best protection in the country and- Oh hai Employee #555. H-hows it going? Say, I do believe I owe you a raise, is that right?... I think that should make up for everything I've doOH GOD!**


	33. MPreg

**A/N: Alright, seems like I can't escape these pairing fics. I have gotten mutiple requests to do a Kiyo/Dufort pairing fic, and so, seeing as I didn't want it to be "just another slash/pairing fic", I decided to add... a sick little twist to it. This actually works out alright, as I haven't touched on this... _genre_ yet. On a side note, I finally changed my username. :D It's nothing special or original, but I prefer it over my old one.**

* * *

"Why would you take us back to the Zatch Bell section?" cried Kiyo in despair, biting down on his lip fiercely in an attempt to stop his furious tears. "You could have left the site! It would have been so easy! You could have saved us all!"

"I agree!" piped in Megumi, looking nearly as horrified. "You had full control of the computer and were not even in the Zatch Bell section, I see no reason why you couldn't just click that lovely exit button up there. Is this a revenge thing? If so, you're being just as immature as Kiyo and Folgore were earlier! You're not making things better, you're just doing the same thing everyone else has been doing to each other for the past who knows how long now! I can't say I'm any better, I did the exact same thing earlier, but now I realize my wrong-doings! It's an infinite cycle, can't you see? Are you even listening to me?"

It's hard to say whether or not Sunbeam even heard her. If he did, he didn't respond, as he was too busy browsing through the various fanfictions. He made sure to choose Kiyo as a specific character to increase the probability of finding a fanfiction to torment him with. It didn't take too long. The moment he saw the word 'Slash', he was sold.

**_Little Miracles_**

**_by xxxHotYaoiGuysRAwsumxxx_**

**_Summary: Birth. Truly a beautiful process. But when the two parents are this greatly in love, it makes the event all the more magical. KiyoxDufort Slash._**

"Nooo, not slash AGAIN!" moaned Kiyo, collapsing face-first into the ground. Dufort, although silent, looked nearly as terrified, glancing frantically around the room for an escape in which his mamodo would not notice. Neither of them seemed to have heard the part of the summary that spoke of birth, however. "Why do I have to suffer again?" continued to whine Kiyo. "Folgore made us sit through My Immortal, why doesn't he get to pay too?"

"Oh don't worry," replied Sunbeam calmly. "He'll get what's coming to him soon after."

Folgore gulped. Sunbeam read the last part of the summary.

_**MPreg.**_

"What is 'Mpreg'?" muttered Sunbeam as he read over the summary again, having not noticed Folgore look up suddenly, the largest and most horrified frown covering his face.

"Have'a mercy!" he cried, scrambling wildly over to Sunbeam. "I'a know I'a read'a My Immortal and all, but'a this'a is'a too much even for'a me'a! It's'a so'a wrong'a, so'a sick'a, I'a... I'a... Mamma Mia..."

"What does it mean?" asked Sunbeam, looking down at the terrified man who had fallen to the floor in exhaustion. Too weak to speak to the group as a whole, Folgore beckened Sunbeam over so he could whisper its horrible, disgusting meaning into his ear.

"Good god!" gasped Sunbeam, recoiling and straightening up suddenly. "It's... it's horrible... it's so wrong... it's so sick... it's... it's... PERFECT!"

**_Author's note: Hey guys! Thanks for reading my story. I hope you just LOVE it! OMG I just realized something awesome, can you guess what it is? This is my 20th KiyoxDufort slash fic! :D WOW! I'm dedicated!_**

"No, you're pathetic!" spat Kiyo, thrusting his nose away from the computer as if it was emitting a horrible smell. "Who spends so much time writing such filth?"

**_This story is going to be totally both hot and cute. Oh btw I'd like to thank my BFFL Justine for helping me out and giving me this idea in the first place! You're awesome girl you rock!_**

"O.M.G! Your like so goffik girl L.O.L.O.L.O.L! We should, like, totally slit our wrists together again sometime laughing out loud. Then we can listen to Gerard Way and organism to his vo-" Zeno stopped in mid-sentence when he realized Wonrei was in his face, snorting heavily like an angered bull.

"Look you precocious little turd, don't you EVER reference that work again!" he warned, narrowing his eyes and grasping the boy's face with both hands. For a split second, Zeno was sure he could feel his eyes piercing into his tiny soul. "My Immortal DOES NOT exist! It never did! That was all in our imaginations!"

"Oh come on," stammered Zeno, forcing an evil grin. Strangely, he actually felt somewhat afraid of this partially insane young man. "It was just a little jo-"

"Does not exist."

"Okay dumbass, you just keep telling yourself that and see if it comes tru-"

"Does not. Exist."

"Okay really now you're ju-"

"DOES. NOT... EXIST!"

**_"Our baby will be beautiful" whispered Dufort calmly, wrapping his arms around his husband's abdomen. _**

"Abdomen?" muttered Dufort, a grimace distorting his usually impassive facial features. That just didn't sound right.

"Aw man, a kid?" moaned Kiyo, slumping his shoulders and slouching over. "It's bad enough it's slash, but I don't want to think about Dufort and I as parents... ugh... Well, maybe it'll at least take the focus off the slash. How are we getting this child? Adoption? Surrogancy? I don't care how, just please take the focus away from the slash... please..."

"Oh, you'll see," murmured Sunbeam. grinning psychotically. This was going to be fabulous, he just knew it.

**_Kiyo giggled like a school girl (he's so cute ;D)._**

**_"Of course" he replied, pecking Dufort gently on the cheek. "I bet it'll have your eyes and hair."_**

**_"No" Dufort cooed back. "It'll look more like you."_**

"Uh, noooooo," responded Kiyo flatly, blinking. "If Dufort is the sperm donor, it'll look more like him. There can only be one daddy, not two! I of all people should know, I have an IQ of over 180," he added, jabbing himself so hard in the chest there was no doubt it would leave a bruise. "I'm smart! I am I am!

**_Kiyo turned away, closing his eyes and laughing as Dufort breathed down his neck. Dufort's breath. So warm yet so cool that it sent pleasant shivers down Kiyo's spine._**

"What is he, one of those warming and cooling muscle pain patch?" snorted Wonrei, seemingly having recovered from the previous My Immortal trauma. "I understand this is written by a deluded fangirl, but at least try and make some sense."

**_Kiyo and Dufort were about the same height and body type, but Dufort tended to take the dominate roles. _**

"LALALALA!" yelled Kiyo, clamping his hands over his ears. "DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT! DON'T NEED TO IMAGINE THAT!"

"You think you're suffering," muttered Dufort, quietly and calmly as usual. "You're not the one who has to put his-"

"SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP!" shrieked Kiyo, grasping his ears so tight you'd swear he was trying to tear them out. "God dammit! One of the few times you actually talk and you have to go and say that? I DON'T NEED TO IMAGINE THAT ANYMORE VIVIDLY!"

Dufort smirked slightly, turning away so Kiyo wouldn't see it. Although he wasn't fond of the brutal mutilation his character had to endure, the reaction it was pulling out of Kiyo did amuse him somewhat. Kiyo was much more emotional than he, after all. To Dufort, having to listen to a slash about himself was simply a... minor annoyance. Sure, he didn't really _want_ to listen to it, no one would if they had the choice, and it certainly disgusted him, it just didn't look like there was anyway of escaping it so he might as well just grin and bear it. He had lived in an asylum for most of his life anyway, it would take a bit more than a few fanfictions written by socially awkward virgin 13-year-olds to get a real, honest-to-god reaction out of him.

Besides, when the time comes where he finally manages to destroy humanity, he wouldn't have to worry about such petty things as that anyway.

**_That's how the miracle happened._**

As calm as he was, Dufort couldn't help but flinch at that line, surprising himself. Like the line from awhile back, something about that sentence sounded... very, very wrong.

**_Dufort's arms wrapped tighter around Kiyo's engorged belly, the life inside kicking and moving at every opportunity_**

To say Kiyo's eyes simply dilated would be the understatement of the year, possibly the century. In fact, it was astonishing someone didn't have to go over to him and shove his eyes right back into his sockets.

"W-what?" he stammered, an unusual numbness washing over his entire body. Dufort took a sharp intake of breath. He knew it, he freaking knew it. He, unlike Kiyo, had listened to the tiny hints dropped throughout the story, and he knew it was coming. Despite the circumstances, Dufort still took the time to thank whatever entity there was out there for not making him the pregnant one.

Kiyo and Dufort weren't the only ones affected by that revelation either, the whole group itself had become alive with whispering and muttering, the facial features ranging from disgusted to confused to even both.

"Oh my," gasped Sherry, covering her mouth in shock. "I know we women say we wish men knew how we felt, but this is going too far."

"Kiyo... w... what... how?" whimpered Suzy, holding her head and stumbling back as if she had just taken in too much information.

"I thought only girls could have babies," said Tia meekly, a few of the other young mamodos (and Suzy) nodding frantically in agreement. The partners groaned unanimously, clearly not wanting to have to attempt to explain that.

"Oh wow," howled Zeno, throwing his head back and letting the laughter just flow out. "Even I... I couldn't create something this... this... Oh hell yes! This is gold! Congratz Dufort," he added, patting his partner on the shoulder.

_**Kiyo was having Dufort's baby, and he couldn't be happier.**_

"Wha... Wh..." breathed a shocked Kiyo, unable to make a coherent sentence at the moment.

**_Sure, they never really planned for it, but sometimes the best things are surprises._**

"W... W..."

**_Kiyo smiled, he just knew they were gonna be great parents._**

"W... W..."

**_Kiyo placed his hand on top of Dufort's. Kiyo was 8 months along, only 1 more month til he gave birth. He heard it was a hard process, but it would totally be worth it._**

"YOU SICK BITCH!" finally roared Kiyo, attempting to stand but failing, his legs folding and collapsing beneath him. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? WHY WOULD YOU WANT THIS?"

"My goodness..." murmured Doctor Riddles, taking off his glasses and wiping off the steam caused by his extensive sweating. "I don't even wish to imagine how that happens... Oh Lord I'm imagining it now... Oh god... oh..."

The Doctor suddenly bent down and hid his face in his open palms, moaning in disgust and nearly causing poor Kido to lose his balance and fall off his shoulder. He choked back a sob, begging to god that at the very least the process would be taken care of by C-Section.

**_Nobody knew how it happened, and no one really cared._**

"I DO!" cried a traumatized Kiyo, shivering and holding his knees to his face.

"Uh... yes..." said Megumi flatly, looking unsure on how to properly respond to that. "I think if I were to get a call inviting me to Kiyo's baby shower, I most likely would care somewhat. And may have a few questions. Just a few."

_**Kiyo couldn't wait, he LOVED children!**_

"I HATE children!" spat Kiyo without even giving the words he spoke a thought. Only when he heard a small whimper fall from the lips of his young mamodo did he realize impact he made. "Oh... uh... except you Zatch," he added weakly, flashing the boy a nervous grin. "You're awesome."

"What about me?" whined Tia, also offended by his statement.

"Ugh... yeah... you too Tia."

"And me?" demanded Kanchome, placing his hands on his hips and pouting.

"You I tolerate," stated Kiyo dryly, narrowing his eyes at him. Kanchome met this response by blowing him a raspberry and running over to Folgore's side.

"Meru meh?"

"Shut the hell up Ponygon, you know damn well how I feel about yo-GAH MY HAND!"

**_Kiyo turned to face Dufort and smiled. Their lips touched and they began to make out passionately, their tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths._**

"Mmmm mmmmnnummpph slurp mmmmnh," mocked Zatch, clenching his fist and slobbering all over it as if it were a pair of lips. "Oh ravish me now you sexy beast!... I don't really know what that means, but I heard it from some dorama Kiyo watches... I think it's called 'Six Litres of Tears for my Gentle Fluttering Heart'."

"I swear to god I don't watch that!" Kiyo loudly assured the group. If Kiyo was beet-red before, he looked about ready to explode now. The fanfiction was bad enough, why did Zatch have to go and make his embarrassment 10x worse? Kiyo mentally noted that, if he ever got control back of the computer, he was going to make Zatch pay for that.

**_Suddenly Kiyo felt weird and he knew something was wrong._**

**_"Oh no!" cried Kiyo as felt a weird wetness on his crotch._**

"Forgot to put on your Depends again, did you now Kiyo?" snorted Brago, grinning proudly at his snarky comment. It certainly wasn't the most clever comment, but hey, it got boring sitting alone in a corner, he had to find some ways of entertaining himself. Watching Kiyo squirm was certainly entertaining. In fact, making Kiyo squirm seemed to have become the favorite activity for much of the group.

**_His water had broken!_**

_**"Dufort I think the baby's coming early!"**_

_**And then Kiyo fell and started to go into labor "OH MY GAWD I THINK IT'S COMING! I CAN FEEL IT'S HEAD!"**_

"But where is it coming out of?" squeaked Li-en, and she began to shudder. "Ew..."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" exclaimed Doctor Riddles, shaking his head in disgust. "Does this person know anything about birth? Ignoring the fact that this is happening to a man, this has to be the most unrealistic portrayal of birth I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. I am a doctor, I think I know a little more about this than she clearly does. How old is she? Ten? Eleven? Clearly this person has never taken a sexual education class."

Sunbeam stopped reading for a moment to click the author's user name and browse through her profile.

"Says there she's twenty-three," said Sunbeam finally, going back to the story's main page. Doctor Riddles was silent for a good while, staring blankly into space.

"My hope in humanity is officially destroyed," he finally said, turning away from the group to stare at the wall in both anger and misery.

**_"OH MY GOD! IT CAN'T BE!" yelled Dufort and he ran out of the room._**

"You bastard!" exclaimed Kiyo, stomping over and swiftly smacking a dumbstruck Dufort across the face, knocking him over. "The moment I go into labor and you leave my pregnant ass laying alone on the floor? There's no way in hell I'm letting you have him on the weekends! You have failed as both a husband and a fa-"

It was that moment Kiyo came to his senses and realized what he was doing, and what he was saying. He didn't need to look around to know he was being stared at (although it would be a lie to say everyone was looking at him. Much of the group had become accustomed to these random and unusual outbursts and didn't think much of them anymore. It was best to ignore them and pretend they never happened anyway).

"Uh... I... I'm sorry..." stammered a flushed Kiyo, backing slowly away from Dufort, who was rubbing the forming bruise and staring at him in disbelief. "I... I guess I was getting a little too caught up..."

**_"I'M GOING TO CALL AN AMBULANCE SO YOU CAN BE TAKEN TO A HOSPITAL TO PROPERLY GIVE BIRTH!"_**

"See, I was calling an ambulance for your ungrateful ass," muttered Dufort, sending Kiyo an unpleasant glance.

**_"Be quick my love" gasped Kiyo. He was sure the baby was ready to come._**

Suzy couldn't hold it anymore. The mere thought of a man giving birth, especially her beloved Kiyo, was too much, and she began to retch. She grasped her stomach and bent over her arm, coughing and gasping. "I-I'm sorry," she stammered between gags, tears running down her cheeks. "I-I can't do this! I would never wish that on any man, especially Kiyo!" with that, she scrambled up to her feet and made a bee-line for the washroom.

**_The ambulance soon came, and loaded a gasping Kiyo into the back. Dufort followed, never letting go of his lovers hand._**

**_"I'm so scared" gasped Kiyo to Dufort, tears welling up in his beautiful hazel eyes._**

"Considering where the baby might be coming out of, I'd be afraid too," said Wonrei, frowning and folding his legs as if to hide his groin. Kiyo let out an agonised howl.

"Noooo!" he screamed, holding his head and throwing it back. "Don't make me think about it! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?"

"Actually, come to think of it, I don't know why I'm covering my groin. Who says that's where the baby's coming out of?"

"OH MY GOD!"

**_"You can do it" assured Dufort placing his hand on his cheek. "You're so brave, and I'm so proud of you. I'll always be by your side baby, forever and ever."_**

**_Even though Kiyo's contractions were getting worse, with Dufort by his side he felt safe and happy and knew everything was gonna be OK. He slowly closed his eyes and went to sleep._**

_**End of chapter 1**_

Sunbeam took in a deep breath, turning around to admire his work. The group were certainly not on the verge of hysterics, not by a long shot, but still repulsed, perturbed, and somewhat unsure of how to react to the new-found genre that was MPreg. Sunbeam hadn't really intended to make the rest of the group suffer too much, but you know, extra points. Besides, he got what he wanted from his actual victim, who was laying crumpled on the ground, quivering, muttering, and holding himself. He had heard Kiyo choke back a sob the moment 'End of chapter 1' was spoken. Kiyo knew darn well that meant there were multiple chapters. Multiple chapters that included him giving birth and raising a child, all the while being in a sexual relationship with one of his greatest enemies. Sunbeam then looked at Dufort, who was anxiously chewing his lip but aside from that seemed reasonably collected. For a moment, Sunbeam felt kind of guilty for dragging him down along with Kiyo, but then remembered that Dufort was probably kind of an evil dickweed and he could fry for all he cared.

**_Well I hope you liked my story so far. :D Dufort and Kiyo are so hot, and they're gonna be great daddies. :D Tune in next time when Kiyo births his baby! It's gonna be so cute! :3_**

"Jesus Christ, there's fifteen chapters of this awful story," muttered Sunbeam, scanning the chapter list. He peered over at Kiyo, who was looking physically ill and twitching, still laying in a fetal position on the ground. As satisfying as it was for Sunbeam to watch him suffer, deep down he felt a little bad. The thought of any man, especially himself, carrying and giving birth to a child was... highly disturbing to say the very least. Sunbeam got pity pains in his lower regions just thinking about it. He sighed, hovering the pointer up to the top left and clicking the back button. One chapter was enough.

"You've suffered enough," stated Sunbeam, little emotion in his voice. "I see no point in hurting you more."

"Oh thank you!" sobbed Kiyo, crawling over to Sunbeam and throwing himself around his leg. "Thank you thank you thank yooouuu!"

Sunbeam smiled slightly, scanning the lists of fanfictions once again while ignoring the annoying, blubbering mass the insisted on attaching itself to his leg.

"If I spend anymore time on you," he said calmly, browsing through the Folgore-themed stories. "We'll have no time for our Italian friend over there."

Folgore paled and swallowed. "Oh'a boy..."


End file.
